everything, and sat on the little wall of the forecourt to see where I had gone wrong and how Aidan had corrected me, noting in the process how close this “alien” place was to a road so familiar to me - the N4. It all looked so logical and straightforward when looking at a map that I felt positively silly for my near breakdown at Fatima Mansions.
However, being lost is a truly horrible experience and under the pressure to get there quickly, the misery is magnified tenfold - and with my broken heart flooding me with waves of pain and despair…
My thoughts trailed off as heartache engulfed my consciousness once more, drowning all in its merciless sea of misery. At least I had enough on my mind to ward off the suffering for periods of time as I did this job, apart from moments like this one now when the full enormity of my loss invaded me. The word loss caused tears to well up in my eyes so I put my new map into my bag, put on my helmet and got onto my bike, intent on combating the morbid invasion with activity. It worked too, to an extent.
Accelerating away from the petrol station along Mount Brown towards Christchurch, I supposed to myself that that was the way of things; battle through the invasions of agony whatever way possible and have faith that with time, the universal healer, the invasions would become less intense and less frequent and would (hopefully) eventually transform into little bouts of harmless nostalgia.
A solitary tear escaped from my left eye, aided by the acceleration, as I consoled myself with two words accompanying this philosophy: some day!
I managed to do another five minis that afternoon - Aidan kept me around town to give me a chance to get the hang of things - and got one for Palmerstown and one for Lucan on my way home. I was told that nine jobs in total was a good score for my first afternoon ever at the job, but that the money was to be made doing mileage jobs. The six minis at £1.30 each, totalled £7.80. The Kilmainham was worth £1.90, Palmerstown £3.40 and Lucan £4.07 to give a grand total of £17.17 earned that afternoon.
Even before subtracting the fiver I spent on petrol on the way home and the £6.95 on the map, it was a crap afternoon’s wages - but it was a start.
Things were going to progress upwards for Four Sean from here!
5
First Reaction
Eoin and Marie were both at home when I arrived back at quarter to seven, having taken a total of 45 minutes to locate my two mileage jobs of the day - even with the help of the map.
They were both equally amazed to see me sporting a bag and radio. I had deliberately neglected to tell them about my lunch-time appointment at lightning because I hadn’t been convinced that it would amount to anything. My entrance was greeted with a torrent of assorted energetic exclamations.
“My God, look at you!”
“Are you a courier now?”
“Well done, Sean. How long have you been planning this?”
“When did they hire you?”
“Today! After you only rang them yesterday?”
“You’re a dark horse!”
“What sort of qualifications do you need? Not many I imagine!”
“Eoin! I’m sure this will help you out of the rut that you were in, Sean. A change is as good as a rest, isn’t that what they say!”
“I’m sure it’ll do until you get something more suitable for you. I don’t suppose many of your new workmates have degrees?”
“Judge not lest ye be judged. Don’t mind him, Sean, this will do you the power of good!”
“Is that black on your face?”
Eoin’s last question had me running to the mirror in the hall with more enthusiasm than you would expect from such a question, but I was immediately reminded of the black on some of the courier’s faces in the base that afternoon and the prospect of looking like one of them actually appealed to me.
There was no denying that this “pack of animals” (according to my first impression of them), had made an impact on me and that, despite being initially afraid of
However, being lost is a truly horrible experience and under the pressure to get there quickly, the misery is magnified tenfold - and with my broken heart flooding me with waves of pain and despair…
My thoughts trailed off as heartache engulfed my consciousness once more, drowning all in its merciless sea of misery. At least I had enough on my mind to ward off the suffering for periods of time as I did this job, apart from moments like this one now when the full enormity of my loss invaded me. The word loss caused tears to well up in my eyes so I put my new map into my bag, put on my helmet and got onto my bike, intent on combating the morbid invasion with activity. It worked too, to an extent.
Accelerating away from the petrol station along Mount Brown towards Christchurch, I supposed to myself that that was the way of things; battle through the invasions of agony whatever way possible and have faith that with time, the universal healer, the invasions would become less intense and less frequent and would (hopefully) eventually transform into little bouts of harmless nostalgia.
A solitary tear escaped from my left eye, aided by the acceleration, as I consoled myself with two words accompanying this philosophy: some day!
I managed to do another five minis that afternoon - Aidan kept me around town to give me a chance to get the hang of things - and got one for Palmerstown and one for Lucan on my way home. I was told that nine jobs in total was a good score for my first afternoon ever at the job, but that the money was to be made doing mileage jobs. The six minis at £1.30 each, totalled £7.80. The Kilmainham was worth £1.90, Palmerstown £3.40 and Lucan £4.07 to give a grand total of £17.17 earned that afternoon.
Even before subtracting the fiver I spent on petrol on the way home and the £6.95 on the map, it was a crap afternoon’s wages - but it was a start.
Things were going to progress upwards for Four Sean from here!
5
First Reaction
Eoin and Marie were both at home when I arrived back at quarter to seven, having taken a total of 45 minutes to locate my two mileage jobs of the day - even with the help of the map.
They were both equally amazed to see me sporting a bag and radio. I had deliberately neglected to tell them about my lunch-time appointment at lightning because I hadn’t been convinced that it would amount to anything. My entrance was greeted with a torrent of assorted energetic exclamations.
“My God, look at you!”
“Are you a courier now?”
“Well done, Sean. How long have you been planning this?”
“When did they hire you?”
“Today! After you only rang them yesterday?”
“You’re a dark horse!”
“What sort of qualifications do you need? Not many I imagine!”
“Eoin! I’m sure this will help you out of the rut that you were in, Sean. A change is as good as a rest, isn’t that what they say!”
“I’m sure it’ll do until you get something more suitable for you. I don’t suppose many of your new workmates have degrees?”
“Judge not lest ye be judged. Don’t mind him, Sean, this will do you the power of good!”
“Is that black on your face?”
Eoin’s last question had me running to the mirror in the hall with more enthusiasm than you would expect from such a question, but I was immediately reminded of the black on some of the courier’s faces in the base that afternoon and the prospect of looking like one of them actually appealed to me.
There was no denying that this “pack of animals” (according to my first impression of them), had made an impact on me and that, despite being initially afraid of
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