Master Score Sheet at the back of this book, page 195.
Chapter 36
Block That Parent
What is wrong with soccer moms and Little League dads? No, no, hang on. Not all of them. I’m talking about the ones you see verbally or physically abusing their kids’ coaches and referees at games.
Hey, sideline moms and baseball dads . . . What is wrong in your life that you have to go and yell at people like that? And know what makes it worse? These coaches are often just volunteering to do this job. These aren’t paid referees. These aren’t paid coaches. These are folks who give of their time so kids get a chance to play a team sport. So why abuse them? If you have a real issue with a coach, report him to the league. You don’t have to stand there screaming at him . . . looking like a freak.
Yeah, a freak. You see, from an onlooker’s perspective, there isn’t anybody who looks so fine doing that. Nobody looks good doing it.
What’s changed here? It used to be when you got into Little League and youth soccer it was all about teaching kids something. Playing and values . . . Teamwork . . . How to be good sports . . . Having fun. I don’t know what it’s about now. I don’t get it. I don’t get why parents don’t see what they’re doing, acting out like they do.
And doesn’t it ever once occur to them that this is not the behavior you want to teach a kid? They get all pissed off when their kid is rude, but their rudeness is OK? . . . Am I the only one not getting this?
Unlike bad stadium behavior, this usually doesn’t involve alcohol. Usually. It’s an ego thing, or about parents living their dreams through their kid . . . whatever. It’s a little sad. Because then the poor kid’s trying to figure out, “Well, is this OK behavior? . . . Must be. My parents are doing it. So then it must be all right if I do it to my sister or I do it to kids at school.” If you are one of these nightmare parents, ask yourself—are you showing your child how to become a bully?
Obviously, this behavior is widespread. Don’t take my word for it. Go to a ball field and look at the signs warning parents how to behave. Think about that. They have to put up signs.
What is happening?
Some soccer leagues have instituted something called Silent Sidelines. They’re trying to deal with parents who can’t contain themselves by making a rule that parents can’t cheer either. I see. That’s the solution to stopping the heckling?
What the hell?! Something’s out of whack here. They’re shutting everybody up because of a handful of pissants? Enjoy your game, kids.
I think this is a better solution. If you’re a player who is belligerent, the consequence should be that you can’t be on the team. If your parents are belligerent, they can’t bring you there to play. Most parents, when faced with the annoyance of their child—complaining because their ridiculous behavior has gotten their kid kicked off the team and unable to play anywhere else for a year—would probably learn to keep their big mouths shut.
If there were consequences for belligerence, would people behave differently? They might . . .
But there aren’t consequences, and so we see this pestilence sort of rolling around the world. People just saying anything they feel like, or behaving any way they feel like. Yelling at the coach, “You’re ignoring my son!!” But there are twelve other kids on the team. Don’t they count?
I think they do. Too bad I’m not the one who needs to know that.
Chapter 37
Self-Test: Sideline Civility
At your child’s game, has anyone asked you to chill, that it’s only a game?
If no, score 0
If yes, score 3
On the sidelines or bleachers, do other parents ever move away from you?
If no, score 0
If yes, score 5
Has your child-athlete ever asked you to stop yelling or not to fight with the other parents?
If no, score 0
If yes, score 5
If more than once, score 10
Did it bother you that your child asked that?
If yes, score
C. J. Cherryh
Learning to Kill: Stories
John O'Riley
Brenda Sinclair
Christopher George
Stephen Lloyd Jones
Karl Iagnemma
Celya Bowers
Jill Gregory
Aria Cunningham