Her Rugged Rancher by Stella Bagwell Page B

can ever think about having a family,” she reasoned.
    â€œI’m not that man. And I can’t ever be.”
    She opened her mouth to contradict him, but he didn’t give her the chance.
    He said, “All that stuff I told you tonight about my childhood, that’s only a part of my past.”
    â€œMost everyone has things in their past they’re not proud of, Noah. Me included. It’s your future that I’m interested in.”
    He grimaced. “God willing, my future life won’t look any different than it does right now.”
    â€œSo you always want to live alone? You don’t want a wife or children?”
    â€œNo. A wife and kids deserve someone who can give them love and devotion and make them happy. I can’t even make myself happy.”
    She moved closer and Noah swallowed hard as the front of her body nestled itself against his.
    â€œPerhaps that’s because you haven’t tried,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
    Like a single mound of sand trying to hold back an angry sea, the will to keep his hands off her suddenly crumbled. He wrapped them around her shoulders and pressed his fingers into her soft flesh.
    â€œI’ve been trying to tell you, Bella, that we can only be friends. I’ve been trying to—”
    â€œReject me. Yes, that’s obvious.” She slid her hands upward until her fingers were touching the exposed flesh between the parted folds of his shirt. “But I don’t think you really want to do that.”
    He reached out and gently traced his fingertip over the slant of her cheekbone. Her skin was as smooth as cream and he had no doubt it would taste just as rich.
    His throat tightened as the urge to kiss her, make love to her began to tie his muscles into knots. “No. That’s not what I want to do, Bella. But then you already know what you’re doing to me. I imagine that makes you feel pretty damn good, doesn’t it? Knowing you can make a big man like me weak in the knees.”
    Her eyes narrowed and then her head shook back and forth. “Why would you think such a thing? I have no desire to wield power over you. Or anyone else for that matter. That’s one of the reasons I like being a lawyer. Because I believe everyone should be on equal ground.”
    â€œWell, in my case—”
    â€œIn your case, Noah, you’re thinking too much. Worrying too much. Why can’t you simply let yourself feel?”
    â€œBecause I’m feeling things that aren’t good for me.”
    Slipping her arms around him, she nestled her cheek against the middle of his chest. The gesture of trust melted the cold chunk of reasoning inside him and without thinking, he stroked a hand over her dark hair.
    A soft sigh slipped past her lips to mingle with the sound of the whispering pines. “After Marcus upended my world, I didn’t think I’d ever want another man. Instead of thinking forward, I kept thinking in the past and all that I’d lost.” She lifted her head and looked up at him. “But I’m beginning to see how that mindset was cowardly and stupid. I want more for myself than just wishing and hoping that things could be different.”
    â€œI’m not afraid, Bella. I’m practical.” And that sensible side of him had kept him very cautious around any woman he met. If by some miracle he ever decided to take a wife, she needed to be cut from the same tough rawhide as himself. Not delicate lace, like Bella.
    She said, “Being practical has no connection to falling in love. I might get hurt all over again. But so be it. I have to try to reach for my hopes and dreams.”
    Her words were like a battering ram, pounding at the door to his heart. Inch by inch he could feel the protective barrier caving and the fear that she might actually break through had him thrusting her gently away from him.
    â€œThen you’d better go try to find all those