Her Rugged Rancher by Stella Bagwell

into trouble with their parents to go with me.”
    Even though he wasn’t looking at her directly, he could feel her thoughtfully studying him. That was something different for Noah. The rare times he was with a woman she might look at him with amusement or even lust. But none ever studied him as though she was interested in the man beneath the surface. The notion that Bella saw him differently left him feeling restless and very vulnerable.
    â€œDid your parents know where you were or what you were doing?” she asked.
    His short laugh was a brittle, hollow sound. “They didn’t care. They were more concerned about fighting over money or booze, or the one junky car they owned.”
    â€œI’m sorry. That must’ve been tough.”
    Sometimes in the quiet of the night, Noah could still hear the yelling and banging, the threats and tears. Back then, no matter where he’d tried to hide in the house, the violent sounds would reach him. Now after all these years, he still couldn’t outrun the memories.
    â€œIt could’ve been worse. They never laid a mean hand on me.” He stared out at the pines and the patches of silvery moonlight on the ground. “As a very small boy, I can remember my mother being very loving to me. She made me feel wanted and protected. But something changed, I didn’t know what. Except that my parents had started fighting. After that, she began to push me away. Finally, she left and never came back.”
    â€œHmm. That’s odd that she didn’t take you with her when she left.”
    Surprised by Bella’s comment, he looked over at her. “Why do you say that? It was obvious she didn’t want me around.”
    She shook her head. “You don’t know that for sure. She clearly loved you once and a mother just doesn’t stop loving her child. And she sure doesn’t abandon it. She might have had emotional issues and figured you’d be better off without her. Or she could’ve been afraid. Your dad might have used you as a threat against her.”
    â€œNo. Mom wasn’t afraid for herself,” he reasoned. “She stood up to him like a bulldog terrier.”
    She leaned forward and returned her bowl to the tray. “You don’t understand, Noah. I didn’t mean she was afraid for her own safety. I have the feeling she was trying to protect you. Believe me, in my line of work I see it all the time. Women make bad choices and then they become so afraid they make even worse choices. Your mother probably ran off because she didn’t know any other way to handle the situation.”
    Noah had never thought in those terms. As a teenager he’d carried around the bitter hurt of being abandoned and that feeling had never left. Now Bella expected him to see things in a different light.
    A sardonic smile twisted his lips. “Do you always look at things through rosy glasses? I thought you had to be a hard-nosed cynic to be a lawyer.”
    Chuckling, she touched a fingertip to her nose. “Oh, it doesn’t feel that hard to me,” she joked, then her expression turned serious. “Have you ever tried to locate your mother?”
    A spot deep inside him squeezed so hard it caused his fingers to curl into his palms. “No. I don’t even know if she’s still alive.”
    â€œI have connections,” she said. “I could make a search for you. No charge, of course.”
    â€œBella, think about what you’re asking,” he said gently. “I’ve been doing fine like I am. What would it accomplish if you found her?”
    â€œHave you ever thought she might need you?”
    Her question should’ve had him bursting out with laughter. The notion that Margo Crawford might need her son was certainly absurd. And yet Noah couldn’t feel any humor.
    â€œNo. I’ve never thought about it. And I don’t intend to.”
    She seemed to accept his response because