do. You need to obey Anna just like you would me."
Ernie let out a loud sigh. "Yes, sir."
After the cake was served and the dishes were done, Ernie obediently stood on a chair next to the table while Anna measured him and made notes on each of the measurements. "I'll start sewing tomorrow so you can have new clothes to wear to church on Sunday."
Ernie didn't say anything, but the interest on his face showed her that he would be pleased to wear clothes that fit properly now that the hard part of standing still to be measured was over.
After he'd gone up to bed, Anna sat at the table, carefully cutting out several pair of pants for him and some new shirts, using an old pair of pants and an old shirt as a pattern, and simply adjusting them to the new measurements she'd taken. It was while she was working that Jesse sat at the table with her and cleared his throat.
Anna looked up, half afraid of what he would say to her. Jesse was sometimes friendly, sometimes cruel, and sometimes simply indifferent. She never knew what she'd get from him.
"May I tell you about my first wife so you can understand just a bit better?" Jesse asked, deliberately keeping his voice soft. He'd thought about having this conversation with her since his prayer at dinner, and he knew it was necessary for them to have simply to keep the peace.
She nodded, dreading his words. What would he say to her?
He took a deep breath. "When I first saw my wife, we were both children. I knew from the first day we met that I wanted to marry her." He frowned, thinking about how ornery he'd acted as a result of that. "I chased her around the playground at recess and made her life difficult. The other girls teased her about me, but I didn't care. We started courting when she was sixteen, and I was eighteen. I couldn't get her pa to let her step out with me before that."
"I don't really blame him. I don't think girls should marry before they're eighteen anyway."
"Well, we married a year later. She was seventeen and I was nineteen. She got pregnant with Ernie right off, and it was a difficult delivery for her. The midwife said that we shouldn't have any more babies, because she was just too small, but when she got pregnant again five years later, I was sure everything would be all right." He ran his hand over his face as if he was trying to keep from crying. "She died giving birth, and the baby died with her. I lost my wife and my daughter on the same day."
"I'm so sorry." And she was. She felt horrible for what had happened in his past, but she truly felt like he should still be able to live his life.
He shook his head. "I don't expect you to feel sorry for me. I just need you to understand why I can't love anyone else. You see, I promised her as she was dying that I'd take good care of Ernie and little Abigail, who was still clinging to life. When Deborah died, I just lost the will to love anyone. She was my everything."
Anna cocked her head to one side. "If you had died first, would you have expected Deborah to remain faithful to you for the rest of her life? Or would you have wanted her to find someone else to make her happy?"
He stared at her for a moment and shook his head. "She'd have had to marry someone to provide for her and the children. A woman can't provide for a family on her own."
"And a man can't provide for a family, keep house, and cook. You think you should be able to do it all, but you don't think that she should have had to do it all. Why is that?"
"I'm a man."
Anna's eyes widened in surprise. Had he really just said that to her? "So it's because you're a man that you're able to do more than any woman ever could?" Did he have any idea just how he sounded?
"Well, of course." Jesse watched her face and realized he'd made a mistake. "Well, no, but I couldn't ask her to be unhappy just because I died first."
"But you think she'd ask it of you?"
He thought about
Ernie let out a loud sigh. "Yes, sir."
After the cake was served and the dishes were done, Ernie obediently stood on a chair next to the table while Anna measured him and made notes on each of the measurements. "I'll start sewing tomorrow so you can have new clothes to wear to church on Sunday."
Ernie didn't say anything, but the interest on his face showed her that he would be pleased to wear clothes that fit properly now that the hard part of standing still to be measured was over.
After he'd gone up to bed, Anna sat at the table, carefully cutting out several pair of pants for him and some new shirts, using an old pair of pants and an old shirt as a pattern, and simply adjusting them to the new measurements she'd taken. It was while she was working that Jesse sat at the table with her and cleared his throat.
Anna looked up, half afraid of what he would say to her. Jesse was sometimes friendly, sometimes cruel, and sometimes simply indifferent. She never knew what she'd get from him.
"May I tell you about my first wife so you can understand just a bit better?" Jesse asked, deliberately keeping his voice soft. He'd thought about having this conversation with her since his prayer at dinner, and he knew it was necessary for them to have simply to keep the peace.
She nodded, dreading his words. What would he say to her?
He took a deep breath. "When I first saw my wife, we were both children. I knew from the first day we met that I wanted to marry her." He frowned, thinking about how ornery he'd acted as a result of that. "I chased her around the playground at recess and made her life difficult. The other girls teased her about me, but I didn't care. We started courting when she was sixteen, and I was eighteen. I couldn't get her pa to let her step out with me before that."
"I don't really blame him. I don't think girls should marry before they're eighteen anyway."
"Well, we married a year later. She was seventeen and I was nineteen. She got pregnant with Ernie right off, and it was a difficult delivery for her. The midwife said that we shouldn't have any more babies, because she was just too small, but when she got pregnant again five years later, I was sure everything would be all right." He ran his hand over his face as if he was trying to keep from crying. "She died giving birth, and the baby died with her. I lost my wife and my daughter on the same day."
"I'm so sorry." And she was. She felt horrible for what had happened in his past, but she truly felt like he should still be able to live his life.
He shook his head. "I don't expect you to feel sorry for me. I just need you to understand why I can't love anyone else. You see, I promised her as she was dying that I'd take good care of Ernie and little Abigail, who was still clinging to life. When Deborah died, I just lost the will to love anyone. She was my everything."
Anna cocked her head to one side. "If you had died first, would you have expected Deborah to remain faithful to you for the rest of her life? Or would you have wanted her to find someone else to make her happy?"
He stared at her for a moment and shook his head. "She'd have had to marry someone to provide for her and the children. A woman can't provide for a family on her own."
"And a man can't provide for a family, keep house, and cook. You think you should be able to do it all, but you don't think that she should have had to do it all. Why is that?"
"I'm a man."
Anna's eyes widened in surprise. Had he really just said that to her? "So it's because you're a man that you're able to do more than any woman ever could?" Did he have any idea just how he sounded?
"Well, of course." Jesse watched her face and realized he'd made a mistake. "Well, no, but I couldn't ask her to be unhappy just because I died first."
"But you think she'd ask it of you?"
He thought about
Similar Books
