of their business, it was between the two of us. Nobody needs to know whether we do pirouettes in bed or whether we haven’t kissed for months. I thought you were better than that, Tim.” I grip the phone. “I thought you were better than that.”
“I’m sorry.”
“You know what, Tim? Go to hell. Had it never occurred to you that perhaps that day in the pool I didn’t want to do it with you for the same reasons you hadn’t wanted to do it with me for months? Maybe I’m not the kind of woman who makes you want to do crazy things, but you’re not the kind of man who makes me want to get naked and make love in a pool.”
Dead silence.
My God, how could we have both been so stupid?
“Yes, Susan, I’ve thought about it before,” he says, sounding tired.
I realize that part of me worries about him as a friend. But I’m still furious and I’m not going to let him know that I’m worried.
“You shouldn’t have told Mac,” I say to him, slightly calmer this time.
“You’re right. I’m sorry.” Another moment of silence. I can hear him breathe. “How are you?”
“It doesn’t concern you”
“OK, I suppose I deserve that.”
“I suppose.”
This is definitely one of the strangest moments of my life.
“I miss you, Susan,” says Tim, suddenly. “I miss talking to you.”
I feel strange and it’s as if all the tension built up inside starts to loosen a bit. It’s as if a part of me is back to where it needs to be. Tim sounds sincere, but he also sounds like a friend, not like a man in love, at least not like a man in love with me.
“Why did you ask me to marry you?”
I imagine Tim rubbing the bridge of his nose. He always does that when he is uncomfortable.
“Because I thought that with you I’d be able to forget that I was still in love with Amanda.”
“You shouldn’t have settled, Tim.” I grip the phone again. “And you shouldn’t have used me as a substitute. I deserve much better than that.”
“You’re right.”
“I know”
“But you used me too,” he says, and I can sense him smiling.
“What do you mean?”
“You’re very smart, Susan. I’m sure you can figure it out.”
“I don’t like what you’re insinuating one bit,” I hold my breath and release it “Anyway, I hope you find what you’re looking for, Tim. Tell Mac that he doesn’t need to come and see me or bring me chocolates.”
“Mac brought you chocolates?”
“It’s obvious that Tim doesn’t believe me, so I just ignore him.”
“I have to go; they’re waiting for me,” I tell him, assuming that it’s true. At the T.V. station there is always someone looking for me.
“Just a second, Susan, please. I need to tell you something.”
I feel sick to my stomach for a second. I’m not in love with Tim, there is no doubt about that now, but that phrase gives me goose bumps.
“What?” I say, after taking a breath.
“I have a child.”
Of everything that Tim could have said to me that was one thing that hadn’t crossed my mind.
“A child,” I repeat in a whisper.
“I didn’t know when we were together. I didn’t even know when I asked you to marry me,” he feels pressured to say. “I found out that night at L’Escalier.”
That was the message he received on his phone.
“I believe you,” I say without a pause. And I know I really mean it. Despite everything that has happened between the two of us, Tim is telling the truth. Tim is not the type of person who would hide the fact that he has a child. He would be bragging about it every day.
“His name is Jeremy and he’s eleven years old,” he says, and in my mind I imagine Tim like all the other parents who boast about their kids.
“Congratulations,” is the only thing that I can think of to say.
“Thank you,” he sighs, relieved. “No one knows, only Mac. He’s the one who made me tell you.”
Mac made him tell me? Why?
“I have to go,” I say, using the same excuse as always.
“Sure. Thanks for
Alice Munro
Marion Meade
F. Leonora Solomon
C. E. Laureano
Blush
Melissa Haag
R. D. Hero
Jeanette Murray
T. Lynne Tolles
Sara King