How To Choose a Sweetheart

How To Choose a Sweetheart by Nigel Bird

Book: How To Choose a Sweetheart by Nigel Bird Read Free Book Online
Authors: Nigel Bird
Tags: Romance, British, Comedy, rom com
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her hair the colour of light-brown sugar and the tips slightly paler than the top. Her figure is displayed at its best in a tight-fitting pair of jeans and a cropped vest that rises as she moves. Her hands are covered in soap bubbles and this is the icing on the cake for Max. Whoever thought Fairy Liquid could be so sexy?
    “Perfect,” Max says, aware of the ambiguity of his remark.
    “And perfect timing sweetheart.” Max wonders if the ambiguity’s being returned. “Now tidy up your things and go and get ready for bed.”
    Alice’s eyes open wide. “But Mum. I’ve just got one more, tiny bit to finish on my little star picture.”
    “All right. You’ve got until I finish the dishes.”
    Alice runs over to where her pens lie scattered and draws on a piece of paper that’s in the middle of the floor.
    Max closes the lid of the piano and wanders to the balcony to light a cigarette. He feels much happier since he admitted to this vice. The evening is setting in and the sun is beginning its retreat.
    Alice finishes her picture quickly. She calls for Cath to come and look at it.
    This time, Cath’s hands are dry. “Is that Max?” she asks.
    She nods her head. “And that’s Grandpa’s star.”
    There’s an unfamiliar feeling in Max’s stomach. It’s like there’s something warm squelching around in there. He knows that it’s something special to be included in the picture.  Nobody’s ever done anything so nice for him, at least not for a good while.
    Alice runs out of the room.
    Max watches Cath go and take something from a drawer and then pin up Alice’s picture on the wall.
    Before long, Alice skips back in wearing an oversized tee-shirt with a love heart across it.
    “That was quick,” Cath says. “Did you wash your face?”
    Alice nods.
    “And clean your teeth?”
    Alice nods again.
    “Are you sure?”
    Alice moves forward to her mum and breathes up towards her face. Cath seems satisfied by the scent, picks her up and walks over to the balcony door. “Say goodnight to Max, Honey.”
    “Can he tell me a story?”
    Max drops his smoke to the floor and rubs it into the tiles with his foot. The idea of making up a story is terrifying. He can’t even remember anything about Goldilocks just for the moment.
    “Please Max.”
    “I’d love to, but I’m not in charge.” It’s all he can think of to get himself off the hook.
    “Mum?”
    It’s Max’s only hope and he freezes for a second.
    “I suppose you did work hard on the piano this evening. Go on then.”
    He’s been well and truly caught.
    “Will you come and help too Mum?”
    The idea of the cosy family getting together seems sweet on the one hand yet bitter as hell on the other.
    “I’ve got things to do, darling.”
    “Please Mum, Pleeeeease.”
    Max decides it might be a good thing to have another grown up in the room. “I wouldn’t mind a bit of moral support. It’s a while since I’ve had to tell a story without a costume to hide behind.” Last time he read to children he was dressed as a tree. The time before that an owl.
    “All right then. But only a short one.”
    Alice hugs Cath around the neck and they all go to the bedroom.
    Max starts talking when Alice is settled. He carries on without thinking where he’s going, just bumbling from one sentence to another.
    When he notices Alice’s eyes are closing, he can’t tell whether it’s because she’s nodding off to sleep or completely bored.
    “Jonathan started to cry. If he couldn’t move, then how would he be able to find the rest of his body?” How indeed?  “If he couldn’t find the rest of his body, then how could he get home?” If there was ever a time when he needed an audience to fall asleep, this is it. “He’d never get to see his family again.”
    That’s where his mind goes blank. It’s like he’s covered himself in a cloak of silence.
    Instead of dozing off, Alice sits up, as if alarmed at the state of affairs.
    “A big tear rolled down his

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