to be in the same room with me. It makes no damn sense. Something was hurting her so bad that she couldn’t breathe and it felt to me like there was more to the story than a just a wreck, but what do I know. The girl shut me out so fast my head was spinning and I didn’t even have the chance to understand. The words love the one you were meant to love, have haunted my dreams every time my eyes closed. I replayed them over and over. Knowing all too well that I should have told her that I loved her, and maybe none of this shit would have happened. I will keep this letter and maybe when she gets well she will be able to explain things to me. Maybe she would let me tell her that I only love her and that it will always be her, no matter what.
I’m sure that over the last couple of days her parents were sick of hearing from me. After the first three calls, her dad finally quit waiting for me to call and called me himself instead. Bill would call me every chance that he could, letting me know how she was doing. She luckily didn’t suffer any significant damages, but mentally she was a mess. When I spoke to Bill a couple of hours ago he said that she agreed to a long term treatment. When they discharge her today she’d go straight into the facility for treatment and counseling. The news was shocking. I wouldn’t have expected her to agree to get help and because she has, I feel like there is hope after all. Bill said that she didn’t struggle with the decision at all. Her mind was immediately made up. When I asked him how long she’d be away he didn’t know for sure. All he knew was she had agreed to ninety days, but it could be longer.
Ninety days is a long damn time. Hopefully this would be what she needs to heal and maybe after treatment she will finally agree to see me. I can’t say for sure, but one thing I can say is that I’ll wait her out. I haven’t slept right since that day in the hospital when she didn’t want to see me. What’s ninety more days?
15
Shine
Turns out dying wasn’t in the cards for me. When I woke up inside the hospital and they told me that Moon had saved my life, I was pissed. I know it wasn’t the reaction people were expecting, but I couldn’t help it. I felt like he had no right putting his big Moon head in my business.
Then came day two and I could no longer be mad at him. In fact, once I stopped crying, I realized that I loved him even more. He saved my life. Now it was time to fix what he gave me back. I think. After all the medication left my system, I realized what a messed up thing I did and how lucky I really was. There are so many people that won’t ever get a second chance. I wonder how many of those people who actually kill themselves wish that they had another chance at life or that they could take it back. I have to get better. I would at least try, but this new chapter and new place scares the pants off me. Being alone with my feelings wasn’t something I was prepared for, but I didn’t have any time left. I was leaving for Peaceful Days Treatment Facility as we speak. I couldn’t even go home first. I agreed to go straight there as soon as I signed the release papers from the hospital.
Mom had my bags waiting in the car when I climbed inside. There were a lot of bags in the seat next to me, to be only spending ninety days. It felt like it was going to be an eternity.
When we pulled up in front of the building and I took a look around, it wasn’t what I was expecting. I thought it would look more like a hospital. It didn’t. It looked like a one story bungalow. It seemed rather low in its rise, and the color was a brownish green. It was very earth like and mellow, some might call it serene. I would consider a place like this more of a vacation spot, or at least I
I’m sure that over the last couple of days her parents were sick of hearing from me. After the first three calls, her dad finally quit waiting for me to call and called me himself instead. Bill would call me every chance that he could, letting me know how she was doing. She luckily didn’t suffer any significant damages, but mentally she was a mess. When I spoke to Bill a couple of hours ago he said that she agreed to a long term treatment. When they discharge her today she’d go straight into the facility for treatment and counseling. The news was shocking. I wouldn’t have expected her to agree to get help and because she has, I feel like there is hope after all. Bill said that she didn’t struggle with the decision at all. Her mind was immediately made up. When I asked him how long she’d be away he didn’t know for sure. All he knew was she had agreed to ninety days, but it could be longer.
Ninety days is a long damn time. Hopefully this would be what she needs to heal and maybe after treatment she will finally agree to see me. I can’t say for sure, but one thing I can say is that I’ll wait her out. I haven’t slept right since that day in the hospital when she didn’t want to see me. What’s ninety more days?
15
Shine
Turns out dying wasn’t in the cards for me. When I woke up inside the hospital and they told me that Moon had saved my life, I was pissed. I know it wasn’t the reaction people were expecting, but I couldn’t help it. I felt like he had no right putting his big Moon head in my business.
Then came day two and I could no longer be mad at him. In fact, once I stopped crying, I realized that I loved him even more. He saved my life. Now it was time to fix what he gave me back. I think. After all the medication left my system, I realized what a messed up thing I did and how lucky I really was. There are so many people that won’t ever get a second chance. I wonder how many of those people who actually kill themselves wish that they had another chance at life or that they could take it back. I have to get better. I would at least try, but this new chapter and new place scares the pants off me. Being alone with my feelings wasn’t something I was prepared for, but I didn’t have any time left. I was leaving for Peaceful Days Treatment Facility as we speak. I couldn’t even go home first. I agreed to go straight there as soon as I signed the release papers from the hospital.
Mom had my bags waiting in the car when I climbed inside. There were a lot of bags in the seat next to me, to be only spending ninety days. It felt like it was going to be an eternity.
When we pulled up in front of the building and I took a look around, it wasn’t what I was expecting. I thought it would look more like a hospital. It didn’t. It looked like a one story bungalow. It seemed rather low in its rise, and the color was a brownish green. It was very earth like and mellow, some might call it serene. I would consider a place like this more of a vacation spot, or at least I
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