very first kiss. His blue eyes wide as he asked breathlessly if he could ring her.
She remembered their first time together, right through to when he’d returned from Sydney, standing in the bar, and her heart had swelled at seeing him again. She had missed him. “I still love you, Ian.”
He nodded, a tear sliding down his cheek. “Love you too, Fin.”
Ian wrapped his arms around her and buried his head in her neck. “Let’s not be friends, okay? Not for a while at least. I can’t—” his voice cracked.
“Oh God, Ian. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t be the person you need me to be,” she whispered through tears.
He took a deep breath and pulled back, his eyes red. “I guess this is what they talk about when they say people just grow apart. We can’t force something that isn’t working, right?”
Fin wiped at the tears on her cheeks. “I’m tired of saying goodbye to people I love.”
He stood up, bringing her with him, and set her on her feet. “Then let’s not say goodbye. Just …” He paused and pulled car keys from his pocket before meeting her eyes. “See you later, Fin.”
She pressed her lips together, her heart aching. “See you later, Ian,” she whispered thickly.
His eyes searched her face, then he nodded once and turned. Striding down the hallway, he didn’t look back as he opened and shut the door behind him.
She grabbed blindly for her phone off the table where she’d left it and dialled Rachael.
“Hey, Fin!”
A sob broke free.
“Oh shit. What?”
“Ian,” she managed to say.
“Do you have wine?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Good. I’ll be right there.”
Fin exhaled deeply. “Thanks.”
Two weeks later
Camp Holland Military Base
Tarin Kowt, Afghanistan
Ryan stretched out on his bunk and tried to sleep in the late afternoon. They were only two days in on a recuperation period before heading out on another patrol in just over a week, and he was desperate for some quiet.
Jake walked in, throwing himself down in the bunk opposite. A guitar was sitting ominously in his lap.
“Oh hell no, Tanner.”
Jake settled his fingers on the strings and strummed a chord that had Ryan grinding his teeth. He looked up, raising his brows innocently. “Did you say something, Kendall?”
“Take that thing outside. Go play it in the shithouse where it belongs.”
Jake’s fingers fumbled as he struggled to find the note he was looking for. “What are you trying to say? You don’t like my playing?”
“I thought we hid that fucking thing from you in Monty’s room,” Ryan muttered.
Jake strummed another chord and grinned. “I found it, asshole. Couldn’t find my sheet music though, so I’m just gonna have to play by ear.”
“You do remember me telling Fin that Crookshanks could play that thing better than you, right?”
Jake strummed the strings in rapid succession, the sound so painful a passing soldier muttered a solid “fuck” as he passed by their bunk.
“So? I’d be able to practice better if you didn’t keep bitching me out.”
“Jesus. I thought you hid that bloody guitar, Kendall!” came a loud yell from Kyle in the bunk across the hall. “Keep that shit up, Tanner, and I’m gonna come in there and break that thing across your face!”
Jake kept plucking away at the strings.
“I think Brooks was serious,” Ryan warned.
Jake set the guitar aside and focused his eyes on Ryan.
“What?”
“I got a couple of emails from Fin,” Jake replied.
Lacing his fingers behind his head, he stared at the bunk above him and took a deep breath. “Yeah?”
“The first one says she’s home safe.”
Ryan closed his eyes for a moment.
“Did she mention me?” Kyle yelled out from across the hall.
“She says she hopes you live a very long and miserable life,” Jake called back. “Oh, and she brought you back a penguin.”
“Fuck yeah,” Ryan heard him say. “I’m in.”
Ryan raised a brow at Jake and Jake shook his head,
She remembered their first time together, right through to when he’d returned from Sydney, standing in the bar, and her heart had swelled at seeing him again. She had missed him. “I still love you, Ian.”
He nodded, a tear sliding down his cheek. “Love you too, Fin.”
Ian wrapped his arms around her and buried his head in her neck. “Let’s not be friends, okay? Not for a while at least. I can’t—” his voice cracked.
“Oh God, Ian. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I can’t be the person you need me to be,” she whispered through tears.
He took a deep breath and pulled back, his eyes red. “I guess this is what they talk about when they say people just grow apart. We can’t force something that isn’t working, right?”
Fin wiped at the tears on her cheeks. “I’m tired of saying goodbye to people I love.”
He stood up, bringing her with him, and set her on her feet. “Then let’s not say goodbye. Just …” He paused and pulled car keys from his pocket before meeting her eyes. “See you later, Fin.”
She pressed her lips together, her heart aching. “See you later, Ian,” she whispered thickly.
His eyes searched her face, then he nodded once and turned. Striding down the hallway, he didn’t look back as he opened and shut the door behind him.
She grabbed blindly for her phone off the table where she’d left it and dialled Rachael.
“Hey, Fin!”
A sob broke free.
“Oh shit. What?”
“Ian,” she managed to say.
“Do you have wine?”
“Yes,” she whispered.
“Good. I’ll be right there.”
Fin exhaled deeply. “Thanks.”
Two weeks later
Camp Holland Military Base
Tarin Kowt, Afghanistan
Ryan stretched out on his bunk and tried to sleep in the late afternoon. They were only two days in on a recuperation period before heading out on another patrol in just over a week, and he was desperate for some quiet.
Jake walked in, throwing himself down in the bunk opposite. A guitar was sitting ominously in his lap.
“Oh hell no, Tanner.”
Jake settled his fingers on the strings and strummed a chord that had Ryan grinding his teeth. He looked up, raising his brows innocently. “Did you say something, Kendall?”
“Take that thing outside. Go play it in the shithouse where it belongs.”
Jake’s fingers fumbled as he struggled to find the note he was looking for. “What are you trying to say? You don’t like my playing?”
“I thought we hid that fucking thing from you in Monty’s room,” Ryan muttered.
Jake strummed another chord and grinned. “I found it, asshole. Couldn’t find my sheet music though, so I’m just gonna have to play by ear.”
“You do remember me telling Fin that Crookshanks could play that thing better than you, right?”
Jake strummed the strings in rapid succession, the sound so painful a passing soldier muttered a solid “fuck” as he passed by their bunk.
“So? I’d be able to practice better if you didn’t keep bitching me out.”
“Jesus. I thought you hid that bloody guitar, Kendall!” came a loud yell from Kyle in the bunk across the hall. “Keep that shit up, Tanner, and I’m gonna come in there and break that thing across your face!”
Jake kept plucking away at the strings.
“I think Brooks was serious,” Ryan warned.
Jake set the guitar aside and focused his eyes on Ryan.
“What?”
“I got a couple of emails from Fin,” Jake replied.
Lacing his fingers behind his head, he stared at the bunk above him and took a deep breath. “Yeah?”
“The first one says she’s home safe.”
Ryan closed his eyes for a moment.
“Did she mention me?” Kyle yelled out from across the hall.
“She says she hopes you live a very long and miserable life,” Jake called back. “Oh, and she brought you back a penguin.”
“Fuck yeah,” Ryan heard him say. “I’m in.”
Ryan raised a brow at Jake and Jake shook his head,
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