Fuzzy Nation by John Scalzi

clean them up after we’re done. What is going to make that argument less than convincing is the fact that the principal surveyor of the seam is someone who rather cavalierly caused an ecological disaster right at the start.”
    “The environmental lobbies already know your name, Mr. Holloway,” Landon said. “Their discussion forums are full of outrage that you’ve trained your dog to detonate explosives.”
    “There’s no proof of that,” Holloway said.
    “Proof is not something that is of great concern to these people, Mr. Holloway,” Landon said.
    “Where are the two of you going with this?” Holloway asked. “Because if you don’t mind, I’d rather we just cut to the chase.”
    “Fine,” Aubrey said. “Here it is. I think you’ll be a public relations disaster that ZaraCorp doesn’t need. I think it’d be better for all of us, including you, if you just went away. So I want to buy you out.”
    “Really,” Holloway said. “And I suppose it would be too much to assume you want to buy me out for what my percentage of this sunstone seam is actually worth.”
    “We don’t know what it’s worth,” Aubrey said.
    “Your Director of Exploitation estimated eight hundred billion to one-point-two trillion credits,” Holloway said. “I remember those sums quite clearly. I’m sure you do, too.”
    “Be that as it may, there are any number of variables,” Landon said. “Sunstone density. Environmental challenges to exploiting the seam. Market forces.”
    “ZaraCorp has spent decades building up sunstones as the rarest gem in the universe,” Holloway said. “I think we can assume it’s done its job, marketwise.”
    “The sheer size of this find could create a glut,” Aubrey said.
    Holloway looked over at Aubrey. “Let’s you and I pretend that we both know what the phrase monopoly on distribution means in this context,” he said. “So. What are you offering?”
    Aubrey looked over at Landon. “Three hundred fifty million credits,” Landon said.
    “All at once?” Holloway said.
    “Over ten years,” Landon said.
    “You’ve got to be joking,” Holloway said. “You want me to sell out for less than ten percent of what my claim is worth, and you won’t even give it to me all at once?”
    “Thirty-five million a year is not an insignificant amount of money,” Landon observed. “Especially for someone like you, who has grossed twenty-one thousand credits in the last year.”
    “I agree,” Holloway said. “But a hundred million a year or so is an even less insignificant amount of money, isn’t it.”
    “We’d also offer you warrants on ZaraCorp stock,” Landon said.
    “Voting stock?” Holloway asked.
    “Of course not,” Landon said, annoyed. Only Aubrey family members received voting stock. “Class B.”
    “With my hundred million a year, I could buy as much Class B ZaraCorp stock as I want,” Holloway said. “And maybe some BlueSky stock, too. To diversify my E and E sector portfolio.”
    “Christ,” Aubrey said. The mention of BlueSky appeared to have pinked him a bit. “Let’s get this over with. Five hundred million credits, Holloway, in your account, right now. Take it, jump the next ship off Zara Twenty-three with your dog, and be the single richest contractor in the history of ZaraCorp.”
    “What’s the catch?” Holloway said.
    “No catch,” Aubrey said. “Landon here can call up the amount and we can do it right here on this rockpile. But you have to give up all rights and claims. And then you have to leave.”
    “How much time do I have to think about this?” Holloway asked.
    “Until I get bored with you and walk away,” Aubrey said.
    “Well, in that case, I’ll give you my answer now,” Holloway said. “Which is that you can take your offer and jam it sideways. I don’t like being pressured into making deals, and I don’t give a damn whether you’re going to run the company one day or not. I have legal rights to this claim. I’m going to