From Dream to Destiny: The Ten Tests You Must Go Through to Fulfill God's Purpose for Your Life by Robert Morris

that hurt the spouse the most, far more deeply than the immorality.
    The Importance of Accountability
    So if you struggle in this area, run to your spouse, not away from him or her. Go to your spouse and say, “I love you. I want only you. But sexual temptation is so pervasive in our society, and I’ve adopted some practices that I should not have. I don’t want to do these things anymore, and I want to make myself accountable.” It will help you immeasurablyif you will just be honest, be open about it and make yourself accountable to someone.
    Years ago I made the decision to be accountable, not only to Debbie but also to my friends. Being accountable has not been easy, but it has proved to be a good and healthy thing.
    Just a few months ago one of the elders of our church checked up on me, and that didn’t offend me at all.
    He asked me, “How are you doing in this area?”
    I said, “I’m doing very well in this area. Thank you for asking. Debbie and I are doing great, and I’m doing well.”
    “Great,” he said. “I know that God is blessing us as a church. And I just want you to know that I’ll help you, if this area should become a problem. If the enemy attacks you, I want you to know that you’ve got a brother who will help you.”
    I appreciated that. That is a good thing! That is healthy!
    But arriving at the decision to be accountable is not always easy or comfortable. When I decided to make myself accountable to Debbie, we had been married about seven years. I sat her down and said to her, “I need to come clean with you about my past. You know that I have an immoral past—but I want to tell you
everything
about my past.” Then I told her everything.
    Now I have a very bad past, and I thought she would be shocked. I was actually afraid she would leave me. I was afraid she would say, “You’re a pervert”—and then leave. That is really what I thought. But despite my fears, I knew that I needed to bring my struggle out into the open. So I said to her, “That’s it, there is the truth. That is who you really married.”
    But God had a surprise for me. Instead of rejecting me, Debbie said, “I knew that you were bad when I married you. I knew that, but I love you anyway. One thing I really love about you is that you’re not dishonest about it. You know when you’ve been bad, you tell God when you’ve been bad, and you allow God to work in your life. That is the best thing that you can do.”
    Then I told her that I had a habit I needed to break—a habit of looking. And I asked for her help. I made myself accountable to her.
    “I don’t want to look, but I need some help,” I said. “Will you help me? If you see me looking, I want you to pray for me. I want you to talk to me about it. And I want you to call me on it.”
    I had no idea how quickly my request would be answered. Soon after that we took a vacation and were at the swimming pool. Needless to say, that is a very hard place not to look! Sure enough, a lady walked by me and I was looking. The next thing I knew, Debbie had reached over and pinched me right where no person should ever be pinched—on the back of my arm. She grabbed my skin in a very painful squeeze, looked into my eyes with intense determination and asked with great seriousness in her voice, “Do I need to pray for you?”
    Don’t let anyone deceive you. Immorality in your own life will have a negative impact on the lives of your children.
    Believe me, after several pinches like that, you quit looking! If you have struggled with looking and with lust, I want to encourage you to become accountable to someone whom you trust. It has helped me, and it will help you too. Bringing your struggles into the light is a good and healthy thing. Because lust does not begin in the heart—it begins in the eyes.
    Impurity Will Affect Your Family
    If someone tells you that impurity will not affect your children, that person is either a liar or is greatly deceived. Your