in school. With AIDS added in as a threat, it
simply hadn't seemed worth the risk to have sex simply for the experience.
But she had dreamed. She had dreamed of meeting a man, growing to love him,
making love with him. Simple, universal dreams.
The kidnappers had almost taken all that from her, almost wrecked her dream of loving
a man by abusing her so severely that, if she had remained in their hands much longer, she
knew she would have been so severely traumatized that she might never have been able to
love a man or tolerate his touch. If Zane hadn't taken her out of there, her first sexual
experience would have been one of rape.
No. A thousand times no.
Even if they managed to recapture her, she wouldn't let them murder that dream.
Scrambling to her feet, Barrie took the few steps to where Zane lounged against the
wall. She saw his muscled body come to alertness at her action, though he didn't move. She stood
over him, staring at him with green eyes burning in the dim light. The look he gave her was
hooded, unreadable.
"Make love to me," she said in a raw voice.
Chapter 5
"Barrie..." he began, his tone kind, and she knew he was going to refuse.
"No!" she said fiercely. "Don't tell me I should think about it, or that I really don't
want to do it. I know what I went through with those bastards. I know you don't believe it, but
they didn't rape me. But they looked at me, they touched me, and I couldn't stop them." She
stopped and drew a deep breath, steadying herself. "I'm not stupid. I know we're still in
danger, that you and your men could be wounded or even killed trying to rescue me and that I
could end up back in their hands anyway. I've never made love before, with anyone. I don't want
my first time to be rape, do you understand? I don't want them to have that satisfaction. I want
the first time to be with you."
She had surprised him, she saw, and she had already noticed that Zane Mackenzie
wasn't a man whose expression revealed much of what he was thinking. He sat up straight,
his pale eyes narrowed as he examined her with a piercing gaze.
He was still going to refuse, and she didn't think she could bear it. "I promise," she
blurted desperately. "They didn't do that to me. I can't have any disease, if that's what you're
worried about."
"No," he said, his voice suddenly sounding strained. "That isn't what I'm worried
about."
"Don't make me beg," she pleaded, wringing her hands together, aware that she was
already doing exactly that.
Then the expression in those pale eyes softened, grew warmer. "I won't," he said softly,
and rose to his feet with that powerful, feline grace of his. He towered over her, and for a
moment Barrie felt the difference in their sizes so sharply that she wondered wildly what she
thought she was doing. Then he moved past her to the blanket; he knelt and smoothed it,
then dropped down on it, stretching out on his back, and watched her with a world of
knowledge in his slightly remote, too-old eyes.
He knew. And until she read that knowledge in his eyes, she hadn't even been aware of
what she really needed. But watching him lie down and put himself at her service, something
inside her shattered. He knew. He understood the emotions roiling deep inside her, understood
what had brought her to him with her fierce, startling demand. It wasn't just that she wanted
her first time to be of her own volition, with the man of her choice; the kidnappers had taken
something from her, and he was giving it back. They had tied her down, stripped her, humiliated
her, and she had been helpless to stop them. Zane was giving control back to her, reassuring
her and at the same time subtly letting her exact her vengeance against the male of the species.
She didn't want to lie helpless beneath him. She wanted to control this giving of her body,
wanted things to move at her pace instead of his, wanted to be the one who decided how
much, how far, how fast.
And he was going
simply hadn't seemed worth the risk to have sex simply for the experience.
But she had dreamed. She had dreamed of meeting a man, growing to love him,
making love with him. Simple, universal dreams.
The kidnappers had almost taken all that from her, almost wrecked her dream of loving
a man by abusing her so severely that, if she had remained in their hands much longer, she
knew she would have been so severely traumatized that she might never have been able to
love a man or tolerate his touch. If Zane hadn't taken her out of there, her first sexual
experience would have been one of rape.
No. A thousand times no.
Even if they managed to recapture her, she wouldn't let them murder that dream.
Scrambling to her feet, Barrie took the few steps to where Zane lounged against the
wall. She saw his muscled body come to alertness at her action, though he didn't move. She stood
over him, staring at him with green eyes burning in the dim light. The look he gave her was
hooded, unreadable.
"Make love to me," she said in a raw voice.
Chapter 5
"Barrie..." he began, his tone kind, and she knew he was going to refuse.
"No!" she said fiercely. "Don't tell me I should think about it, or that I really don't
want to do it. I know what I went through with those bastards. I know you don't believe it, but
they didn't rape me. But they looked at me, they touched me, and I couldn't stop them." She
stopped and drew a deep breath, steadying herself. "I'm not stupid. I know we're still in
danger, that you and your men could be wounded or even killed trying to rescue me and that I
could end up back in their hands anyway. I've never made love before, with anyone. I don't want
my first time to be rape, do you understand? I don't want them to have that satisfaction. I want
the first time to be with you."
She had surprised him, she saw, and she had already noticed that Zane Mackenzie
wasn't a man whose expression revealed much of what he was thinking. He sat up straight,
his pale eyes narrowed as he examined her with a piercing gaze.
He was still going to refuse, and she didn't think she could bear it. "I promise," she
blurted desperately. "They didn't do that to me. I can't have any disease, if that's what you're
worried about."
"No," he said, his voice suddenly sounding strained. "That isn't what I'm worried
about."
"Don't make me beg," she pleaded, wringing her hands together, aware that she was
already doing exactly that.
Then the expression in those pale eyes softened, grew warmer. "I won't," he said softly,
and rose to his feet with that powerful, feline grace of his. He towered over her, and for a
moment Barrie felt the difference in their sizes so sharply that she wondered wildly what she
thought she was doing. Then he moved past her to the blanket; he knelt and smoothed it,
then dropped down on it, stretching out on his back, and watched her with a world of
knowledge in his slightly remote, too-old eyes.
He knew. And until she read that knowledge in his eyes, she hadn't even been aware of
what she really needed. But watching him lie down and put himself at her service, something
inside her shattered. He knew. He understood the emotions roiling deep inside her, understood
what had brought her to him with her fierce, startling demand. It wasn't just that she wanted
her first time to be of her own volition, with the man of her choice; the kidnappers had taken
something from her, and he was giving it back. They had tied her down, stripped her, humiliated
her, and she had been helpless to stop them. Zane was giving control back to her, reassuring
her and at the same time subtly letting her exact her vengeance against the male of the species.
She didn't want to lie helpless beneath him. She wanted to control this giving of her body,
wanted things to move at her pace instead of his, wanted to be the one who decided how
much, how far, how fast.
And he was going
Similar Books
