Silhouette by Thalia Kalkipsakis

me. It’s not just the choreography that’s awesome, but the way we all look. My face has been touched up so that I’ve become a perfect version of me. They did something to our hair during production too, making it shimmer and slide when we move. I can tell that a lot of the work was done after shooting.
    When the music ends, I turn and breathe in. Everyone’s quiet, looking at me expectantly. Am I meant to say something?
    ‘That was …’ Paige’s eyebrow kinks as if she can’t find the words.
    ‘Amazing,’ finishes Izzy. ‘You didn’t tell us it would be like that. I mean, you told us you were doing the music video but I never realised it would be that good .’
    ‘Well, it wasn’t just me,’ I explain. ‘The make-up and costumes took ages.’
    ‘I can’t believe you were working with Moss Young,’ gasps Anka, her tone a mix of disbelief and envy.
    ‘What’s he like?’ asks someone else.
    ‘Did you rehearse together?’
    A couple of the year sevens are staring at me as if I’m about to give them the answer to the meaning of life.
    So I give them what they want to hear. ‘Actually, yes, I saw Moss on the weekend. He’s amazing to work with.’
    The questions come faster. As I answer, I glance over at Paige and Izzy. They’ve moved to one side, still listening but also stepping back.
    The crowd’s all around me. I stay where I am, answering questions, feeling as if I’m looking at them all through a glass wall.

TEN
    ‘Up, up … REACH,’ calls Jack from the front. ‘Yes, that’s good!’
    Anka, Grant and Tadpole are on the f loor, punching the moves. There’s a sense of grunt and thrust in the air. Flicks of sweat as well.
    The music finishes and they make their way around the back to join the rest of us. Anka does her usual strut, trying to psyche us all out. When her eyes meet mine she looks away. Not sure what’s going on there. I’m used to getting a challenging smirk.
    My turn next. In time with Jack’s count I run onto the floor behind Paige and Izzy.
    ‘Feet, Izzy!’ calls Jack at one point. Then, ‘Good, Paige,’ at the end.
    As usual, I get barely a nod. I’m used to it now. Ever since I landed the part in the ‘Everywhere’ video I get the feeling that Jack’s been avoiding me, not wanting to seem like he gave me preferential treatment, I guess. Or maybe he’s still annoyed.
    After class, a blister takes a bit of time. When I come out of the studio, Paige is leaning against the wall, one foot lifted.
    ‘Sorry.’ I start towards her. ‘I didn’t know you were waiting.’
    ‘It’s okay.’ She smiles and falls in beside me. ‘I wanted to ask what you were about to say this morning before Izzy came in.’ She glances my way. ‘You said you had a fight with your mum?’
    ‘Yeah.’ I stop walking and breathe in. My mum.
    We’re heading to the caf but I don’t want to talk about it there, so I pull her through the main entrance and sit on the top step.
    ‘We had this argument,’ I say slowly. ‘Turns out she lied about how Dad died.’ At the back of my mind I search for the words, hesitating at the way they taste. Shoulder injury. Alcohol. Painkillers …
    They make it sound so lonely. I suddenly want to cry.
    Paige rests her elbows on her knees. ‘How did he die?’ she asks gently.
    Cars are passing on the street, so many strangers going about their lives. I keep my eyes on them as a kind of anchor. ‘It was a mix of drugs, sleeping tablets and alcohol.’
    ‘Drugs?’
    I don’t need to look at her to know what she’s thinking. ‘Prescription drugs. Painkillers,’ I say. ‘Because of his shoulder injury.’
    Paige is quiet, and still I don’t want to look at her. ‘That’s so sad,’ she murmurs. ‘So why did she lie about it?’
    ‘To make it easier for herself.’ I take a breath. ‘I think he was having an affair –’ It’s only as I say it that I realise it’s the truth.
    My voice breaks and I can’t keep going. I should hate him for