Instant Orgasm: Excitement at First Touch by steve bodansky Page B

Again, it is important to size up your partner to determine what kind of communication works best. In the same way that women appreciate confident givers of plea- sure, many men like it when their partners are sure of themselves and com- municate accordingly. When a woman is giving me pleasure I prefer that she take control of my body and the situation, allowing me just to lie back and feel and occasionally acknowledge my pleasure. Of course, most people have to first be trained to touch you where and how you want them to. Once a woman is trained, I know that I like for her to touch my penis as if she owned it and knew what she was doing, and also to communicate with me that she is thor- oughly enjoying what she is doing.
She can tell me to feel more. She can say that she is going to go faster or use more pressure or whatever. In this way I do not have to worry about whether she knows what she is doing. She can tell me that she knows she could squirt me in five strokes but is not going to, or that she is going for the final peak now. She can say things like “I’ve got you,” “You are under my control,” and “I can take you whenever or wherever I want to.”
A woman can find out if her guy is a leg man or a breast man or a butt man. She can play with fantasy and tell him that she is squeezing his penis between her thighs or against her breast or, if he likes feet, that she is rubbing his penis between her feet and calves. One time, while a woman was giving me pleasure, she said that she was going to rub my cock between her thighs and finish me off with her calves. This really made me go higher in intensity and enjoyment. Whatever it is that turns your man on can be used to produce more fun and pleasure.
If she thinks she would enjoy it, she can even do these things while she talks about them, such as rubbing his penis with her calves or thighs or breast. Sometimes the mere suggestion of something is as good as or even better than the activity itself. The fantasy may be difficult to actually perform, may be im- practical, or may be less fun than the suggestion. For instance, if a woman has razor stubble on her legs, the act of rubbing her guy’s penis between her calves will not be as pleasurable for him as the suggestion of doing so.
Through the power of imagination, you can even bring other people into the sex act without having their actual bodies in the room. Sometimes when Vera is pleasuring me she may bring up the name of some other woman whom she knows I find sexy and talk about having that woman do things to me.
Words are incredibly powerful tools, and boosting one’s skill at communi- cating in bed will make the difference between being an okay lover and being a fantastic one.
     
Y Asking for What You Want Z
It is so important to know what you like and to have the communication skills to ask for it to be done exactly the way you want it. You can enjoy surrender- ing yourself to the whim of your partner and letting them do as they see fit, but lovemaking is even more fun for everyone if partners can express their specific desires. For instance, if you feel extra sensitive today, let your partner know. If you want to be touched faster or slower or harder or whatever, even if you have already trained your partner, ask for it in a polite way, as we outlined in the sections on training your partner.
Here’s a simple example of the importance of clearly communicating one’s desires instead of beating around the bush. Vera and I were coming home from a long day’s outing, and she asked if I wanted to go upstairs first or get the mail. I said I’d like to go upstairs first. Then she said she wanted to get the mail first, which caused me to feel in some small way like I’d lost. Instead of asking me what I wanted and then overriding it, she could have just said that she wanted to get the mail before going upstairs, allowing us both to win. This situation didn’t carry much charge, of course, but it’s that