Mail Order Misfortune by Kirsten Osbourne Page A

that for a moment.  "She'd never have asked it of me.  I ask it of myself."
    "Why?"
    "Why?  Because it's the right thing to do."   Suddenly, he wasn't certain any longer that it was the right thing to do.  Anna made sense, and he didn't much like it.
    "The Bible says you 're free to remarry if your wife dies.  Why do you hold yourself to stricter standards than Jesus would hold you to?"  She wasn't trying to be contrary, but she really didn't understand his reasoning.
    He stood.  "I don't think I can explain it in a way that you'll really understand it."  He couldn't even explain it to himself any longer.  She was shaking his entire belief system, and he wasn't happy about it.
    "I'm going to tell you now that in the unlikely event that you fall in love with me, and I die, I will want you to remarry and fall in love again.  You can't raise Ernie alone.  You need help."  She nodded at the pile of clothing pieces in front of her.  "Did you even realize how badly he needed new clothes?"
    "You can't fault me for that.  I've done my best by him."   He'd noticed the boy's clothes only when they'd gotten ready for church on Sunday mornings.  He'd always promptly forgotten when they returned home.
    Anna nodded emphatically.  "I know you've done your best by him.  God meant for every child to have two parents for a reason.  I don't think men are meant to notice things like their children's clothes.  Women do it without thinking."
    He sighed.  "You may be right."  He turned, feeling like their discussion had been a waste.  She still didn't understand, and he wasn't certain he did any longer either.  "I'll see you in the morning."
    She watched him walk away, wondering if anything she'd said had gotten through to him.  She appreciated how loyal he was, but he took it too far.

Chapter Seven
     
     
    When Anna got up the following morning, she immediately felt a sense of hopelessness.  How was she ever going to be able to convince Jesse that she was good enough for him to love when he'd made his vows to a dead woman?
    She sighed as she quickly dressed and hurried down the stairs, determined to cook for her new family.  Julia had promised to stop by that day, and she was glad she was going to have some time to just sit and talk to her friend.  Yes, Julia was coming so she could help her get the house in order, but she'd done most of that the day before.  More than anything, she needed her friend's company.  If she insisted, they could spend some time working on the new clothes for Ernie, but she wouldn't mind if they just sat and talked.
    She quickly made up dough for bread, before toasting what was left of the bread she had on hand.  She made fried eggs and bacon to go with the toast, and had everything waiting when Jesse and Ernie descended the stairs.
    Jesse took a long look at Anna before he took his spot at the head of the table.  He had been up most of the night thinking about her words, and it looked to him as if she'd been up a great deal of the night as well.  He hated that he was making her feel badly because of his belief that he couldn't love again, but he didn't want to give her false hope.
    After their prayer, he said, "Breakfast looks good."   He smiled at her kindly trying to communicate without words that he was grateful for all she did for him and Ernie.
    She nodded, giving him a half smile.  "I hope it tastes good too."
    "I'm sure it will.  You have a real knack for making anything taste good."  He wasn't just flattering her.  He'd honestly never met a better cook in his life.
    Anna nodded, shrugging slightly.  "I always have.  It was something I was known for back home."   Why was he being so nice all of a sudden?  The man didn't seem to know whether he hated her or wanted to be her best friend.
    Jesse felt something strange happen in his stomach.  He knew that she referred to Massachusetts as her home out of habit, but he didn't want it to be her home.  He wanted her to think