it takes only one person to either request what they want or to ask the right questions. The training can therefore be done from ei- ther side—from the position of receiver or giver of pleasure. However, when both partners are communicating at the same time, the training will become more effective and will happen faster. The person receiving the pleasure will be giving lots of acknowledgments and requesting exactly what they want, and the person giving the pleasure will take control by asking simple yes-or- no questions. The result will be a more precise and quicker discovery of ex- actly how to gratify the person who is being pleasured.
This is an excellent way to practice feeling that first stroke by limiting the number of strokes requested each time, as described above. The person giving the pleasure wants to learn to take control and will decide how many strokes to use and where to begin, preferably using only one and by placing their hand near but not touching the clitoris or penis. Then the person receiving can re- spond by expressing appreciation and perhaps asking for a specific stroke.
The back-and-forth conversation will make the experience more fun and fulfilling, and both partners will learn from it. At some point you will both be able to feel more on the first stroke, and hopefully your partner will be trained to touch you just the way you want to be touched. This means that after a while you will no longer have to put so much effort into training; you can just let
your partner take control of your nervous system. It does not mean that you
can stop appreciating and approving of your partner; this is as important as ever, especially for you and also somewhat for your partner. Likewise, as the pleasure giver, once you are trained with a specific partner you may no longer have to ask as many yes-or-no questions; however, you still want to take con- trol by letting them know what is happening in their body. Also, continue re- porting all signs of pleasure in your own body.
Y Requests, Suggestions, Commands Z
To give immense pleasure to another person you must pay conscious and con- tinual attention to your communication skills. As we have stated, in order for the person receiving pleasure to fully surrender, the person giving the plea- sure must assume control—or at least the semblance of control. Here’s what we mean by “semblance of control”: The pleasure giver, even though they are the one in control, is still responding to the pleasure recipient. Every orgasm is really determined by the individual who is receiving the attention. As the
pleasure giver, we can only suggest that the recipient allow more pleasure; we
cannot force them to. Yet this gives us a great deal of leeway and allows us to play with the one being pleasured to a large degree. You have to know whom you are dealing with to implement the best strategy for applying control. What is the best way to talk to this person? What kind of influence will they respond to? Some people really like it when you tell them rather forcefully what to do, while others prefer a more gentle, coaxing approach. If you talk harshly to someone who resists and resents this kind of speech, then you will fail at giv- ing them more pleasure. Conversely, if you speak gently to someone who likes rough talk, again you will have missed an opportunity.
Most people like to hear that they are doing well and are being fun, so as long as you can truthfully acknowledge anything positive you’ve noticed, it is
a good idea to do so. On the other hand, if your partner is being resistant or is obviously not being, or having, fun, it is time to talk, ask questions, and get to the bottom of the problem.
When we work with a student, we want to produce the most pleasure in her body that we can. This often requires that we give her suggestions on how to do better. We may ask her to feel more, to take it higher, to give it up, to relax her body—whatever we think will work. As soon
This is an excellent way to practice feeling that first stroke by limiting the number of strokes requested each time, as described above. The person giving the pleasure wants to learn to take control and will decide how many strokes to use and where to begin, preferably using only one and by placing their hand near but not touching the clitoris or penis. Then the person receiving can re- spond by expressing appreciation and perhaps asking for a specific stroke.
The back-and-forth conversation will make the experience more fun and fulfilling, and both partners will learn from it. At some point you will both be able to feel more on the first stroke, and hopefully your partner will be trained to touch you just the way you want to be touched. This means that after a while you will no longer have to put so much effort into training; you can just let
your partner take control of your nervous system. It does not mean that you
can stop appreciating and approving of your partner; this is as important as ever, especially for you and also somewhat for your partner. Likewise, as the pleasure giver, once you are trained with a specific partner you may no longer have to ask as many yes-or-no questions; however, you still want to take con- trol by letting them know what is happening in their body. Also, continue re- porting all signs of pleasure in your own body.
Y Requests, Suggestions, Commands Z
To give immense pleasure to another person you must pay conscious and con- tinual attention to your communication skills. As we have stated, in order for the person receiving pleasure to fully surrender, the person giving the plea- sure must assume control—or at least the semblance of control. Here’s what we mean by “semblance of control”: The pleasure giver, even though they are the one in control, is still responding to the pleasure recipient. Every orgasm is really determined by the individual who is receiving the attention. As the
pleasure giver, we can only suggest that the recipient allow more pleasure; we
cannot force them to. Yet this gives us a great deal of leeway and allows us to play with the one being pleasured to a large degree. You have to know whom you are dealing with to implement the best strategy for applying control. What is the best way to talk to this person? What kind of influence will they respond to? Some people really like it when you tell them rather forcefully what to do, while others prefer a more gentle, coaxing approach. If you talk harshly to someone who resists and resents this kind of speech, then you will fail at giv- ing them more pleasure. Conversely, if you speak gently to someone who likes rough talk, again you will have missed an opportunity.
Most people like to hear that they are doing well and are being fun, so as long as you can truthfully acknowledge anything positive you’ve noticed, it is
a good idea to do so. On the other hand, if your partner is being resistant or is obviously not being, or having, fun, it is time to talk, ask questions, and get to the bottom of the problem.
When we work with a student, we want to produce the most pleasure in her body that we can. This often requires that we give her suggestions on how to do better. We may ask her to feel more, to take it higher, to give it up, to relax her body—whatever we think will work. As soon
Similar Books
