grabbed my hand, held it tightly and turned his head to stare out of the window, wordless, all the way back. I felt like there was some massive divide between us all of a sudden, yet at the same time I could feel the sexual need that was radiating off both of us too. I felt confused, yet also lightheaded and dizzy as I looked at his serious handsome face in the reflection of the car window.
He weaved his fingers in mine as we made our way to the bedroom, my chest was rising and falling rapidly at the thought of us having sex, and I could see his was, yet still there was an atmosphere in the air that wasn’t exactly making me feel at ease about the whole situation.
‘Ok?’ he frowned as I swayed. I gulped and nodded and he led me to the bed, then backed away from me and cocked his head, studying me with a serious look on his face. ‘Are you really sure about this?’
‘Yes,’ I whispered, totally puzzled as his seeming reluctance.
‘Then tonight you’re in control, Mia. You’re going to give the orders, you’ll direct me as to what you want. I want you to take your time and you’ll be on top so that you don’t panic having me on top of you and you’ll stop the minute you feel uncomfortable.’
‘I think this is known as topping from the bottom, Gabe,’ I teased.
‘I’m trying to help. I want you to feel in charge.’
‘I know that, but us discussing it is kind of taking the spontaneity out of it.’
‘I just think we need to take baby steps, Mia. You need to start carefully.’
‘Gabe,’ I sighed. ‘I don’t need to be handled with kid gloves.’
‘Well, that’s how I want to do this,’ he said firmly as he ran a hand through his hair.
‘Well, it’s not how I want to do this.’
‘Sorry Mia, but it’s my way or not at all.’ He put his hands on his hips as he gave me his don’t fuck with me look.
‘So really I’m not in control at all tonight, am I? Why tell me that I can direct you if you’re just going to insist we do it the way that you want to?’
‘I don’t want to fight, Mia. I’m just trying to make this easier for you, to be considerate,’ he replied as he shrugged off his jacket and tossed it over the back of a chair and started unbuttoning his shirt sleeves.
‘I don’t want to fight either, but this suddenly feels a bit clinical.’
‘Clinical?’ he frowned.
‘Yes, you over there, me here, you all calm and unfeeling. You’re never like this when we’re about to have sex.’
‘This is different,’ he shrugged as he moved to start undoing the buttons on his chest.
‘This is different, or I’m different?’
‘Mia, don’t make this harder than it already is.’
‘So now it’s hard for you? It’s hard to want sex with me?’ I looked at him feeling really confused and hurt. What the hell was going on here?
‘That’s not what I meant. Please just follow my directions.’
‘I don’t want sex like this, not with a set of clinical rules,’ I objected.
‘I think this is the best way.’
‘Well, if it’s your way or not at all then I’m voting for not at all.’
‘So after all the bloody fuss, now you’re telling me that you don’t want sex?’ he asked as he dropped his shirt.
‘I want you, this isn’t you.’
‘I’m trying to be fair. You’re traumatised.’
‘I was traumatised Gabe, it’s been weeks. I think it’s you that’s got the problem now, not me.’
‘I’ve got the problem?’ he uttered.
‘Yes. You were all kind, gentle and respectful the first week or two, not making me feel pressured, which was what I needed then, but I’ve been telling you for the last few weeks that I’m fine. Sexually I’m fine Gabe, and you’re not listening to me.’
‘So do as I suggest and we can get it over with.’
‘Get it over with?’ I gasped as I put my hands on my hips and glared at him. ‘Like I’m some bloody chore? Something you need to tick off your to do list and move onto the next item?’
‘That’s not
He weaved his fingers in mine as we made our way to the bedroom, my chest was rising and falling rapidly at the thought of us having sex, and I could see his was, yet still there was an atmosphere in the air that wasn’t exactly making me feel at ease about the whole situation.
‘Ok?’ he frowned as I swayed. I gulped and nodded and he led me to the bed, then backed away from me and cocked his head, studying me with a serious look on his face. ‘Are you really sure about this?’
‘Yes,’ I whispered, totally puzzled as his seeming reluctance.
‘Then tonight you’re in control, Mia. You’re going to give the orders, you’ll direct me as to what you want. I want you to take your time and you’ll be on top so that you don’t panic having me on top of you and you’ll stop the minute you feel uncomfortable.’
‘I think this is known as topping from the bottom, Gabe,’ I teased.
‘I’m trying to help. I want you to feel in charge.’
‘I know that, but us discussing it is kind of taking the spontaneity out of it.’
‘I just think we need to take baby steps, Mia. You need to start carefully.’
‘Gabe,’ I sighed. ‘I don’t need to be handled with kid gloves.’
‘Well, that’s how I want to do this,’ he said firmly as he ran a hand through his hair.
‘Well, it’s not how I want to do this.’
‘Sorry Mia, but it’s my way or not at all.’ He put his hands on his hips as he gave me his don’t fuck with me look.
‘So really I’m not in control at all tonight, am I? Why tell me that I can direct you if you’re just going to insist we do it the way that you want to?’
‘I don’t want to fight, Mia. I’m just trying to make this easier for you, to be considerate,’ he replied as he shrugged off his jacket and tossed it over the back of a chair and started unbuttoning his shirt sleeves.
‘I don’t want to fight either, but this suddenly feels a bit clinical.’
‘Clinical?’ he frowned.
‘Yes, you over there, me here, you all calm and unfeeling. You’re never like this when we’re about to have sex.’
‘This is different,’ he shrugged as he moved to start undoing the buttons on his chest.
‘This is different, or I’m different?’
‘Mia, don’t make this harder than it already is.’
‘So now it’s hard for you? It’s hard to want sex with me?’ I looked at him feeling really confused and hurt. What the hell was going on here?
‘That’s not what I meant. Please just follow my directions.’
‘I don’t want sex like this, not with a set of clinical rules,’ I objected.
‘I think this is the best way.’
‘Well, if it’s your way or not at all then I’m voting for not at all.’
‘So after all the bloody fuss, now you’re telling me that you don’t want sex?’ he asked as he dropped his shirt.
‘I want you, this isn’t you.’
‘I’m trying to be fair. You’re traumatised.’
‘I was traumatised Gabe, it’s been weeks. I think it’s you that’s got the problem now, not me.’
‘I’ve got the problem?’ he uttered.
‘Yes. You were all kind, gentle and respectful the first week or two, not making me feel pressured, which was what I needed then, but I’ve been telling you for the last few weeks that I’m fine. Sexually I’m fine Gabe, and you’re not listening to me.’
‘So do as I suggest and we can get it over with.’
‘Get it over with?’ I gasped as I put my hands on my hips and glared at him. ‘Like I’m some bloody chore? Something you need to tick off your to do list and move onto the next item?’
‘That’s not
Similar Books
