Chapter 2
NO PAIN, NO GAIN
STOMP.
âOhhhhh! It hurts! It HURTS!â
Maybe The Stomp hasnât come to your school yet. It will. Itâs the most popular sport at Rotten School now. Even more popular than opening yourmouth wide at lunch and showing off your chewed-up glob of spinach.
You can see kids stomping on each other all over campus. And you can hear their cries of pain and watch them hopping up and down on one foot until the pain fades away.
âGive me a break!â
âStop! You broke all my toes!â
The Stomp started whenever some dude would show up wearing new shoes or new sneakers. As soon as we saw the shiny, clean shoes, weâd all hurry to stomp on them and scuff them and smash them and make them look old.
Itâs just the natural thing to do when you see new shoes. It probably started with the cavemen.
We begged our parents not to send us new shoes.We all knew how painful new shoes would be.
And then some guys got the idea to stomp on shoes that werenât new! Thatâs how the sport was born. Some kid walks by. You stop him. You stomp your heel down on his shoe. Then you take out a stopwatch and see how long he can hop on one foot.
It hurts! It HURTS!â
Hop hop hop hop.
âGood work, Feenman!â I called to my friend. âYou beat your old record. You hopped for twenty-three seconds.â
I raised my stopwatch. âTry again, dude. If we can get it up to twenty- eight seconds, you can beat Joe Sweetyâs school record.â
âBut I donât want to beat the school record!â Feenman moaned. His face was bright red, and tears rolled down his cheeks. He stood on one leg and rubbed his sore foot.
âDonât be selfish,â I said. âYou know I bet Sweety twenty dollars we could beat his record.â
I signaled to Crench, my other good buddy. âGet Feenman started.â
STOMMMMMMP!
Crench tromped down on Feenmanâs shoe.
Feenman let out a howl and started hopping up and down on one foot.
I cheered him on as I stared at the stopwatch. Thatâs another reason Iâm popular. Iâm always eager to cheer my guys on.
Feenman fell on his face after only fifteen seconds.He lay in the grass, whimpering softly.
I could see he needed more cheering.
âOne more try!â I shouted. âYou can do it. You know my motto, Feenman. No pain, no gain.â
âBut, Bernieââ he moaned. â Youâre not the one whoâs in pain!â
âBut Iâm the one who wants to gain ,â I said. âIâll gain twenty bucks if we beat Joe Sweetyâs record.â
I motioned to Crench. âGet him on his feet. Weâre not quittersâare we?â
Crench bent down and started to pull Feenman up. My friend Nosebleed came by. He had a fat wad of tissues pressed to his nose.
âWhatâs up?â I asked.
âMmmmww, mwwwww,â he said.
âI canât understand you,â I said.
âThatâs cuz I have a fat wad of tissues pressed to my nose,â he replied. âWes Updood stomped on my new sneakers, and it gave me a nosebleed.â
He shook his head sadly. âIt ruined my yearbook photo. Do you believe I have a nosebleed in my yearbook photo? How totally uncool is that?â
I slapped my forehead. âItâs yearbook photo week? Oh, wow. I forgot all about it!â
âThey call you when itâs your turn,â Crench said.
âI have to talk to them first,â I said. âYou know my photo has to be perfect . Kids wonât buy the yearbook unless they know theyâre getting a perfect Bernie Bridges photo. Something to remember me by.â
I spun away from them and starting jogging across the grass. The yearbook office was in the School House building, and I had to get there fast.
âBernieââ I heard Crench shout. âShould I stomp on Feenmanâs foot and get him going again?â
âStomp
C. J. Cherryh
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