around my brain. Her dreaming about me that way meant that
she was thinking about me … that way !
She wants me too? My mind kept on going here and there. The memory of my head buried
between her thighs, drinking her sweet nectar, made an appearance in my head, but it was
more focused on her hands that kept pushing me in … not out.
Back then when it happened, I'd thought that I gave her no time to think before I
finished the job. Why I didn't think that maybe she didn't push me away because she wanted
it, too? Why didn't I think about the fact that she didn't feel 'oh so betrayed' until after she
came?!
Then another memory flashed in my mind: the day when we kissed in the water. Yes!
Actually, I said we .
I didn't just kiss her! We kissed! She fucking kissed me back ! Why the fuck had I never
thought about this fucking shit before?
My fucking sister lusted after me, too!
"What do you want me to say?" I spat. "I'm attracted to you and the lust I have for you
is like a fucking speeding train, I can't stop it, and I can't fucking help it? At least I admit it.
I'm not living in denial like some people." I was fucking mad; she was acting like there was
nothing wrong with her at all. What the fuck was the matter with her? Why wouldn't she
admit it?
"What do you mean?" she asked, apparently having no idea that she indeed wanted me,
too.
Yes , I was fucking sorry I did what I just did. Yes , I was fucking feeling guilty about it,
but give me a fucking break. I wasn't the only one who was lusting after the wrong person,
here.
"Nothing, Lily, forget it, okay?" I shook my head, and shrugged my arm away to make
her lose her hold on me. It was fucking distracting, and I was… Well, I was mad at her.
She just stood there with a gaping mouth, which made me think of nothing but that
mouth wrapped around me and what would it feel like.
Fuck! I'm getting a hard-on … again!
"I'm sorry," I apologized. It was what she wanted to hear, and I needed some time to
sort my thoughts together and see what I was going to do with tonight's revelation. "Now,
excuse me. I need to get some sleep." I closed the door right in her face, knowing I had to
do something about it.
Okay, so eventually, I didn't do anything about it whatsoever. I didn't know what to do. I
mean, I couldn't just go to her and tell her, "Wake up, you want me too!" now could I?
After all, I was taking her dreams as my proof. Dreams. Not facts or realities. Maybe my
first reasons were right after all; maybe I didn't give her an opportunity to do anything
except to come when I was going down on her. Maybe she kissed me back out of habit…
Yeah, like she'd ever kissed anyone but you before — or after, for that matter.
Fuck… I didn't know. I really didn't know what I should do. So I just stayed silent; it
was the best thing I could think to do.
"Adrian, you're awfully silent these days! It's not like you at all," Julia pointed out from
Sean's lap. I just glared at her. Why the fuck does she care?
"Yes, Adrian, you are," Sandra said from Elliot's lap. I glared at her, too. What is their
problem?
They looked fucking disgusting, the four of them. Why did they insist on dry humping
each other right in the middle of the cafeteria?! Fuckers!
I glanced at Lily as we all sat at our lunch table. She looked away and busied herself with
her food. I left the table without a word. I needed a smoke. It wasn't until I reached the
playing field and sat on the green grass that I realized I was being followed. I didn't bother to
turn around and see who it was. I didn't care. I took out a cigarette and lit it, mildly hoping it
wasn't someone who could get me in trouble for smoking there.
"Care to share?" Ian asked from beside me. I gave it to him after taking a drag, without
looking his way.
"Do you wanna tell me what's going on?" he asked as he handed me the cigarette back.
I took another drag and replied with a small, "Nothing."
"Adrian, it
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