Moonshine by Regina Bartley Page A

wish it was. Oh to be able to vacation away from your problems.
                  It wasn’t until I neared the entrance that I started feeling anxious. The whole trip there I felt ready to go. Then we get five feet from the door and I get cold feet. Immediately I wished I had my meds. I turned to look at mom with what I’m sure was a look of panic.
                  “I am scared. I feel like I need my anxiety pills. I don’t think I can go in.” I shook my hands out in front of me.
                  “The hospital gave you your medication before we left. You won’t be allowed to have anymore for a while. It is gonna be okay though. I’m right here with you and I’m not leaving your side until I know that everything is as it should be.”
                  I nodded because well, what choice did I have. I’d have to go in, regardless if I had a full blown panic attack or not. Hopefully, the very small dose of medication that the hospital gave me will keep the panicking to a minimal. I shut my eyes and took a deep breath. Composure was what I needed, but not what I had. Onward soldier, I chanted in my head.
                  I let momma lead the way inside, and dad followed closely behind us. We were greeted by an older lady named Gerry who knew exactly who I was before I spoke. Maybe I had that look about me. You know the one that says “look at me. I hate life so much that I tried to off myself.” Sometimes I feel like it would help to scream those words, but you know how I like attention.
                  “Hello Shine. My name is Gerry and I am the R.A. I’m not even sure what that stands for. To me, it’s just a fancy name for Den Momma around here.” She chuckled and the plumpness around her stomach shook up and down. “I stay here at the facility around the clock. This door here,” she pointed to the door behind her. “That’s where you can find me, most of the time. I am in charge around here, and I expect to be treated kindly. That is, if you wish to be treated that way back, and if you want to be fed.”
                  I just nodded in understanding. She had more of a grandmother look about her. She had short and curly dark hair with several pieces of gray weaved in. Her skin was as dark as night and smooth. She only showed wrinkles around her eyes. I’d guess that she was much younger than what she appeared, but her gray hair and clothes said otherwise.
                  “We are a co-ed facility, and we currently have about eighteen patients. At times we can have as many as forty. Let’s just hope we don’t ever see this place full.” She continued down the hall and talked the entire way. She seemed nice from what I could tell, but I can imagine that her bad side would be brutal. She pointed her finger towards what appeared to be a TV room and all I could think about was the two inches fingernails that were pointy like a witch and the coat of dark red polish that lay on them. Creepy! “We run a very tight ship around here and I will expect you to follow all of the rules that’ll be given. This is your room.” She opened the door and we entered slowly.
                  “This is nice, Shine. Isn’t it?”  Mom asked as Dad sat the bag he had been carrying onto the bed.
                  Of course I was still yet to respond. I wasn’t sure what to think. The room was nice. It was small and plain, and that’s just how I like it. I knew that I would find a little peace in here as long as I could be alone, and the color was great. It was a pale green and the only thing on the wall was a dry erase board with magnets. It wasn’t too shabby.
                  “Here is a packet of rules and a list of everyday activities. It’s the same every day. There are three meals and the occasional snacks. You must attend meal time even if you don’t eat. There is a scheduled group