How I Lost You by Janet Gurtler

you.”
    â€œOw.” He rubbed at his arm and made a face at me. “For a little person, you have a big punch.”
    I made my hand into a fist and held it up. “Don’t make me do it again.”
    â€œYou know what? If you hadn’t moved here, I don’t know if we would have stayed friends. She’d probably have gotten bored. When we were little, she hung out with me because it made her feel important. You know? She’d fight anyone who said anything. But you came along and kind of insisted we all stay friends.” He glanced up at me with a sad half smile on his lips.
    â€œYou and Kya would totally still be friends,” I said.
    He reached for his soda again, avoiding my eyes, and took a long sip.
    â€œIt’s been the three of us for so long,” I said.
    â€œYeah?” he said with a wry smile at his can of Mountain Dew. “What about buds before studs?”
    â€œBut you’re not a stud, James,” I teased. “So that’s okay.”
    He looked up then with a flash of anger in his eyes. He blinked and it was gone. “Thanks a lot.”
    I shifted my stance and adjusted my purse. “You know what I mean. You’re our guy. ”
    He rolled his eyes.
    I forced out a giggle. “Come on. You want to be a stud? How about we fix you up with Angie Harrison? She’s been in love with you since seventh grade.”
    â€œAngie Harrison smells like cat litter.”
    I giggled for real. “Well. They do have a lot of cats at their house.”
    â€œFour,” he said. “Her little brother told me. And one of the cats is pregnant.”
    â€œHmm. That does seem a little excessive. And kind of sad that a cat is getting more action than we are. Okay. What about Denise Puzey?”
    He made a face and we joked around for a minute about possible dates for James. He didn’t tease me about anyone I might date.
    â€œI should go,” I finally told him. “You’ll be okay with Kya?”
    â€œShe can stay in the bedroom. I’m not going anywhere near her.” He stared down at the floor.
    â€œYou want me to walk you home?” he asked.
    I smiled. “James. It’s like fifty feet away.”
    â€œGive or take. Never mind. It’s dark out, thought I’d ask.” He searched the can of Mountain Dew again as if it held answers to mysterious questions.
    â€œI think I can handle it, but thanks. Dark doesn’t scare me. That’s Kya’s phobia, not mine.”
    â€œWish she was afraid of more useful things. Like alcoholic beverages.”
    He glanced up then and we smiled at each other, understanding each other without words. I lifted my hand and walked toward the front door. He stood up from his chair and followed me. “Until next time, Grace,” he said softly.
    I wished again that he understood Kya. It would make life easier for all of us. Fresh guilt hit me about telling Levi. I wanted to tell James, but Kya would sense it on us like a drug dog sniffing out some weed. James wasn’t known for his poker face. Me either, for that matter.
    The door clicked as he locked it behind me.
    Â 

chapter eleven
    Something pressed on my feet. I opened my eyes to see Kya at the end of my bed, sitting on my toes. Her eyes were wide but dull, as if someone sucked out the sparkly part of her soul. The hair sticking out in every direction highlighted the abnormal paleness of her face. Purple shadows puffed her eyes into slits. Not even Kya could pull off that look. I glanced at my clock on the dresser. Crap. I was supposed to be at Lola’s paintball place in forty-five minutes. I’d overslept by almost an hour, probably because I’d tossed and turned most of the night worrying about Kya and distracted by thoughts of Levi. I never usually needed an alarm clock to get up, so I hadn’t bothered to set one.
    â€œI woke up at James’s,” she said, dipping her head and picking at my