How to Help a Friend in an Abusive Relationship: What You Need to Know About Domestic Violence by Donna J. Farris

 
     
     
How to Help a Friend in an Abusive Relationship
What You Need to Know About Domestic Violence
By Donna J. Farris
    Smashwords Edition
     
    Copyright 2011 Donna J. Farris
     
    Ebook cover
    Image of frightened woman: Copyright
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    Smashwords Edition, License
Notes
     
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    Dedication
    This book is dedicated to those with the
courage to help a friend in need.
     
     
    Table of Contents
    Introduction
    Chapter 1 - Statistics on
Domestic Violence
    Chapter 2 - Factual
Answers to Frequently Asked Questions
    Chapter 3 - What the
Bible Says About Domestic Violence
    Chapter 4 - Practical Ways to
Help a Friend
    Conclusion
     
     
    Introduction
    In addressing the
complex and often perplexing issues that permeate the subject of
domestic violence our best insights often come by simply listening
to the victims. Consider the following true quotes from abused
women:
    1- “Six weeks after I married my
husband, I discovered he had a cruel, violent streak. His angry
outbursts (such as throwing a pan through the sliding glass door in
the kitchen, habitually kicking the dog, his endless ranting and
ravings about simple inconveniences, and his frightening threats to
hurt me or the kids) got progressively worse until I left one
night. But he followed me and tried to force my car off the road.
Our newborn son was in the back seat...The church we had been
attending encouraged me to submit to his authority and return home
so I returned. Despite weeks of pastoral counsel, the violence
seemed to get worse. I finally decided to leave for good. Now the
church doesn’t want to help me because no one wants to alienate
him. I don’t know how I will be able to raise our three children on
my salary of eleven hundred dollars a month.”
    2- “Unless you’ve been there, you don’t
know what it’s like. For about three years now, my husband has
slapped me across the face, dragged me across the room by my hair,
and refused to allow me to leave the house alone even to go grocery
shopping. I am a virtual prisoner in my own home. He has brutally
raped me on several occasions. We’ve talked to preachers and
counselors who said I should try and make my husband happy while he
was trying to find himself as a man. They said things would get
better. Then they told my husband that if I divorced him, I would
go to hell for sinning against God’s will for marriage. But no one
addressed his abuse. All they said was, ‘have faith in God and
everything will be ok.’”
    3- “My husband professes to be a
Christian. I used to believe him, but I don’t know anymore. The
physical abuse is just the tip of the iceberg. It’s the emotional
part that’s the most painful. He is always telling me I’m in sin;
that I’m not submissive like I’m supposed to be; that I’m
emotionally disturbed and crazy... He is always quoting the Bible
to prove how wrong I am...He is very controlling. He keeps all the
money and I have to go to him for even the smallest things like
shoestrings...[People talk about how it] becomes harder and harder
for women to leave because they get worn down and exhausted from
dealing with the situation and the brainwashing that goes on, and
it is brainwashing. After a while I begin to question myself about
whether his accusations about me are correct. I’m always thinking,
‘What if he’s right?’...No one in my circle of friends or
acquaintances calls me anymore, and no one at church even wants to
sit with me. They all believe his side of the story. I feel so
alone…some