Is It Just Me?: Or is it Nuts Out There? by Whoopi Goldberg Page A
Authors: Whoopi Goldberg
Tags: Autobiography
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anybody the right to come in and throw a brick dressed as a snowball at somebody and think it’s funny? What if they hit him? That’s one player going to the hospital and one fan going to jail.
The hot new summer sport doesn’t seem to be baseball. It’s fans running out onto the field to be Tasered by cops. Why? . . . Really, why??
What makes people think they have the right to leave their house and go to some stadium and be obnoxious?
Stay home.
Who decided a stadium is a free pass? I think a lot of people believe it is. It’s the “If It Happens in Vegas” mentality . . . only in the bleachers.
How about when you’re sitting there and folks show up with all sorts of crap and start spreading it out on the seats like it was a sale? They spread out like they were in their living rooms or Man Caves at home. If you’re one of these people, here’s The Big Question: What gives you the right to go to a stadium and pretend you’re at home? And if you have a Man Cave? You may already be a lost cause.
I bet you don’t pull anything like that at home. I doubt that they would let you. And maybe that’s why you’re moving around to ball parks and stadiums so much. You think that you’re entitled to do it because you paid $490 for a ticket? What about the other people who paid for tickets too? What are they entitled to? What if everybody does it?
It’s nuts.
Now, there are some annoyances at sporting events that you can’t really do anything about. For instance, some folks complain that they don’t like it when people keep getting up and down during the game ’cause they make everybody stand up and move every two minutes. I say, let that one go. It’s annoying, but you don’t know if they have to go to the bathroom or get food or maybe just walk off a leg cramp from being crowded by that guy who spread his crap out all over the row. That’s one we just relax and live with. Choose your battles.
If you want to get angry at someone, save it for the fans who think it’s cute to harass or belittle the food and souvenir vendors . . . giving them demeaning nicknames, or tossing their money so they have to stoop for it. They think it’s funny. But everything’s a little more amusing when you’re buzzed.
Most people don’t know how to drink. I’m going to take a wild guess that these are not the people paying attention to the end of the TV ad where it says, “Enjoy responsibly.”
They enjoy being jerks.
Meanwhile, these stadium vendors are working stiffs. They’re not enjoying a Sunday afternoon in a reserved seat pounding back a cold brew. They’re the ones serving it. Carrying fifty or sixty pounds on their backs, making change while some joker makes fun of them.
I’m a sports fan. I’m supposed to come to this game and enjoy myself and cheer my team. You, however, are not supposed to be throwing things and acting up right next to me. Or leaning over my kid and being rude. You’re not supposed to do that.
I have an idea for a new tradition at the stadium. Throwing out the first drunk.
Chapter 35
Self-Test: Stadium Behavior
Have you ever been involved in an altercation with another fan at a sporting event?
If no, score 0
If once, score 2
If more than once, score 5
Have you ever been spoken to by stadium security about your drinking, swearing, or rowdiness?
If no, score 0
If yes, score 5
If you don’t remember, score 10
If stadium security cautioned you, did it bother you that they did?
If yes, score 0
If no, score 5
Have you ever thrown an object onto the field (or floor or ice)?
If no, score 0
If yes, score 5
Have you ever been asked to leave a sporting event because your behavior was disruptive to other fans?
If no, score 0
If yes, score 5
If more than once, score 10
Did you care?
If yes, score 0
If no, score 5
If someone disrupted your time at the game, would it bother you?
If yes, score 0
If no, score 5
Total score: ______
Tally your score and write it in on the
The hot new summer sport doesn’t seem to be baseball. It’s fans running out onto the field to be Tasered by cops. Why? . . . Really, why??
What makes people think they have the right to leave their house and go to some stadium and be obnoxious?
Stay home.
Who decided a stadium is a free pass? I think a lot of people believe it is. It’s the “If It Happens in Vegas” mentality . . . only in the bleachers.
How about when you’re sitting there and folks show up with all sorts of crap and start spreading it out on the seats like it was a sale? They spread out like they were in their living rooms or Man Caves at home. If you’re one of these people, here’s The Big Question: What gives you the right to go to a stadium and pretend you’re at home? And if you have a Man Cave? You may already be a lost cause.
I bet you don’t pull anything like that at home. I doubt that they would let you. And maybe that’s why you’re moving around to ball parks and stadiums so much. You think that you’re entitled to do it because you paid $490 for a ticket? What about the other people who paid for tickets too? What are they entitled to? What if everybody does it?
It’s nuts.
Now, there are some annoyances at sporting events that you can’t really do anything about. For instance, some folks complain that they don’t like it when people keep getting up and down during the game ’cause they make everybody stand up and move every two minutes. I say, let that one go. It’s annoying, but you don’t know if they have to go to the bathroom or get food or maybe just walk off a leg cramp from being crowded by that guy who spread his crap out all over the row. That’s one we just relax and live with. Choose your battles.
If you want to get angry at someone, save it for the fans who think it’s cute to harass or belittle the food and souvenir vendors . . . giving them demeaning nicknames, or tossing their money so they have to stoop for it. They think it’s funny. But everything’s a little more amusing when you’re buzzed.
Most people don’t know how to drink. I’m going to take a wild guess that these are not the people paying attention to the end of the TV ad where it says, “Enjoy responsibly.”
They enjoy being jerks.
Meanwhile, these stadium vendors are working stiffs. They’re not enjoying a Sunday afternoon in a reserved seat pounding back a cold brew. They’re the ones serving it. Carrying fifty or sixty pounds on their backs, making change while some joker makes fun of them.
I’m a sports fan. I’m supposed to come to this game and enjoy myself and cheer my team. You, however, are not supposed to be throwing things and acting up right next to me. Or leaning over my kid and being rude. You’re not supposed to do that.
I have an idea for a new tradition at the stadium. Throwing out the first drunk.
Chapter 35
Self-Test: Stadium Behavior
Have you ever been involved in an altercation with another fan at a sporting event?
If no, score 0
If once, score 2
If more than once, score 5
Have you ever been spoken to by stadium security about your drinking, swearing, or rowdiness?
If no, score 0
If yes, score 5
If you don’t remember, score 10
If stadium security cautioned you, did it bother you that they did?
If yes, score 0
If no, score 5
Have you ever thrown an object onto the field (or floor or ice)?
If no, score 0
If yes, score 5
Have you ever been asked to leave a sporting event because your behavior was disruptive to other fans?
If no, score 0
If yes, score 5
If more than once, score 10
Did you care?
If yes, score 0
If no, score 5
If someone disrupted your time at the game, would it bother you?
If yes, score 0
If no, score 5
Total score: ______
Tally your score and write it in on the
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