made that giant calendar for all of us to look at whenever we wanted. You forgot it was my night off. You made other plans.”
He couldn’t quite meet her eye. “Guilty.”
He could tell Michelle was holding back her temper. “When will you understand that it’s not all about you anymore?”
“I know, I know.”
“Do you?” Michelle asked sharply.
Esa’s eyes locked onto hers. “Yes, I do.”
The air between them shimmered, intensified. Esa felt like he was in a staring contest.
Michelle broke contact first. “We’re on the same side, you know,” she said quietly.
“Of course,” Esa agreed, but the feeling of his brain misfiring was returning.
Michelle smiled awkwardly. “I should go.”
“You look very nice,” said Esa. “Date?”
“Maybe. It’s—”
“None of my business,” Esa finished tersely.
“Bingo.”
“Well, whatever it is you’re doing, I hope you enjoy your evening. You deserve it. You work very hard.”
Michelle blushed. “Thank you.”
“Yes, well . . .” Esa glanced around, not sure where to look. This was fucked up; he was acting like some pussy schoolboy who didn’t know how to talk to women—looking around, words trailing off, awkward. He was glad Rory wasn’t here. His reputation would be ruined.
Even more pathetic was how confused he was feeling. The thought of Michelle going on a date irked him. It didn’t make sense. That was a lie. He didn’t want it to make sense, because it was laughable.
Once again Michelle was the one who broke the awkwardness. “I’ve really got to go. I don’t want to be late. Don’t let Nell scam you into letting her stay up
too
late.”
“I won’t.” He forced a smile. “Have a nice evening.”
“You, too.”
Esa remained frozen in the kitchen, listening as Michelle and Nell exchanged good-byes. He heard the front door open and close, and then there was no sound but the constant hum of the refrigerator. Nell was still out in the living room, turning pages. Esa pulled out his cell, shaking off the temporary madness of even giving a shit about Michelle’s night. He forced himself back to being annoyed about having to turn down a night of fun and frolic. Next time he’d be sure to check the big calendar. But for now, he was screwed.
12
“Michelle?”
Hearing her name tugged Michelle out of her reverie; worse, it embarrassed her. Here she was, in a nice wine and cheese bar with David, the manny, and all she could think about was the displeasure on Esa Saari’s “stunningly gorgeous face” earlier in the evening when she’d intimated that she might be out on a date. She shouldn’t care. But she did. She liked the way it made her feel, even if it was just momentary: like she was attractive. She hadn’t felt that way in a long time, despite the good-looking man sitting across the table from her.
“Sorry. You know what it’s like being a nanny: your mind keeps getting pulled back to kid stuff, even when you don’t want it to.”
David nodded sympathetically. “I hear ya.”
Michelle had been surprised when David called and asked her out for a drink. Her first thought had been that he wanted info about Marcus. But as they stayed on the phone chatting a bit, it dawned on her that he was asking her out because he liked
her
. It had nothing to do with Marcus, because David wasn’t gay. She accepted his invitation. Now she wondered if it was the right thing to do.
After spending a few hours with him, Michelle could already tell he was one of those guys about whom people said, “He’s a total catch.” Meaning that in theory, as a single woman who one day hoped to alter that state, Michelle should be feeling like she might have landed the big one. Yet she didn’t.
It was fun swapping war stories with him. But in the back of her mind remained the specter of Esa, the way he’d looked at her, and the tightness in his voice when she’d told him it was none of his business what she was up to tonight. Maybe
He couldn’t quite meet her eye. “Guilty.”
He could tell Michelle was holding back her temper. “When will you understand that it’s not all about you anymore?”
“I know, I know.”
“Do you?” Michelle asked sharply.
Esa’s eyes locked onto hers. “Yes, I do.”
The air between them shimmered, intensified. Esa felt like he was in a staring contest.
Michelle broke contact first. “We’re on the same side, you know,” she said quietly.
“Of course,” Esa agreed, but the feeling of his brain misfiring was returning.
Michelle smiled awkwardly. “I should go.”
“You look very nice,” said Esa. “Date?”
“Maybe. It’s—”
“None of my business,” Esa finished tersely.
“Bingo.”
“Well, whatever it is you’re doing, I hope you enjoy your evening. You deserve it. You work very hard.”
Michelle blushed. “Thank you.”
“Yes, well . . .” Esa glanced around, not sure where to look. This was fucked up; he was acting like some pussy schoolboy who didn’t know how to talk to women—looking around, words trailing off, awkward. He was glad Rory wasn’t here. His reputation would be ruined.
Even more pathetic was how confused he was feeling. The thought of Michelle going on a date irked him. It didn’t make sense. That was a lie. He didn’t want it to make sense, because it was laughable.
Once again Michelle was the one who broke the awkwardness. “I’ve really got to go. I don’t want to be late. Don’t let Nell scam you into letting her stay up
too
late.”
“I won’t.” He forced a smile. “Have a nice evening.”
“You, too.”
Esa remained frozen in the kitchen, listening as Michelle and Nell exchanged good-byes. He heard the front door open and close, and then there was no sound but the constant hum of the refrigerator. Nell was still out in the living room, turning pages. Esa pulled out his cell, shaking off the temporary madness of even giving a shit about Michelle’s night. He forced himself back to being annoyed about having to turn down a night of fun and frolic. Next time he’d be sure to check the big calendar. But for now, he was screwed.
12
“Michelle?”
Hearing her name tugged Michelle out of her reverie; worse, it embarrassed her. Here she was, in a nice wine and cheese bar with David, the manny, and all she could think about was the displeasure on Esa Saari’s “stunningly gorgeous face” earlier in the evening when she’d intimated that she might be out on a date. She shouldn’t care. But she did. She liked the way it made her feel, even if it was just momentary: like she was attractive. She hadn’t felt that way in a long time, despite the good-looking man sitting across the table from her.
“Sorry. You know what it’s like being a nanny: your mind keeps getting pulled back to kid stuff, even when you don’t want it to.”
David nodded sympathetically. “I hear ya.”
Michelle had been surprised when David called and asked her out for a drink. Her first thought had been that he wanted info about Marcus. But as they stayed on the phone chatting a bit, it dawned on her that he was asking her out because he liked
her
. It had nothing to do with Marcus, because David wasn’t gay. She accepted his invitation. Now she wondered if it was the right thing to do.
After spending a few hours with him, Michelle could already tell he was one of those guys about whom people said, “He’s a total catch.” Meaning that in theory, as a single woman who one day hoped to alter that state, Michelle should be feeling like she might have landed the big one. Yet she didn’t.
It was fun swapping war stories with him. But in the back of her mind remained the specter of Esa, the way he’d looked at her, and the tightness in his voice when she’d told him it was none of his business what she was up to tonight. Maybe
Similar Books
