didn’t hurt seeing me with other women. I shouldn’t have led her on all these years, but I didn’t really care how she felt as long as I was getting my end away, I knew that every time she told me about some bloke she’d shagged or let me hear her having sex while I was in the next room, that she was trying to provoke jealousy in me, but it never worked. I thought I was incapable of becoming jealous, until today.
“Sasha, I’m sorry. I love Rosie. I’ve got to go” I walk to the door before t urning to say one more thing, “We can’t be friends any more Sash” I see Sash hang her head as she accepts the end of our friendship, and I leave.
I can’t believe I nearly shagged Sasha ! Why was that my first thought after our row to run to someone else? If Rosie does take me back after this am I going to rush straight to the bed of another woman every time we fall out? It doesn’t matter now anyway, I’m going to tell her about what happened with Sasha in Thailand and about today, and she won’t forgive that.
I can’t bear the thought of going back to flat and seeing all traces of Rosie gone. I consider going to Rafael’s but Rosie might be there, and even if she isn’t she will have spoken to Rafe by now and I don’t think I’m ready for that confrontation. I just need to clear my head. I walk away from Sasha’s flat devastated that just two days ago the future was all laid out in front of me, happy future full of love. Now I’m alone again. I head into the nearest pub knowing that if it wasn’t already, my relationship is now over.
Chapter Eleven
I’ve been alone in Jackson’s flat all day. He doesn’t have his phone and hasn’t been home since he stormed out this morning. It’s getting dark and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. It’s his birthday tomorrow and I can’t bear the thought of not waking up with him when he turns thirty.
He sounded as though we were finished when he left so he probably won’t want me here when he gets back, but if he’s calmed down and I’m not here, he might think that I’ve given up on us. So I decide to do a little of both, I pack up anything of mine from his flat into two bags and put them by the door, a clear indication that I’m ready to go if he wants me to. Then I wait, and I’ve been waiting for hours…
At just after six fifteen I hear the key in the lock and my heart leaps into my throat, I don’t know what to expect. Jackson opens the door and pauses for a moment when he sees the bags; he looks at me before turning to close the door.
“Y ou’re still here.” It’s a statement not a question and I stand to leave, hearing disappointment in his voice at the sight of me; my heart starts to break, “Wait Rosie, I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I’m glad you’re here, but we need to talk.”
Tears fall from my eyes before I can muster the power to stop them, and as I have been for a large part of the day, I’m sobbing. Jackson rushes to hold me and when I look up at him I notice that his eyes are almost as wet as mine,
“Rosie, I love you, but let’s talk!”
My heart is in pieces as I sit and Jackson sits next to me on the sofa, our short but sweet relationship is coming to an end because of my insecurities. I am furious with myself and with Jackson for not fighting harder. He holds my hand and takes a deep breath before lowering the axe,
“We’re good together me and you, we just fit” he squeezes my hand and I am confused by his words, “But we’re also terrible together, we fight and pick at each other, and you’re never going to trust me”
“I do tr…” I interrupt but he cuts me off,
“You’re right not to trust me Rosie” Jackson looks down at our joined hands and takes a deep breath, I am nervous to hear what will follow that last statement.
“W hen I got scared in Thailand, my first instinct was to push you away the best way that I know how, by fucking someone else. Today, when I
“Sasha, I’m sorry. I love Rosie. I’ve got to go” I walk to the door before t urning to say one more thing, “We can’t be friends any more Sash” I see Sash hang her head as she accepts the end of our friendship, and I leave.
I can’t believe I nearly shagged Sasha ! Why was that my first thought after our row to run to someone else? If Rosie does take me back after this am I going to rush straight to the bed of another woman every time we fall out? It doesn’t matter now anyway, I’m going to tell her about what happened with Sasha in Thailand and about today, and she won’t forgive that.
I can’t bear the thought of going back to flat and seeing all traces of Rosie gone. I consider going to Rafael’s but Rosie might be there, and even if she isn’t she will have spoken to Rafe by now and I don’t think I’m ready for that confrontation. I just need to clear my head. I walk away from Sasha’s flat devastated that just two days ago the future was all laid out in front of me, happy future full of love. Now I’m alone again. I head into the nearest pub knowing that if it wasn’t already, my relationship is now over.
Chapter Eleven
I’ve been alone in Jackson’s flat all day. He doesn’t have his phone and hasn’t been home since he stormed out this morning. It’s getting dark and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. It’s his birthday tomorrow and I can’t bear the thought of not waking up with him when he turns thirty.
He sounded as though we were finished when he left so he probably won’t want me here when he gets back, but if he’s calmed down and I’m not here, he might think that I’ve given up on us. So I decide to do a little of both, I pack up anything of mine from his flat into two bags and put them by the door, a clear indication that I’m ready to go if he wants me to. Then I wait, and I’ve been waiting for hours…
At just after six fifteen I hear the key in the lock and my heart leaps into my throat, I don’t know what to expect. Jackson opens the door and pauses for a moment when he sees the bags; he looks at me before turning to close the door.
“Y ou’re still here.” It’s a statement not a question and I stand to leave, hearing disappointment in his voice at the sight of me; my heart starts to break, “Wait Rosie, I didn’t mean it to sound like that. I’m glad you’re here, but we need to talk.”
Tears fall from my eyes before I can muster the power to stop them, and as I have been for a large part of the day, I’m sobbing. Jackson rushes to hold me and when I look up at him I notice that his eyes are almost as wet as mine,
“Rosie, I love you, but let’s talk!”
My heart is in pieces as I sit and Jackson sits next to me on the sofa, our short but sweet relationship is coming to an end because of my insecurities. I am furious with myself and with Jackson for not fighting harder. He holds my hand and takes a deep breath before lowering the axe,
“We’re good together me and you, we just fit” he squeezes my hand and I am confused by his words, “But we’re also terrible together, we fight and pick at each other, and you’re never going to trust me”
“I do tr…” I interrupt but he cuts me off,
“You’re right not to trust me Rosie” Jackson looks down at our joined hands and takes a deep breath, I am nervous to hear what will follow that last statement.
“W hen I got scared in Thailand, my first instinct was to push you away the best way that I know how, by fucking someone else. Today, when I
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