Colton’s recliner sweet little Ryleigh nestled in her lap, sleeping peacefully. She tilts her head to the side and glares at me curiously. Snickering she says, “You look like hell.”
I flop down in the corner of the couch, pulling my legs up to my chest, hugging my knees securely. Looking her up and down, I consider remarking on the sloppy pony and wrinkled up pajamas she’s sportin’ but hell, she wears motherhood well. “Feel like it too.” I groan, not so much as for show either because I’m genuinely exhausted.
“So what’s up, why ya lookin’ like you were just dragged outta the Dixie dumpster for?” Her shoulders shake as a smartass giggle falls off her lips. Yep, that’s my little sis. She’s fluent in Redneck, Bitch AND Sarcasm, y’all… ain’t I lucky.
“Just not sleeping well, got a lot on my mind these days.”
“Ah yeah? Tell me ‘bout it, Sis.” Carly says, mindlessly swaying Ryleigh back and forth.
“Oh you know, your everyday run of the mill case of psycho husband.” I shrug like this is random chit chat. Hell, anymore it really is. She chews on that thought for a moment then smiles wide just before she speaks, like her next statement is one of utter brilliance.
“My advice?” She passes me a sideways glance. Nodding my head she says, “Let it go.”
“Let it go?” I deadpan, my eyebrows scrunching up in confusion.
“Yep, just let it go.” Her smiles never waivers.
“Have you been watching Frozen again?” That’s the only explanation for her stupid comment. I swear these kids have embed that damn movie into our heads for nearly a year.
“Hey, sometimes you just gotta take the advice of a quirky little snowman.” Noticing that I find absolutely no humor in her advice, she rolls her eyes and huffs. “Listen, okay? Josh is old news, Savannah. You know he’s off his rocker. I told you, let Michele handle the divorce and do your best to put it all behind you.”
Oh as if it’s all that simple. Just because he’s behind bars miles away, I should erase him from thought, pretending that chapter of my life never happened? Holy hell, wouldn’t that be marvelous? Guess what? It don’t happen that easily. My eyes narrow and I bite my words out harshly. “You know, I could probably let it go if Josh was someone I could just forget. But he’s not, Carly. He’s my husband, the father of my children. He’s the man that I spent the last ten years of my life trying to make happy, trying to love. He’s the man who evoked so much fear and hatred in me. The memories, Carly, of what he did to me are not forgettable. I wish like hell they were!”
“That’s good, Savannah! You’re finally getting angry. You’re finally showing more emotion than wallowing in self-pity!” Oh damn, did she just go there? Yep, I think she did.
“Carly, I didn’t come here to be badgered. You can’t possibly understand how I feel. Colton loves you and would never do you harm. You don’t have to live in fear of the unknown.” I spit as the anger continues to bubble up from the pit of my belly.
Carly gives me a pointed look as she picks Ryleigh up and carries her to the nursery. When she returns she stops by the kitchen before returning to the living room with two Mason jars of sweet tea. Placing them on the coffee table, she climbs on the couch next to me, crossing her legs under her ass and folding her hands in her lap.
“I don’t understand.” She shrugs in agreement. “Josh is locked up. He can’t hurt you anymore. Why are you still so scared of him?”
“It’s not just him that I fear, Carly. You have someone to watch over you and your children each night. Do you realize that I’ve only slept maybe four hours since Friday night, because every noise shocks terror through me? Luke’s gone. I haven’t heard from him in nearly a week. Now Drew thinks it’s funny to take his place on the swing, pretending to protect me having my best interest at heart. HA, like that
I flop down in the corner of the couch, pulling my legs up to my chest, hugging my knees securely. Looking her up and down, I consider remarking on the sloppy pony and wrinkled up pajamas she’s sportin’ but hell, she wears motherhood well. “Feel like it too.” I groan, not so much as for show either because I’m genuinely exhausted.
“So what’s up, why ya lookin’ like you were just dragged outta the Dixie dumpster for?” Her shoulders shake as a smartass giggle falls off her lips. Yep, that’s my little sis. She’s fluent in Redneck, Bitch AND Sarcasm, y’all… ain’t I lucky.
“Just not sleeping well, got a lot on my mind these days.”
“Ah yeah? Tell me ‘bout it, Sis.” Carly says, mindlessly swaying Ryleigh back and forth.
“Oh you know, your everyday run of the mill case of psycho husband.” I shrug like this is random chit chat. Hell, anymore it really is. She chews on that thought for a moment then smiles wide just before she speaks, like her next statement is one of utter brilliance.
“My advice?” She passes me a sideways glance. Nodding my head she says, “Let it go.”
“Let it go?” I deadpan, my eyebrows scrunching up in confusion.
“Yep, just let it go.” Her smiles never waivers.
“Have you been watching Frozen again?” That’s the only explanation for her stupid comment. I swear these kids have embed that damn movie into our heads for nearly a year.
“Hey, sometimes you just gotta take the advice of a quirky little snowman.” Noticing that I find absolutely no humor in her advice, she rolls her eyes and huffs. “Listen, okay? Josh is old news, Savannah. You know he’s off his rocker. I told you, let Michele handle the divorce and do your best to put it all behind you.”
Oh as if it’s all that simple. Just because he’s behind bars miles away, I should erase him from thought, pretending that chapter of my life never happened? Holy hell, wouldn’t that be marvelous? Guess what? It don’t happen that easily. My eyes narrow and I bite my words out harshly. “You know, I could probably let it go if Josh was someone I could just forget. But he’s not, Carly. He’s my husband, the father of my children. He’s the man that I spent the last ten years of my life trying to make happy, trying to love. He’s the man who evoked so much fear and hatred in me. The memories, Carly, of what he did to me are not forgettable. I wish like hell they were!”
“That’s good, Savannah! You’re finally getting angry. You’re finally showing more emotion than wallowing in self-pity!” Oh damn, did she just go there? Yep, I think she did.
“Carly, I didn’t come here to be badgered. You can’t possibly understand how I feel. Colton loves you and would never do you harm. You don’t have to live in fear of the unknown.” I spit as the anger continues to bubble up from the pit of my belly.
Carly gives me a pointed look as she picks Ryleigh up and carries her to the nursery. When she returns she stops by the kitchen before returning to the living room with two Mason jars of sweet tea. Placing them on the coffee table, she climbs on the couch next to me, crossing her legs under her ass and folding her hands in her lap.
“I don’t understand.” She shrugs in agreement. “Josh is locked up. He can’t hurt you anymore. Why are you still so scared of him?”
“It’s not just him that I fear, Carly. You have someone to watch over you and your children each night. Do you realize that I’ve only slept maybe four hours since Friday night, because every noise shocks terror through me? Luke’s gone. I haven’t heard from him in nearly a week. Now Drew thinks it’s funny to take his place on the swing, pretending to protect me having my best interest at heart. HA, like that
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