that’s the part that upset me. That he was supposed to be my boyfriend and that he decided that I wasn’t good enough anymore. What an asshole! It’s guys like him that make me want to exterminate the entire male species. (And thoughts like those that get me a reputation for being a man-hater, but I digress.)
I’m over it, like I said. I’m not the type to sit around moping over an ex, and in retrospect it was the best thing that could have happened. We’re good at being friends, even though we haven’t been real friends in a while. It’s been a casual, off-hand sort of thing ever since we broke up. It’ll take a while for things to get back to normal, I suppose.
But it always does, doesn’t it? It’s what’s happening with Declan right now. I really must call him sometime this week and get everything sorted out. I don’t want this becoming a big deal.
It isn’t. It shouldn’t be.
Chapter Forty-Four
Monday seems to last forever. I am incredibly relieved to get home, and even more relieved that it’s a Janet-free environment at the moment.
I head for the TV, of course, and debate which DVD to watch. I find myself wondering if my parents ever look at my collection. If Janet had ever examined it closely, she wouldn’t have been so surprised at seeing me kissing Lucy.
I’m annoyed about that, I think. Not intensely annoyed, but irritated that she’s barged into my private life and made judgements based on five seconds. My friendship, or relationship, or whatever you want to call it, with Lucy, is something rather complicated. And Janet has no idea. She just makes assumptions.
I hate her for intruding on this part of my life, the part of my life that I keep for just me and my friends, the part I don’t want my family knowing about, and it’s not out of any sense of shame or fear, but the fact that they don’t know who I am, the sort of person that I am, and that we’re just people who live in the same house and are bound by blood but not by anything that really matters.
I’m moving out as soon as I can, not because I hate them – I don’t – but because I need my own space. I need to have my own life, and right now it feels like I can’t have that here.
I want that stylish apartment in town where I will live with someone I care about. Since Abi’s out of the question, realistically speaking, I’d probably end up sharing with Barry. I imagine living with him. We’d always be laughing at something. I’d come home from a long hard day at work and he’d give me a back massage. Then I’d give him one – because he would have had a tough day too – and then we’d –
No. I’m not going down that route. Roisín and the others must be getting to me with their ‘spark’ nonsense.
Chapter Forty-Five
I spend Tuesday lunch-time talking to Lucy about Andrew’s proposal.
“I called him yesterday,” she says. “He said he didn’t understand why I wasn’t excited about this.”
I sigh. “He’s being a little unreasonable, isn’t he? I mean, you’re eighteen.”
“I tried telling him that. He says that he’s ready to commit, and that he doesn’t get why I’m not willing to. I think I’m going to end it.”
“End it?” I say fearfully. Being friends with Declan has made me paranoid about people saying things like that.
“Break up with him,” she elaborates, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
“Do you mean it?” I ask.
She nods. “This isn’t just going to go away, you know? I need to deal with it, and I think the only way I can is by telling him I can’t be involved with him anymore.”
“But it’s Andrew. I mean – you’re mad about him, right?”
“Of course,” she says, “but what else can I do? So I’m going to talk to him today after school.”
“There has to be a better way of dealing with this than dumping him, Lucy,” I say. I’m still stunned at the idea that the perfect couple are going to be no more. “I mean, you’ve
I’m over it, like I said. I’m not the type to sit around moping over an ex, and in retrospect it was the best thing that could have happened. We’re good at being friends, even though we haven’t been real friends in a while. It’s been a casual, off-hand sort of thing ever since we broke up. It’ll take a while for things to get back to normal, I suppose.
But it always does, doesn’t it? It’s what’s happening with Declan right now. I really must call him sometime this week and get everything sorted out. I don’t want this becoming a big deal.
It isn’t. It shouldn’t be.
Chapter Forty-Four
Monday seems to last forever. I am incredibly relieved to get home, and even more relieved that it’s a Janet-free environment at the moment.
I head for the TV, of course, and debate which DVD to watch. I find myself wondering if my parents ever look at my collection. If Janet had ever examined it closely, she wouldn’t have been so surprised at seeing me kissing Lucy.
I’m annoyed about that, I think. Not intensely annoyed, but irritated that she’s barged into my private life and made judgements based on five seconds. My friendship, or relationship, or whatever you want to call it, with Lucy, is something rather complicated. And Janet has no idea. She just makes assumptions.
I hate her for intruding on this part of my life, the part of my life that I keep for just me and my friends, the part I don’t want my family knowing about, and it’s not out of any sense of shame or fear, but the fact that they don’t know who I am, the sort of person that I am, and that we’re just people who live in the same house and are bound by blood but not by anything that really matters.
I’m moving out as soon as I can, not because I hate them – I don’t – but because I need my own space. I need to have my own life, and right now it feels like I can’t have that here.
I want that stylish apartment in town where I will live with someone I care about. Since Abi’s out of the question, realistically speaking, I’d probably end up sharing with Barry. I imagine living with him. We’d always be laughing at something. I’d come home from a long hard day at work and he’d give me a back massage. Then I’d give him one – because he would have had a tough day too – and then we’d –
No. I’m not going down that route. Roisín and the others must be getting to me with their ‘spark’ nonsense.
Chapter Forty-Five
I spend Tuesday lunch-time talking to Lucy about Andrew’s proposal.
“I called him yesterday,” she says. “He said he didn’t understand why I wasn’t excited about this.”
I sigh. “He’s being a little unreasonable, isn’t he? I mean, you’re eighteen.”
“I tried telling him that. He says that he’s ready to commit, and that he doesn’t get why I’m not willing to. I think I’m going to end it.”
“End it?” I say fearfully. Being friends with Declan has made me paranoid about people saying things like that.
“Break up with him,” she elaborates, and I breathe a sigh of relief.
“Do you mean it?” I ask.
She nods. “This isn’t just going to go away, you know? I need to deal with it, and I think the only way I can is by telling him I can’t be involved with him anymore.”
“But it’s Andrew. I mean – you’re mad about him, right?”
“Of course,” she says, “but what else can I do? So I’m going to talk to him today after school.”
“There has to be a better way of dealing with this than dumping him, Lucy,” I say. I’m still stunned at the idea that the perfect couple are going to be no more. “I mean, you’ve
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