bathroom, but the whole apartment.
Then I arranged for a moving company to come in and pack up all of our belongings. Emma agreed to come visit and supervise the workers. The plan is to have Brooke’s belongings packed up separately from mine and shipped to her parent’s house in Maryland.
It feels strange not having Brooke to talk to. When you live with someone, you get used to their company. I know I wanted her to move on, but not having her around feels odd. I got so used to her conversations, whether they were good or bad. I even find I already miss the way she used to sing in the shower. It was always off key, and it was usually some pop garbage. I suppose I’ll eventually get used to the silence and being by myself again.
There’s a knock on the door at exactly eleven o’clock. I open it to see a fresh faced Kara, sporting worn jeans and a tight, gray sweater. Her hair is pulled back into a low ponytail, leaving her with a casual look.
She immediately engulfs me in a hug, wrapping her slender arms around my waist and burying her head in my chest. I wrap my arms around her as well and hold on tight for as long as she’ll let me. I love the way she feels in my arms. We stay that way for several minutes, soaking up each other’s warmth.
“Sorry, I just really needed that,” Kara whispers and wipes a tear as she looks up at me.
“I’m always here for you. Why don’t you come in? Let me take your coat.” There is no way I’m going to admit to her right now that I needed that just as much as she did. I don’t want her to see how vulnerable it makes me.
I help her take her coat off and lay it on the back of the chair. “Would you like some tea?”
“I’d love some.” Her lips tip up in a smile.
I watch her sit at the table and then turn to the stove to put the water on to boil. I locate a box of tea towards the back of Brad’s cupboard. I’m guessing it is Sophie’s doing that Brad actually has tea. Once the water is hot, I steep the bag and set the cup in front of her on the table.
I take the seat next to her and look her over as she blows lightly on the hot liquid. There’s something about watching her mouth perform that smallest task that is so damn alluring.
Her eyes look sad and tired. Knowing that she’s probably exhausted, it is best that I get the hard stuff out of the way. I decide to just come out and ask her about Brooke. It might make me sound like a dick, leading with this line of questioning, but it’s important I know.
“I have to ask. Did Brooke ever talk to you about anything?” She looks at me like she’s confused. Of course, there are a million things I could be referring to. Best to get on with it and be more specific.
“I’m not sure how to say this. I guess I’ll just come out with it. After her miscarriage, did she ever talk to you about what she was feeling or thinking? I wanted her to get some counseling, but she never did. I finally did get her to promise to talk to you about it. I need to know if she did.” Reaching over and covering my hand with hers, I try to show her I don’t think negatively of her in any way.
“Brooke did talk to me about certain aspects of her life. She tended to close herself off from people when it came to that type of thing, though. It probably had to do with the way her parents treated her.”
I’m not at all satisfied with that answer. Kara doesn’t keep me waiting for more information for too long before she drops a huge bomb on me that rocks my world.
“She needed professional help, Jacob. There was nothing you or I could have done. Once she chose to stop taking her meds, it was only a matter of time before it got out of control. I tried to convince –”
“Wait. What? What meds? You aren’t making any sense.” I shake my head, one plus one does not equal two right now.
“Brooke was bipolar. Didn’t you know?” Kara sits back in her chair and cocks her head to the side, looking confused.
“Fuck no, I didn’t
Then I arranged for a moving company to come in and pack up all of our belongings. Emma agreed to come visit and supervise the workers. The plan is to have Brooke’s belongings packed up separately from mine and shipped to her parent’s house in Maryland.
It feels strange not having Brooke to talk to. When you live with someone, you get used to their company. I know I wanted her to move on, but not having her around feels odd. I got so used to her conversations, whether they were good or bad. I even find I already miss the way she used to sing in the shower. It was always off key, and it was usually some pop garbage. I suppose I’ll eventually get used to the silence and being by myself again.
There’s a knock on the door at exactly eleven o’clock. I open it to see a fresh faced Kara, sporting worn jeans and a tight, gray sweater. Her hair is pulled back into a low ponytail, leaving her with a casual look.
She immediately engulfs me in a hug, wrapping her slender arms around my waist and burying her head in my chest. I wrap my arms around her as well and hold on tight for as long as she’ll let me. I love the way she feels in my arms. We stay that way for several minutes, soaking up each other’s warmth.
“Sorry, I just really needed that,” Kara whispers and wipes a tear as she looks up at me.
“I’m always here for you. Why don’t you come in? Let me take your coat.” There is no way I’m going to admit to her right now that I needed that just as much as she did. I don’t want her to see how vulnerable it makes me.
I help her take her coat off and lay it on the back of the chair. “Would you like some tea?”
“I’d love some.” Her lips tip up in a smile.
I watch her sit at the table and then turn to the stove to put the water on to boil. I locate a box of tea towards the back of Brad’s cupboard. I’m guessing it is Sophie’s doing that Brad actually has tea. Once the water is hot, I steep the bag and set the cup in front of her on the table.
I take the seat next to her and look her over as she blows lightly on the hot liquid. There’s something about watching her mouth perform that smallest task that is so damn alluring.
Her eyes look sad and tired. Knowing that she’s probably exhausted, it is best that I get the hard stuff out of the way. I decide to just come out and ask her about Brooke. It might make me sound like a dick, leading with this line of questioning, but it’s important I know.
“I have to ask. Did Brooke ever talk to you about anything?” She looks at me like she’s confused. Of course, there are a million things I could be referring to. Best to get on with it and be more specific.
“I’m not sure how to say this. I guess I’ll just come out with it. After her miscarriage, did she ever talk to you about what she was feeling or thinking? I wanted her to get some counseling, but she never did. I finally did get her to promise to talk to you about it. I need to know if she did.” Reaching over and covering my hand with hers, I try to show her I don’t think negatively of her in any way.
“Brooke did talk to me about certain aspects of her life. She tended to close herself off from people when it came to that type of thing, though. It probably had to do with the way her parents treated her.”
I’m not at all satisfied with that answer. Kara doesn’t keep me waiting for more information for too long before she drops a huge bomb on me that rocks my world.
“She needed professional help, Jacob. There was nothing you or I could have done. Once she chose to stop taking her meds, it was only a matter of time before it got out of control. I tried to convince –”
“Wait. What? What meds? You aren’t making any sense.” I shake my head, one plus one does not equal two right now.
“Brooke was bipolar. Didn’t you know?” Kara sits back in her chair and cocks her head to the side, looking confused.
“Fuck no, I didn’t
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