Guilty Pleasures by Kitty Thomas

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    “I like you best this way, flower. So desperate and horny you’d do anything. Everyone’s gone for the day. We’re going to my house where I have more toys. You can stay the night.”
    Vivian had been rubbing the wet cloth over her folds, trying not to linger, trying not to masturbate or buck her hips, when his words stopped her.
    “Stay the night?”
    “You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
    “Yes, Sir.” The idea of seeing his house, sleeping in his bed, and waking up with him the next morning, felt exciting. But at the same time, it would do nothing to help her actually end this when she’d intended. Was that why he was trying to draw her closer? To keep her?
    He’d already said they didn’t and wouldn’t have a relationship. It wouldn’t work. He wasn’t a man she could ever love. Whatever happened tonight, tomorrow she had to go to the police.
    “Let’s go then.”
    He held her hand and guided her to his car. She was silent during the drive, unsure what to say that wouldn’t somehow piss him off.
    What the fuck are you doing, Vivian? It’s one thing at Dome, but going to his house? This guy is clearly short on sanity. Getting into a car with him? Have you lost your mind?
    No, she’d lost her impulse control right about the time her libido had spun out of its natural orbit. Her panties were soaked again. She wasn’t in the best position to make a rational decision. Most people weren’t when they were that horny, or they wouldn’t make half the stupid sexual choices they made.
    He must have seen fear on her face because he let one hand leave the steering wheel to stroke her thigh. “Everything will be okay, flower. You’ll see.”
    She smiled weakly, irrationally comforted by his touch.
    The drive was long, and the lights of the city soon faded to reveal countryside. As the minutes marched on, fewer cars passed. It started to feel as if only she and Anton existed.
    He took her hand from where she’d been clenching it in her lap and squeezed it. “Someday you’ll be glad we met and that I made you face yourself.”
    She looked out the window at passing pastures and cows sleeping under the moonlight. Her cell phone rang, jolting her out of the surreal head space she was in. She looked at Anton, questioning.
    He released her hand. “Answer your phone.”
    She sucked in a breath. “Hello?”
    “Hey, Baby.”
    “Michael!” They hadn’t spoken since the night in the hallway when she’d been pressed against the basement door, hoping he would just throw her down on the ground and take her. Suddenly his voice was the best sound in the world.
    “I was just calling to check in. Someone’s going to come by and bring groceries tomorrow. He’ll leave you about a hundred dollars in case you need anything before I get back.”
    She couldn’t stop the tears that had started to stream down her face. Guilt for cheating? Guilt for leaving? Shame over not trusting him to believe her if she’d gone to him from the start? She didn’t know.
    “What’s wrong, Vivi?”
    “Nothing. I’m fine. I just miss you.”
    “I miss you, too. I’ll be home soon. I love you.”
    “I love you, too.”
    After she disconnected the call, she slid the phone back into her purse and wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.
    “Are you all right?”
    She sniffled a little. “What do you care?” She caught herself only after the words had left her mouth and looked over, afraid that might have earned her a punishment. But he didn’t seem to care about her outburst.
    Anton lifted one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. “Just making conversation. I thought you said you were leaving him.”
    “I am.”
    “Why? You just told him you loved him. Were you lying?”
    “Why do you care about my personal life all of a sudden?”
    “Just answer the question.”
    “We don’t make each other happy. I’m an obligation to him, and he’s not what I need.”
    “I don’t believe you have the slightest notion what you