Mega
Millions
Joshua Harris
waited in line at the liquor store to pay for a case of beer. As he
approached the cash register, he noticed the advertisement for the
Mega Millions. It had grown substantially since his last visit.
Josh never played the lottery. He knew it was for suckers. Besides,
he had more important things to spend money on: beer, beef jerky,
and potato chips.
The man in front of Josh paid for
his wine and exited the store. Josh didn't move, instead he stared
dumbly at the jackpot advertisement. The old woman behind Josh gave
him an impatient nudge.
"Sorry," Josh said and stepped
forward. "I must have been daydreaming."
"About winning?" The old woman
sighed. "It'd be nice."
"Huh?" Josh had no idea what she
was talking about.
"The jackpot, of
course."
"Oh, yeah, right," Josh said.
Actually, he hadn't been thinking about the jackpot at all.
Instead, he was considering how many beers he'd be able to drink
before Shelly would cuss him out, but since he didn't want to
appear to be an idiot, he said to the cashier, "Hey Kelly, how much
is that up to now?"
Kelly scanned the adult magazine
on the conveyor belt and put it a paper bag along with Josh's
snacks. "999 million. Largest jackpot ever."
The old woman said, "Someone's
dream is about to come true."
"Crazy," Kelly replied.
"Crazy," Josh agreed, thinking
about all the beer he could buy. "You know what? I'll get a
ticket."
Kelly raised an eyebrow. "Just
one?"
"Yeah, one will be
fine."
"What numbers do you want? I'll
key them in."
"Hell, I don't know." Josh picked
up a lottery brochure and looked over the list of numbers printed
on the back. He pointed at random numbers and quietly read them
off, then he thought better of picking that way. After placing the
brochure back, he grabbed a tiny, green pencil and a number
selection sheet. "Uhhh," Josh said and filled in the six five
numbers that came to mind.
Kelly held out her hand, and Josh
gave her the slip.
"Good luck," the old woman
said.
"No luck needed," Josh replied. "I
have a real good feeling about this."
Kelly loaded the beer into the
paper bag then handed the lottery ticket back to Josh along with
his change.
Josh unceremoniously stuffed the
ticket into his wallet, and in the process, dropped most of the
change on to the floor. "Oops," Josh said, and headed out of the
liquor store, leaving Kelly and the old woman to pick up his
mess.
As the door closed behind him,
Josh heard the old woman say, "What an assho—"
By the time Josh made it home,
he'd completely forgotten about purchasing the ticket. With his
long and hard day done, he sat in his favorite recliner, drank beer
after beer, and watched a college football game. After a while, he
fell asleep, just like always, and a few hours later, he woke up to
the annoying and loud voice of an infomercial pitch man trying to
sell him some new super-tool with a super-charged rotating this or
that, just like always.
Josh left the the television on
and groggily made his way upstairs.
Michelle, Josh's wife, was jarred
from sleep due to Josh tripping over his own jeans as he tried to
take them off. She was never happy to be woken up like that, Josh
knew, and since it happened so often, he should have known that she
wasn't happily married in general. In fact, Josh should have known
that Michelle was sick of it all, but mostly she was sick of
Josh.
There were plenty of other things
Josh should have known, as well. Michelle worked hard, took care of
the house, did the shopping, made the meals, and even took out the
damned garbage. When she wasn't busting her ass on things that
needed to be done around the house, she worked out on the treadmill
and attended a Pilates class to keep in shape. She had always been
a determined self-starter. The man she had married was a determined
lazy-ass. Josh did absolutely nothing around the house except drink
beer and watch sports. To Michelle, Josh was an unkempt, overweight
slob. She could have forgiven
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