she says. ‘By the way, Jack called me looking for you. Your mobile must have been switched off.’
‘ Oh! What did you tell him?’
‘ The truth, of course. You were with Blake.’
‘ What did he say?’
‘ He went dead silent for a while, and then he asked me if I thought you were safe. I said I didn’t know, but that you thought you would be. Then he hung up.’
I bite my bottom lip.
‘ You should call him. He worries about you.’
‘ I will. This afternoon.’
‘ So how’s it going at casa Blake?’
I expel my breath in a rush. ‘I don’t know, Billie. I might as well be a blow-up doll for all the use I am to him. It’s really just sex. He’s so remote, so angry, and so hurt. I don’t believe I’ll ever be able to reach him. He wants revenge, but he doesn’t have the stomach for it.’
‘ What kind of revenge?’ An edge has crept into Billie’s voice.
‘ Sexual humiliation. Last night he used a…vibrator on me.’ I flush bright red. The words were almost impossible for me to get out.
Billie laughs. ‘You are so weird. That’s not sexual humiliation. Everybody uses them. If anyone offers to use one on me I’m going to lie back, open my legs as wide as they will go and ask them to knock themselves out.’
‘ You don’t understand, Billie. He did it because he understands that I’m sexually repressed.’
‘ Oh for heaven’s sake. You cried, didn’t you?’
I nod and play with a chopstick. ‘What would you do if you were me, Billie?’
‘ First off, I’m not you. I don’t think I could ever be in such a fucked up situation.’
‘ But if you were,’ I insist.
‘ Then I would drink at least half a bottle of vodka and challenge him to do his worst. Press all his buttons and push him mercilessly until he loses his tightly reined sense of control. And then it would all be over and done with. Mind you, I wouldn’t if I thought he was capable of truly hurting me. But you’re a thousand percent sure Blake is not, right?’
‘ A thousand percent. He is cold, not cruel.’
I pay the bill with the new Platinum credit card that I have not applied for, but arrived for me this morning. Billie raises an impressed eyebrow but says nothing.
Afterwards we spend a pleasant afternoon in Whiteley’s Shopping Centre. There is nothing I want, but I treat Billie to a really cool pair of cowboy boots, which she adored, and we buy some divinely soft bedding for Sorab. Stuff I could never afford before.
Everything goes on the new card. It has a ninety thousand pounds credit limit on it.
After Tom drops Billie and Sorab off I phone Jack.
‘ Are you all right?’ is the first thing that Jack utters.
‘ He’s not capable of hurting me, Jack,’ I reply.
‘ It’s not him I’m worried about.’
‘ Victoria won’t do anything to me.’
‘ Lana, she paid you two hundred thousand pounds to get lost. You took her money and now you’re back with her guy and you don’t think she’s going to retaliate?’
Oh God! Put like that it did seem I was being stupid in the extreme. ‘I didn’t go looking for him, Jack. He found me. Besides it’s only for 42 days.’
‘ 42 days?’
‘ He just wants me to finish my contract. There’s 42 days left of it. Well, forty-one now.’
‘ Lana, I’m a man and I’m telling you no man wants a woman for just 42 days. It’s not going to end in 42 days. I can give that to you in blood right now. You’re going to be his mistress until the day comes when he is finally bored with your body. Is that what you want for yourself?’
That feels like a low blow and yet it is the truth. ‘I don’t know what I want anymore, Jack. All I know is at the moment I am with Blake for forty-one days. I’m playing it by ear.’
Jack sighs heavily. ‘All right, Lana, but promise me you will take care of yourself, though. The first smallest sign that
‘ Oh! What did you tell him?’
‘ The truth, of course. You were with Blake.’
‘ What did he say?’
‘ He went dead silent for a while, and then he asked me if I thought you were safe. I said I didn’t know, but that you thought you would be. Then he hung up.’
I bite my bottom lip.
‘ You should call him. He worries about you.’
‘ I will. This afternoon.’
‘ So how’s it going at casa Blake?’
I expel my breath in a rush. ‘I don’t know, Billie. I might as well be a blow-up doll for all the use I am to him. It’s really just sex. He’s so remote, so angry, and so hurt. I don’t believe I’ll ever be able to reach him. He wants revenge, but he doesn’t have the stomach for it.’
‘ What kind of revenge?’ An edge has crept into Billie’s voice.
‘ Sexual humiliation. Last night he used a…vibrator on me.’ I flush bright red. The words were almost impossible for me to get out.
Billie laughs. ‘You are so weird. That’s not sexual humiliation. Everybody uses them. If anyone offers to use one on me I’m going to lie back, open my legs as wide as they will go and ask them to knock themselves out.’
‘ You don’t understand, Billie. He did it because he understands that I’m sexually repressed.’
‘ Oh for heaven’s sake. You cried, didn’t you?’
I nod and play with a chopstick. ‘What would you do if you were me, Billie?’
‘ First off, I’m not you. I don’t think I could ever be in such a fucked up situation.’
‘ But if you were,’ I insist.
‘ Then I would drink at least half a bottle of vodka and challenge him to do his worst. Press all his buttons and push him mercilessly until he loses his tightly reined sense of control. And then it would all be over and done with. Mind you, I wouldn’t if I thought he was capable of truly hurting me. But you’re a thousand percent sure Blake is not, right?’
‘ A thousand percent. He is cold, not cruel.’
I pay the bill with the new Platinum credit card that I have not applied for, but arrived for me this morning. Billie raises an impressed eyebrow but says nothing.
Afterwards we spend a pleasant afternoon in Whiteley’s Shopping Centre. There is nothing I want, but I treat Billie to a really cool pair of cowboy boots, which she adored, and we buy some divinely soft bedding for Sorab. Stuff I could never afford before.
Everything goes on the new card. It has a ninety thousand pounds credit limit on it.
After Tom drops Billie and Sorab off I phone Jack.
‘ Are you all right?’ is the first thing that Jack utters.
‘ He’s not capable of hurting me, Jack,’ I reply.
‘ It’s not him I’m worried about.’
‘ Victoria won’t do anything to me.’
‘ Lana, she paid you two hundred thousand pounds to get lost. You took her money and now you’re back with her guy and you don’t think she’s going to retaliate?’
Oh God! Put like that it did seem I was being stupid in the extreme. ‘I didn’t go looking for him, Jack. He found me. Besides it’s only for 42 days.’
‘ 42 days?’
‘ He just wants me to finish my contract. There’s 42 days left of it. Well, forty-one now.’
‘ Lana, I’m a man and I’m telling you no man wants a woman for just 42 days. It’s not going to end in 42 days. I can give that to you in blood right now. You’re going to be his mistress until the day comes when he is finally bored with your body. Is that what you want for yourself?’
That feels like a low blow and yet it is the truth. ‘I don’t know what I want anymore, Jack. All I know is at the moment I am with Blake for forty-one days. I’m playing it by ear.’
Jack sighs heavily. ‘All right, Lana, but promise me you will take care of yourself, though. The first smallest sign that
Similar Books
