explain why the conversation bothered me. Actually, I had NO idea why it bothered me. I knew I had absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, but retelling of my relationships scared me with Peter. I think I was a little afraid he wouldn't like me anymore if he knew I had had a life before him. Or maybe he'd judge me, or I don't know... something. I just felt closed off and less comfortable with him suddenly.
“Why do you seem so tense right now? I won't judge you Sophie, if that's what you're thinking. Are you in a relationship right now that you're hiding from me?”
“No. Of course not.”
“I didn't think so. So why should your past matter to me?”
“Exactly. Why does it matter to you?” I questioned defensively again.
“It doesn't matter . But I would like to know about you, and that includes the people you've been in relationships with. I want to know what turns you on, and what makes you run away. I certainly don't want, or even need sexual details, but I'd love an overview of what made you happy with them.”
Exhaling, I decided to confess. “Um… Well, I left them all, which either says something good or bad about me... usually, I think good. First there was Darren my high school sweetheart, but I broke up with him when I eventually realized he wasn't strong enough for me. Then there was Derek, my boyfriend in University who didn't feel motivated enough in life, so also not motivated enough for me. And then there was Joseph who was much older and-”
“How much older?” He interrupted.
“20 years exactly.”
“Wow, good for him. A hot young blonde girlfriend,” he smiled.
“No, Joseph wasn't like that. He was calm and cool, and not about appearances. He just loved me because we were companionable. I didn't require much looking after so we were both happy, until I realized he was too comfortable, and I would go without if I stayed any longer. But when we broke up as friends a few months ago, we stayed friends. He actually sent me that Christmas card,” I said pointing to the mantel with cards. “So that's it. My 3 men in a nutshell.”
“Do you realize I said I wanted to know what made you happy with them, and you could only tell me why you left them?”
“Well, I think that's the way it usually is, right? By the end of a relationship the bad always overshadows the good you may have had, otherwise you would stay together.”
“You're right. But I would like to know how they made you happy. Maybe you'll tell me one day?”
“Maybe...” I said looking behind me at the clock.
I think I was suddenly suffering my fight or flight, which usually meant flee. I didn't like to talk about my past, and I rarely divulged personal information, both of which Peter had pulled out of me, however few details that was. So pausing to ground myself I suddenly felt drained.
“Are you tired, Sophie?”
“Yes...”
“May I spend the night with you?”
“Yes...”
“Good. I didn't sleep off my night shift last night so I'm fairly tired myself. Do you have a toothbrush I could use?”
“Sure. I buy my brother a new one almost monthly, so I think there's a packaged green one under the sink.”
“Thanks. I'll meet you back here?” He smiled with his hand on my back.
“Okay,” I agreed jumping up nearly running for my bedroom, which thankfully was perfectly tidy.
Undressing and dressing quickly, I found my 2 piece stars and moons pj bottoms with matching tank top. Throwing them on, I knew I looked comfy without trying for sexy, but the shelf bra in the tank made my boobs look great and kept them where they should be while sleeping, which was a relief.
After Peter exited the bathroom, he checked me out from head to toe then kissed my lips before I could use the washroom myself. Smiling at him as he pulled away, I left him for my own teeth
“Why do you seem so tense right now? I won't judge you Sophie, if that's what you're thinking. Are you in a relationship right now that you're hiding from me?”
“No. Of course not.”
“I didn't think so. So why should your past matter to me?”
“Exactly. Why does it matter to you?” I questioned defensively again.
“It doesn't matter . But I would like to know about you, and that includes the people you've been in relationships with. I want to know what turns you on, and what makes you run away. I certainly don't want, or even need sexual details, but I'd love an overview of what made you happy with them.”
Exhaling, I decided to confess. “Um… Well, I left them all, which either says something good or bad about me... usually, I think good. First there was Darren my high school sweetheart, but I broke up with him when I eventually realized he wasn't strong enough for me. Then there was Derek, my boyfriend in University who didn't feel motivated enough in life, so also not motivated enough for me. And then there was Joseph who was much older and-”
“How much older?” He interrupted.
“20 years exactly.”
“Wow, good for him. A hot young blonde girlfriend,” he smiled.
“No, Joseph wasn't like that. He was calm and cool, and not about appearances. He just loved me because we were companionable. I didn't require much looking after so we were both happy, until I realized he was too comfortable, and I would go without if I stayed any longer. But when we broke up as friends a few months ago, we stayed friends. He actually sent me that Christmas card,” I said pointing to the mantel with cards. “So that's it. My 3 men in a nutshell.”
“Do you realize I said I wanted to know what made you happy with them, and you could only tell me why you left them?”
“Well, I think that's the way it usually is, right? By the end of a relationship the bad always overshadows the good you may have had, otherwise you would stay together.”
“You're right. But I would like to know how they made you happy. Maybe you'll tell me one day?”
“Maybe...” I said looking behind me at the clock.
I think I was suddenly suffering my fight or flight, which usually meant flee. I didn't like to talk about my past, and I rarely divulged personal information, both of which Peter had pulled out of me, however few details that was. So pausing to ground myself I suddenly felt drained.
“Are you tired, Sophie?”
“Yes...”
“May I spend the night with you?”
“Yes...”
“Good. I didn't sleep off my night shift last night so I'm fairly tired myself. Do you have a toothbrush I could use?”
“Sure. I buy my brother a new one almost monthly, so I think there's a packaged green one under the sink.”
“Thanks. I'll meet you back here?” He smiled with his hand on my back.
“Okay,” I agreed jumping up nearly running for my bedroom, which thankfully was perfectly tidy.
Undressing and dressing quickly, I found my 2 piece stars and moons pj bottoms with matching tank top. Throwing them on, I knew I looked comfy without trying for sexy, but the shelf bra in the tank made my boobs look great and kept them where they should be while sleeping, which was a relief.
After Peter exited the bathroom, he checked me out from head to toe then kissed my lips before I could use the washroom myself. Smiling at him as he pulled away, I left him for my own teeth
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