Her Destiny by Monica Murphy

room, shutting the door quietly before I slump against it, closing my eyes and pressing my forehead against the rough wood.
    My feelings for him haven’t stopped. I still want him. I’m still in love with him. So why am I denying myself from being with him? Because I’ve changed and I’m worried he won’t accept me for who I really am? And because my life is so crazy the last thing I need is another complication to muck it all up?
    Valid reasons, but why would I deprive myself from being with him? He’s the only one who understood me. Who listened to me. Who cared about me.
    I think he still does.
    Cracking open my eyes, I push away from the doorway and shut off the light before I crawl into bed. I lay there in the dark, listening to him move about inside the bathroom, which is right next to my bedroom. He finishes brushing his teeth before he exits the room and I swear I can feel him standing on the other side of my closed door, waiting. Listening for any sign of life coming from within.
    I can’t move. I’m frozen, holding my breath, waiting for him to knock on the door, to turn the knob, anything to show that he wants to see me. I want him to both respect my brother’s wishes and defy them. I want him overcome with need yet cautious. I want…everything.
    All of him.
    Disappointment crashes through me when I realize he is definitely obeying Evan’s wishes. He doesn’t sneak into my room, doesn’t attempt to talk to me, nothing. I should be happy. Pleased that he doesn’t want to upset anyone.
    Instead, I’m sad.
    Rolling over on my side, I punch the pillow beneath my head and settle in for the night, willing myself to fall asleep. I get to spend pretty much the entire weekend with him. Maybe we can work it out then since we’ll have plenty of time. But for now I’ll have to settle for Nick visiting me…
    Only in my dreams.

 
    The longest night/morning ever…
     
    I can’t fucking sleep, not while knowing Reverie is just steps away from me, tucked into her bed, all cozy and cute in that tight white top that shows off her curves and the fuzzy pajama pants. I want to sneak into her room and crawl into bed with her. Hold her close and press my face against her neck, kissing the soft skin just behind her ear. Teasing little kisses that’ll wake her up nice and slow until she’s turning into my arms and wanting more.
    Just like that, my body reacts and I growl in frustration, staring up at the ceiling. The couch is narrow and short and my feet hang over the end, which sucks. Light from the various electronics that are scattered throughout the living room and kitchen cast the place in a dim glow and I can hear the occasional car passing by outside, the sound of rain falling, the rhythmic gust of wind rattling against the building.
    It’s cold as hell too, the thin blankets not offering much protection against the chill air, but I hate wearing too many clothes when I sleep so it’s my own damn fault I’m cold. The Hales aren’t using central heat and I’m guessing that’s because it costs too damn much. Such a switch from their privileged life I witnessed all last summer. Evander Hale lived like a damn king with his designer clothes, expensive Rolex watch and crazy ass car that no teenager should be allowed to drive. Now he’s working his ass off, barely making it and trying to take care of his sister.
    Wild.
    Seeing Reverie in her new element only makes me respect her more. She’s so strong, so smart, so determined to do what she can to survive. I admire her guts. In the past I had zero guts because I naively believed the system would take care of me after David accused me of being a murderer. Considering how well that worked out for me, I finally learn how to stand up for myself, only to have the system come after me yet again.
    Well, screw that noise. I’m over it. Starting now, my life is going to change. It has to. I need to get the police off my back once and for all. First step, Reverie’s