thought it of you, Jake.”
“Johann, Johann!”
“Do you mean to keep me locked up forever? If not, what’s the price to turn me loose? Is the Judge in on it? And Hedrick?”
Salomon controlled himself. “Please, Johann, let me speak. I’m going to pretend that you never said what you did say . . . and I’ll have a transcript of the proceedings brought here for you to see. Hell, I’ll have the Judge himself fetch them. But you’ve got to listen.”
“I’m listening. How can I help listening?—I’m a prisoner.”
“Johann, you will cease being a ward as soon as you are able to appear in court—in person—and convince the Judge—Judge McCampbell, it is, an honest man as you know—convince McCampbell that you are no longer non compos mentis . He took the step reluctantly—and I had to fight to be named your guardian, as I was not the petitioner.”
“So? And who asked to have me committed?”
“Johanna Darlington Seward, et aliae —meaning your other three granddaughters, too.”
“I see,” Johann said slowly. “Jake, I owe you an apology.”
Salomon snorted. “For what? How can you do or say anything calling for an apology when you are legally non compos mentis?”
“Whew! Hand me the traditional piece of snuff; that was razor sharp. Dear little Johanna—I should have drowned her at birth. Her mother, my daughter Evelyn, used to shove her into my lap and remind me that she was my namesake. Jake, the only thing that brat ever did for me was to pee on my trousers—on purpose. So June and Marla and Elinor are in it, too. Not surprising.”
“Johann, they darn near made it. I had to resort to everything short of treason to get it into Judge McCampbell’s court. Even then, only the fact that I have held your general power of attorney for an unbroken fifteen years kept the Court from naming Mrs. Seward as guardian and conservator. That and one other thing.”
“What other thing?”
“Their stupidity. If they had shot for guardianship right off, they might have made it. Instead their first move was to try to have you declared legally dead.”
“Well! Jake, do you suppose—later—that I can cut them out of my will entirely?”
“You can do better than that; you can outlive them. Now.”
“Mmm, yes, I suppose I can. I will! It’ll be a pleasure.”
“That move wasn’t serious, just stupid. Stupid lawyer. Took four days for the expert witnesses to unwind, took the Court four minutes to rule in accordance with ‘Estate of Parsons v. Rhode Island.’ Hoped I had seen the last of them then; that diploma-mill shyster seemed pretty cowed. Then Parkinson got into it . . . and his lawyer is not stupid.”
“ ‘Parkinson’? Our boy Parky, our idiot ex-director?”
“The same.”
“Hmm. Von Ritter was right; it doesn’t pay to humiliate a man. But how could Parky show an interest?”
“He didn’t. That Parkinson put them up to it is simply a conclusion but a firm one—Parkinson’s mother-in-law’s lawyer and Parkinson himself present every day in court, a happy spectator. Johann, I didn’t dare ask that the matter be continued during your recovery; our own expert witnesses were unwilling to testify that you would ever be yourself again, able to manage your own affairs. So we stipulated your temporary lack of competence—surprised ‘em, caught ’em unprepared—and I had our attorney move that I be appointed your guardian pro tem. Made it. But Johann, as soon as this was in the wind I started shuffling stock around. For several weeks Teal held a big chunk of your voting stock—Teal is okay; you made a good choice—Teal held all of your stock that I now hold, using money I lent him. An open transaction that could be verified, none of this ‘ten dollars and other valuable considerations’ dodge. During that period, your stock that I had sold to Teal using my money, plus Teal’s stock that he already had, plus what I have long held, was voting control . . . because I
“Johann, Johann!”
“Do you mean to keep me locked up forever? If not, what’s the price to turn me loose? Is the Judge in on it? And Hedrick?”
Salomon controlled himself. “Please, Johann, let me speak. I’m going to pretend that you never said what you did say . . . and I’ll have a transcript of the proceedings brought here for you to see. Hell, I’ll have the Judge himself fetch them. But you’ve got to listen.”
“I’m listening. How can I help listening?—I’m a prisoner.”
“Johann, you will cease being a ward as soon as you are able to appear in court—in person—and convince the Judge—Judge McCampbell, it is, an honest man as you know—convince McCampbell that you are no longer non compos mentis . He took the step reluctantly—and I had to fight to be named your guardian, as I was not the petitioner.”
“So? And who asked to have me committed?”
“Johanna Darlington Seward, et aliae —meaning your other three granddaughters, too.”
“I see,” Johann said slowly. “Jake, I owe you an apology.”
Salomon snorted. “For what? How can you do or say anything calling for an apology when you are legally non compos mentis?”
“Whew! Hand me the traditional piece of snuff; that was razor sharp. Dear little Johanna—I should have drowned her at birth. Her mother, my daughter Evelyn, used to shove her into my lap and remind me that she was my namesake. Jake, the only thing that brat ever did for me was to pee on my trousers—on purpose. So June and Marla and Elinor are in it, too. Not surprising.”
“Johann, they darn near made it. I had to resort to everything short of treason to get it into Judge McCampbell’s court. Even then, only the fact that I have held your general power of attorney for an unbroken fifteen years kept the Court from naming Mrs. Seward as guardian and conservator. That and one other thing.”
“What other thing?”
“Their stupidity. If they had shot for guardianship right off, they might have made it. Instead their first move was to try to have you declared legally dead.”
“Well! Jake, do you suppose—later—that I can cut them out of my will entirely?”
“You can do better than that; you can outlive them. Now.”
“Mmm, yes, I suppose I can. I will! It’ll be a pleasure.”
“That move wasn’t serious, just stupid. Stupid lawyer. Took four days for the expert witnesses to unwind, took the Court four minutes to rule in accordance with ‘Estate of Parsons v. Rhode Island.’ Hoped I had seen the last of them then; that diploma-mill shyster seemed pretty cowed. Then Parkinson got into it . . . and his lawyer is not stupid.”
“ ‘Parkinson’? Our boy Parky, our idiot ex-director?”
“The same.”
“Hmm. Von Ritter was right; it doesn’t pay to humiliate a man. But how could Parky show an interest?”
“He didn’t. That Parkinson put them up to it is simply a conclusion but a firm one—Parkinson’s mother-in-law’s lawyer and Parkinson himself present every day in court, a happy spectator. Johann, I didn’t dare ask that the matter be continued during your recovery; our own expert witnesses were unwilling to testify that you would ever be yourself again, able to manage your own affairs. So we stipulated your temporary lack of competence—surprised ‘em, caught ’em unprepared—and I had our attorney move that I be appointed your guardian pro tem. Made it. But Johann, as soon as this was in the wind I started shuffling stock around. For several weeks Teal held a big chunk of your voting stock—Teal is okay; you made a good choice—Teal held all of your stock that I now hold, using money I lent him. An open transaction that could be verified, none of this ‘ten dollars and other valuable considerations’ dodge. During that period, your stock that I had sold to Teal using my money, plus Teal’s stock that he already had, plus what I have long held, was voting control . . . because I