Leap of Faith by Fiona McCallum

visit – nothing in the scheme of things.
    She really needed to stop worrying about them, didn’t actually need to do anything about them. But there was a nagging inside her that told her she did have to make some decisions. Perhaps it was just guilt at imposing on Steve. Sure, looking after Prince and Beau would be less onerous without feeds to mix, but he’d still have hay to put out and rugs to change. She didn’t want them looking like unkempt hairy beasts, regardless of what she decided to do.
    Perhaps it was something else. The expense? Yes, but something more.
    Tiffany would say that unless she got a clear sign of what she was meant to do she should stay the course. Just sit tight.
    Or was Sharon Parks showing an interest in buying Prince the sign – that and the fact she was out of action? Jessica gnawed at the inside of her bottom lip.
    â€˜Are you okay?’ Steve asked, putting a mug of coffee and plate of vegemite toast in front of her, startling her slightly.
    â€˜Sorry?’
    â€˜You were miles away.’
    â€˜Hmm.’
    He brought a second mug and plate over and sat down on the opposite couch. ‘What’s got you so thoughtful?’
    â€˜Are you okay with doing the horses? Honestly?’
    â€˜Jessica, it’s fine. I’m fine,’ he said. Jessica detected definite lethargy to his words. She didn’t feel any better for his response. Though what did she expect? That he’d be all beaming and crying, ‘I love doing the horses, what are you talking about?’
    â€˜Don’t you go making rash decisions,’ Steve warned, before taking a long sip from his mug. ‘I’ll admit I won’t be getting into horses myself any time soon, but I’m happy to do it, as I’ve said a million times. In sickness and in health, remember?’ He smiled. ‘So stop those cogs turning. Now,’ he went on, changing the subject abruptly, ‘I was serious about you getting some vitamin D while I go and do groceries – unless you’ve changed your mind about coming along?’
    â€˜No, thanks,’ Jessica said, shaking her head. And I’d rather not be out on the verandah as an invitation to anyone driving past, but I will do it if it makes you happy . She was quite astounded at just how antisocial she was feeling.
    Jessica, with Steve’s help, soon found herself settled out in the sun on the front verandah with a book and everything else she might need. The gentle breeze made it far too chilly for shorts and a T-shirt but her left track pants leg was rolled up to above her knee and her long sleeves were pushed up to her elbow in the hope of getting a few rays of sunshine. She waved to Steve as he drove away, and continued watching his ute making its way down the driveway.
    As he turned out onto the public dirt road and headed towards the highway, she felt a pang of sadness take over her whole body. Loneliness? Surely not; he was only going to be gone a few hours. Or perhaps what she was feeling was a little depressed. Well, she certainly wasn’t feeling ‘up’ so, technically speaking, that would be it.
    Oh for goodness’ sake, you have nothing to be depressed about. You have a wonderful life, an adoring husband and good health. A broken leg is just a temporary condition, a minor setback. You’ll be back on the horses and in top form in a matter of months.
    She looked over at Prince and Beau grazing in their paddocks. But instead of a fierce longing where she’d picture herself making her way around her arena and practice fences, she felt nothing more than when she gazed upon the cattle or sheep: it was a lovely, calming sight, but nothing more than that. With the sheep and cattle she always felt a certain pride in their condition and of course appreciated their value to the farm’s bottom line. Right now, staring at the horses, she felt nothing more than scant affection.
    Was this another sign to