garments lying around. I knew that this was an indicator that Josh had made another horrible mess. He was notorious for this. I walked into my bedroom and was once again immediately pissed. It was one thing for him to get wasted the night that our daughter was born, but it was a whole different playing field to mess up my personal space. I was livid. I screamed at him from the top of the staircase, and told him that he needed to watch the baby so I could clean up his disgusting mess. He obediently complied.
Still recovering from the strenuous process of childbirth, I was on my hands and knees wiping the dirt off the bathroom floor. I gathered all of the trash he had left lying around and was finally able to vacuum. When I was finished getting my bedroom back to normal, I was tortured with painful cramping, followed by gushing blood running down my legs and ruining my new pajama pants that my mom had gotten me just for my recovery. I wanted to have a meltdown, but I was too tired to battle with my OCD any longer. Josh brought Chloe back up to me as I crawled into bed, exhausted. “I wanted to come back and clean up before you came home, I just forgot,” he said with worry in his voice. “Whatever, Josh. Just have some respect in the future. I just had a baby. You never consider important things like that.” I was happy when Josh finally quit babbling apologies and left me alone. By this point, I had learned to turn off his uncontrollable rambling.
Josh had a true case of ADHD, and his most obvious symptom was speaking nonsense for hours on end. Sometimes he just didn’t make sense. I was the one in control, and as long as Josh did as I asked, I truly did not care if he made sense. I did, however, frequently get comments from our peers regarding his conversation style. I knew where people were coming from, but I chose to disregard their input. Josh had good intentions; he was a hard worker and a nice person. As long as he didn’t embarrass me in front of important people, I could deal with it. Josh wasn’t crazy, just often confused.
The first night home from the hospital with my baby wasn’t the easiest. Chloe took four days to learn how to nurse properly, and this meant that I was waking up every few hours when she became frustrated and hungry. After finally getting the hang of it, on both of our ends, caring for my baby quickly became more of a pleasure than work. Chloe was a very calm and content baby. She hardly cried, and when she did, it was always for a feeding or diaper change. Our routine became natural and perfect - that is, as long as Josh was behaving. He had a few nights of trouble, but for the most part, he was on track.
Chapter 15
My mom and I were counting the days to my sixteenth birthday as she was driving me home from my last day of summer school. I wanted to graduate early, so I had hauled Chloe along and raced through my required courses. As the summer nights passed, our home felt smaller and smaller with our new addition taking up more room. Josh also had a new addition of his own. His best friend, James, was devastated about having to leave Tahoe when his parents moved out-of-state for a new job. I hadn’t really seen much of James during my pregnancy. Once Chloe was born, I was more mobile and motivated to get out of the house. The boys became best friends all over again, and James pretty much became a part of the family. We had a spare room in our home, and both Josh and I thought it would be fun to have James around permanently. We offered him the room with my mother’s hesitant permission. He gladly accepted and moved in.
Not long after James moved in, I could tell that my mom was getting tired of putting up with a house full of kids. She wanted and needed her own space back. She asked us what our long-term plans were. Josh and I looked at each other and gave her a shrug. She brought up the marriage topic again. I thought it sounded fun, and Josh
Still recovering from the strenuous process of childbirth, I was on my hands and knees wiping the dirt off the bathroom floor. I gathered all of the trash he had left lying around and was finally able to vacuum. When I was finished getting my bedroom back to normal, I was tortured with painful cramping, followed by gushing blood running down my legs and ruining my new pajama pants that my mom had gotten me just for my recovery. I wanted to have a meltdown, but I was too tired to battle with my OCD any longer. Josh brought Chloe back up to me as I crawled into bed, exhausted. “I wanted to come back and clean up before you came home, I just forgot,” he said with worry in his voice. “Whatever, Josh. Just have some respect in the future. I just had a baby. You never consider important things like that.” I was happy when Josh finally quit babbling apologies and left me alone. By this point, I had learned to turn off his uncontrollable rambling.
Josh had a true case of ADHD, and his most obvious symptom was speaking nonsense for hours on end. Sometimes he just didn’t make sense. I was the one in control, and as long as Josh did as I asked, I truly did not care if he made sense. I did, however, frequently get comments from our peers regarding his conversation style. I knew where people were coming from, but I chose to disregard their input. Josh had good intentions; he was a hard worker and a nice person. As long as he didn’t embarrass me in front of important people, I could deal with it. Josh wasn’t crazy, just often confused.
The first night home from the hospital with my baby wasn’t the easiest. Chloe took four days to learn how to nurse properly, and this meant that I was waking up every few hours when she became frustrated and hungry. After finally getting the hang of it, on both of our ends, caring for my baby quickly became more of a pleasure than work. Chloe was a very calm and content baby. She hardly cried, and when she did, it was always for a feeding or diaper change. Our routine became natural and perfect - that is, as long as Josh was behaving. He had a few nights of trouble, but for the most part, he was on track.
Chapter 15
My mom and I were counting the days to my sixteenth birthday as she was driving me home from my last day of summer school. I wanted to graduate early, so I had hauled Chloe along and raced through my required courses. As the summer nights passed, our home felt smaller and smaller with our new addition taking up more room. Josh also had a new addition of his own. His best friend, James, was devastated about having to leave Tahoe when his parents moved out-of-state for a new job. I hadn’t really seen much of James during my pregnancy. Once Chloe was born, I was more mobile and motivated to get out of the house. The boys became best friends all over again, and James pretty much became a part of the family. We had a spare room in our home, and both Josh and I thought it would be fun to have James around permanently. We offered him the room with my mother’s hesitant permission. He gladly accepted and moved in.
Not long after James moved in, I could tell that my mom was getting tired of putting up with a house full of kids. She wanted and needed her own space back. She asked us what our long-term plans were. Josh and I looked at each other and gave her a shrug. She brought up the marriage topic again. I thought it sounded fun, and Josh
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