How to Help a Friend in an Abusive Relationship: What You Need to Know About Domestic Violence by Donna J. Farris Page B
Authors: Donna J. Farris
Tags: Bible, domestic violence, Women's Issues, abusive relationships, hope, god loves you, physical abuse, helping a friend, stories of abuse
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batterers. [ Remarks to the Task
Force on Child Abuse and Neglect, Senator Barbara Hart, Esquire
Magazine, April, 1992.]
***The National Clearing House for the
Defense of Battered women reports that divorced and separated women
are battered fourteen times as often as women still living with
their partners and account for 75% of all battered women. [Legislative History of S.B. 924, 1995, passed into law as
California Code of Civil Procedure, as reported in the book, Stop Domestic Violence - an Acton Plan for Saving Lives , Lou
Brown, Francios Dubau, and Merritt McKeon, St Martin Press,
1997.]
***The National Coalition against Domestic
Violence says that for every woman who is admitted into a shelter,
two are turned away; a number that more than doubles in some urban
areas. [ Broken and Battered , Muriel Canfield, Howard
Publishing Company, 2000.]
***Violence will occur at least once in fifty
percent of all marriages. [Colorado Coalition Against Domestic
Violence Fact Sheet, 1998, website: www.psynet.net/ccav]
***Roughly every other married woman will at
some point in her marriage experience at least one incident of
physical violence at the hands of her husband. [ Battered
Into Submission , James and Phyllis Alsdurf, Wipf and Stock
Publishers, 1998.]
***In the United States, fifty percent of all
homeless women and children are on the streets because they have
fled from an abusive living situation. [ Legal Reform Efforts
for Battered Women , report by Elizabeth Schneider,
self-published, 1990.]
***Women who leave their batterers are at a
75 percent greater risk of being killed by the batterer than are
those who stay. [ Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them, Paul Hegstrom, Beacon Hill Press, Kansas City, MO,1999.]
***Women of all cultures, races, occupations,
income levels, and ages are battered by husbands, boyfriends,
lovers and partners. [ Domestic Violence: Battered Women ,
Surgeon General Antonia Novello, a publication of the Reference
Department of the Cambridge Public Library, Cambridge, MA.]
***The American family and the American home
are perhaps more violent than any other single American institution
or setting with the exception of the military in time of war. [ Behind Closed Doors: Violence in the American Family , Murray A. Straus, Richard J. Gelles, and Suzanne K.
Steinmetz, Anchor Press, New York, NY, 1981.]
The Abuser:
***In almost every instance, outside
intervention is needed to stop the abuse. Even if confronted by
family or friends about his need for treatment, few violators will
stay in a treatment program without a court order. In order to
change their behavior pattern, they need help to see that violent
behavior is abnormal. [ Abuse in the Family , Karen Burton
Mains, David C. Cook Publishing Co., 1987.]
***Violence is used by the perpetrator in a
relationship as a means to gain control over the victim. [ Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them , Paul Hegstrom,
Beacon Hill Press, Kansas City, MO, 1999.]
***About one-third of the men counseled for
battering at Emerge are professional men who are well respected in
their jobs and their communities. These include doctors,
psychologists, lawyers, ministers, and business executives. [ For Shelter and Beyond , Massachusetts Coalition of Battered
Women Service Groups, Boston, MA, 1990.]
***Weapons are used in thirty percent of
domestic violence incidents. [ Special Report: Family
Violence , P. Claus and M. Ranel, United States Bureau of
Justice Statistics, article undated.]
***According to a report from United States
Senator Barbara Boxer on September 2, 1993, nine-tenths of all
family violence defendants are never prosecuted, and one third of
the cases that would be considered felonies, if committed by
strangers, are filed as misdemeanors. [ Angry Men and the
Women Who Love Them , Paul Hegstrom, Beacon Hill Press, Kansas
City, MO,1999.]
***All studies indicate that battering is
learned behavior. Between sixty and eighty percent of batterers
grew up
Force on Child Abuse and Neglect, Senator Barbara Hart, Esquire
Magazine, April, 1992.]
***The National Clearing House for the
Defense of Battered women reports that divorced and separated women
are battered fourteen times as often as women still living with
their partners and account for 75% of all battered women. [Legislative History of S.B. 924, 1995, passed into law as
California Code of Civil Procedure, as reported in the book, Stop Domestic Violence - an Acton Plan for Saving Lives , Lou
Brown, Francios Dubau, and Merritt McKeon, St Martin Press,
1997.]
***The National Coalition against Domestic
Violence says that for every woman who is admitted into a shelter,
two are turned away; a number that more than doubles in some urban
areas. [ Broken and Battered , Muriel Canfield, Howard
Publishing Company, 2000.]
***Violence will occur at least once in fifty
percent of all marriages. [Colorado Coalition Against Domestic
Violence Fact Sheet, 1998, website: www.psynet.net/ccav]
***Roughly every other married woman will at
some point in her marriage experience at least one incident of
physical violence at the hands of her husband. [ Battered
Into Submission , James and Phyllis Alsdurf, Wipf and Stock
Publishers, 1998.]
***In the United States, fifty percent of all
homeless women and children are on the streets because they have
fled from an abusive living situation. [ Legal Reform Efforts
for Battered Women , report by Elizabeth Schneider,
self-published, 1990.]
***Women who leave their batterers are at a
75 percent greater risk of being killed by the batterer than are
those who stay. [ Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them, Paul Hegstrom, Beacon Hill Press, Kansas City, MO,1999.]
***Women of all cultures, races, occupations,
income levels, and ages are battered by husbands, boyfriends,
lovers and partners. [ Domestic Violence: Battered Women ,
Surgeon General Antonia Novello, a publication of the Reference
Department of the Cambridge Public Library, Cambridge, MA.]
***The American family and the American home
are perhaps more violent than any other single American institution
or setting with the exception of the military in time of war. [ Behind Closed Doors: Violence in the American Family , Murray A. Straus, Richard J. Gelles, and Suzanne K.
Steinmetz, Anchor Press, New York, NY, 1981.]
The Abuser:
***In almost every instance, outside
intervention is needed to stop the abuse. Even if confronted by
family or friends about his need for treatment, few violators will
stay in a treatment program without a court order. In order to
change their behavior pattern, they need help to see that violent
behavior is abnormal. [ Abuse in the Family , Karen Burton
Mains, David C. Cook Publishing Co., 1987.]
***Violence is used by the perpetrator in a
relationship as a means to gain control over the victim. [ Angry Men and the Women Who Love Them , Paul Hegstrom,
Beacon Hill Press, Kansas City, MO, 1999.]
***About one-third of the men counseled for
battering at Emerge are professional men who are well respected in
their jobs and their communities. These include doctors,
psychologists, lawyers, ministers, and business executives. [ For Shelter and Beyond , Massachusetts Coalition of Battered
Women Service Groups, Boston, MA, 1990.]
***Weapons are used in thirty percent of
domestic violence incidents. [ Special Report: Family
Violence , P. Claus and M. Ranel, United States Bureau of
Justice Statistics, article undated.]
***According to a report from United States
Senator Barbara Boxer on September 2, 1993, nine-tenths of all
family violence defendants are never prosecuted, and one third of
the cases that would be considered felonies, if committed by
strangers, are filed as misdemeanors. [ Angry Men and the
Women Who Love Them , Paul Hegstrom, Beacon Hill Press, Kansas
City, MO,1999.]
***All studies indicate that battering is
learned behavior. Between sixty and eighty percent of batterers
grew up
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