behind lawn mowers, behind the television, all I can hear is a sound like somebody crying.
It stops when the music stops, or the lawn mower stops, or when I switch off the TV. Or when I turn off the taps of the shower.
Sometimes, behind the shower and behind the music, and behind the crying, I hear the telephone ringing too.
Sometimes I am so sure that the phone is ringing I turnoff the shower and stand there naked listening.
It’s never the telephone. The telephone never rings.
Do you think there’s something wrong with me?
Love from
Elizabeth
PS You asked what happened to me, and I don’t mind telling you, that’s fine. It was nothing really. Nothing important like thinking I’m pregnant or breaking up with a boyfriend. It was just something small and stupid. I’m too embarrassed to tell you because it’s small and stupid. Maybe tomorrow.
Dearest, dearest Elizabeth,
You are crazy.
Not because you’re hearing sounds and everything, I’ve got a feeling that’s normal. I asked my mother about it and she said she gets exactly the same thing. (I didn’t tell her it was you, I just asked her like hypothetically ). That’s the crying sound – my mum gets that too. That’s probably because she’s got hyper-sensitive baby radar switched on, and she’s hearing all the babies in the world whenever they cry. Maybe you’ve got the same thing? Maybe you’re hearing LAUREN cry whenever you hear a crying sound? She’s crying a lot lately because she’s getting a new tooth, so probably that’s it.
But the telephone ringing sound, everybody gets. I do for sure. The whole time I’m working in the florist shop I’m picking up the phone and there’s nobody there. It turnsout it was just a bird singing or someone wheeling a rubbish bin round the back of the shop.
It’s because I keep expecting the phone to ring, because I think Derek’s going to call.
But he hasn’t called.
Anyway, you’re still crazy. Because it’s crazy to be too embarrassed to tell me something that has got you upset. God, Derek’s an idiot who can’t stop talking about his muscles and whistling stupid shit – how can it be the biggest thing in the world that we broke up? It’s not. And it’s not important that I thought I was pregnant. It would be important if I was pregnant, but I’m not. Even if I was, that wouldn’t make things that happened to you stupid. Anything that makes you feel unhappy is important and I really want to know, and see if I can help you.
Please stop being crazy.
Lots of love,
Christina
Dear Christina,
Okay, I’ll tell you what happened.
But trust me, it’s just stupid.
Well, Celia and Saxon and I got the train back from Coffs Harbour and it was really cool. We were all getting on so well, and sometimes we read books or magazines, and sometimes we played games like Hangman or Boxes, and sometimes we just talked. We had great conversations, everyone saying funny things and everyone laughing. One time we decidedto get food, and Saxon and I insisted that Celia stay sitting while we went and got it for her. Because she’s still not very well, see. We were looking after her, and both of us making sure she was warm and drinking plenty of water and everything.
Saxon and I walked all along the train, right up to the other end looking for somewhere to buy food. He checked that I was okay in the scary bits between the carriages, when the train’s shaking and it feels like the metal bits are going to collapse beneath your feet. That’s how I feel between carriages anyway. And Saxon held open the door for me, and even took my hand sometimes to make sure I was all right.
We got right up to the other end of the train and there was no cafeteria carriage. We had to turn around and go all the way back. We went past Celia really quietly so she wouldn’t know we’d gone in the wrong direction, and she didn’t see us because she was leaning her cheek against the window and
It stops when the music stops, or the lawn mower stops, or when I switch off the TV. Or when I turn off the taps of the shower.
Sometimes, behind the shower and behind the music, and behind the crying, I hear the telephone ringing too.
Sometimes I am so sure that the phone is ringing I turnoff the shower and stand there naked listening.
It’s never the telephone. The telephone never rings.
Do you think there’s something wrong with me?
Love from
Elizabeth
PS You asked what happened to me, and I don’t mind telling you, that’s fine. It was nothing really. Nothing important like thinking I’m pregnant or breaking up with a boyfriend. It was just something small and stupid. I’m too embarrassed to tell you because it’s small and stupid. Maybe tomorrow.
Dearest, dearest Elizabeth,
You are crazy.
Not because you’re hearing sounds and everything, I’ve got a feeling that’s normal. I asked my mother about it and she said she gets exactly the same thing. (I didn’t tell her it was you, I just asked her like hypothetically ). That’s the crying sound – my mum gets that too. That’s probably because she’s got hyper-sensitive baby radar switched on, and she’s hearing all the babies in the world whenever they cry. Maybe you’ve got the same thing? Maybe you’re hearing LAUREN cry whenever you hear a crying sound? She’s crying a lot lately because she’s getting a new tooth, so probably that’s it.
But the telephone ringing sound, everybody gets. I do for sure. The whole time I’m working in the florist shop I’m picking up the phone and there’s nobody there. It turnsout it was just a bird singing or someone wheeling a rubbish bin round the back of the shop.
It’s because I keep expecting the phone to ring, because I think Derek’s going to call.
But he hasn’t called.
Anyway, you’re still crazy. Because it’s crazy to be too embarrassed to tell me something that has got you upset. God, Derek’s an idiot who can’t stop talking about his muscles and whistling stupid shit – how can it be the biggest thing in the world that we broke up? It’s not. And it’s not important that I thought I was pregnant. It would be important if I was pregnant, but I’m not. Even if I was, that wouldn’t make things that happened to you stupid. Anything that makes you feel unhappy is important and I really want to know, and see if I can help you.
Please stop being crazy.
Lots of love,
Christina
Dear Christina,
Okay, I’ll tell you what happened.
But trust me, it’s just stupid.
Well, Celia and Saxon and I got the train back from Coffs Harbour and it was really cool. We were all getting on so well, and sometimes we read books or magazines, and sometimes we played games like Hangman or Boxes, and sometimes we just talked. We had great conversations, everyone saying funny things and everyone laughing. One time we decidedto get food, and Saxon and I insisted that Celia stay sitting while we went and got it for her. Because she’s still not very well, see. We were looking after her, and both of us making sure she was warm and drinking plenty of water and everything.
Saxon and I walked all along the train, right up to the other end looking for somewhere to buy food. He checked that I was okay in the scary bits between the carriages, when the train’s shaking and it feels like the metal bits are going to collapse beneath your feet. That’s how I feel between carriages anyway. And Saxon held open the door for me, and even took my hand sometimes to make sure I was all right.
We got right up to the other end of the train and there was no cafeteria carriage. We had to turn around and go all the way back. We went past Celia really quietly so she wouldn’t know we’d gone in the wrong direction, and she didn’t see us because she was leaning her cheek against the window and
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