Gone by Anna Bloom

window is the best surprise she has ever had and I should be rewarded for my efforts.
    “I’m doing that,” I say once I have pulled my lips away.
    “But, how?”
    I stop her words again. This time as I move my mouth against hers I run one of my hands up her spine and along her bare shoulder. I can’t resist it. I slide the strap to her vest top off the curve of her shoulder and lower my lips to the smooth skin. She smells delicious, and feels warm like the sun, as I knew she always would. My concentration is focused on my lips against her skin, but in the back of my mind I register a gasp escaping from her mouth and it makes me pull her even closer. Lifting her in my arms I step for the bed and lower us onto it, leaning my body into hers. I can feel every bit of her against me and it makes me feel this dark urge to be with her. I slide my hand along her belly and up and over her ribs. I want the crazy short shorts off. I want to slide her top over her head and feel her skin meshed with mine, burning into mine. More than that I want to feel what it would be like to be inside her. I know I could lose myself inside of her, and I want that. I want to feel nothing, apart from the sensation of being lost inside her.
    Bex pushes me back slightly and her amber eyes seek mine. Slowly she traces a finger along my eyebrow, brushing it over the ring on my brow before sliding the finger along the side of my face all the way to my jaw. Her eyes never break their hold over mine. It is the single most intimate thing anyone has ever done to me. The gentlest of touches which somehow brings me back from the dark edge of need and want I was teetering on. Pushing myself away a little I glance over her face. The amber’s are still trained on me, waiting for me to make a move.
    “Sorry.” I let out a slow breath with my words. The blood pounding through my system eases with the release.
    Bex smiles but gives me a firm nod, her hand grazing down my waist.
    I shift myself away before her touch reaches the waistband of my board shorts. I may have gained some resistance but it’s not that strong.
    “Bex, no.” I say as she reaches for me.
    Sitting up a little she pushes a hand against my chest. “I don’t know what you think. I’m not that kind of girl.”
    Something about her anger makes me want to laugh. “What kind of girl?”
    Her entire countenance changes instantly. The angry girl defending her virtue seconds ago is gone. Her eyes flicker with a direct challenge and she slides another hand down my torso, her reach determined and firm. There is something in her expression I can’t read. What is that? Determination? Repulsion? Acceptance? I catch her hands easily in both of mine and lift them above her head. I lean my mouth back down to hers and flick my tongue along the edge of her lips tasting the sun and fire that linger there. I lower my mouth and kiss along the arch of her throat and then all the way back up to her lips.
    “Why are you stopping??” She pouts with her words.
    “Okay.” I take a deep steadying breath. This is uncomfortable. The guilt crushing me is breathtaking. I never thought I would be back in this house, wanting something from someone, not from a person that I don’t even know. Believe me I want it. I want her hand to reach their goal, I want to feel myself in her firm grasp and find some form of guilt ridden release in it. But that flicker in her eyes just moments ago is pulling me back.
    It hits me in a blinding moment of clarity. She thinks this is what she should do.
    I feel sick. And then a little bit more. I move my body away from hers creating some space from the heat between our bodies.  “Bex. I don’t want anything from you.” I try to smile with my words, I’m not sure I succeed.
    “What do you want then?”
    What does she mean, what do I want?”
    “Uh.” Another long breath. “I just want to spend time with you, I’m not expecting anything. You know?”
    She looks at me blankly.