Let Me Tell You Something by Caroline Manzo

waiting for them at three o’clock.
    From the moment I picked them up at school, I was Mommy again. I was home with them for the rest of the day, and when I was home with them, I was really with them. That means I put my phone down and turned off the computer. We would play, we’d talk about what they’d done that day; we’d eat and laugh.
    Ask Caroline
    Dear Caroline, What are the best and worst things you’ve done in regards to parenting your children? And does your faith have anything to do with that?
    Wow, what a great question. I wish I had a simple answer for you. The best thing I’ve done is to treat my children as individuals and never compare one to the other. I can’t answer the worst thing. I would only feel like something was the worst if we’d failed our kids in some way. We’ve made mistakes along the way, but I can’t think of anything that qualifies as a specific worst thing. Al and I put our hearts and souls into raising our kids, so I have no regrets. Faith plays a part in every aspect of our lives, but we don’t throw our hands up and leave things up to just faith. We always work at things.
    When I tucked the kids into bed each night, I would once again switch back into being a businesswoman. I’d get on the computer, send e-mails to clients, set up appointments for showings, and coordinate complicated real estate sales until Al got home from The Brownstone. Then he and I would have our time together. I barely slept and I was always tired, but I was happy and I felt like I was there for my kids.
    Every now and then, we’d get a sitter and have a night to ourselves. We’d let the kids stay up a bit later on those nights, and make it a little special for them. We generally only did this occasionally to catch up with other adult friends or see a movie that wasn’t right for the kids. Most of the time, though, I wanted my kids around me.
    In the back of my mind, I always knew my kids were truly only “mine” for a fixed time before they became adults and started lives of their own. Being aware of that influenced the decisions I made as a parent. I never wanted to miss those special moments with them, and some of the most memorable times were the ordinary nights spent around our kitchen table.
    I also never wanted to vacation without them. Many of the other local kids went on these all-summer-long trips by themselves to different countries while their parents would have a kid-free summer. Everybody got a break, but I never understood it. Because Al worked so much, being able to have time together as a family was always so precious. I never even sent my kids away to camp, partially because Italians don’t do camp, but also because we went on family vacations. Road trips. Up to Cape Cod, down to Cape May. They were great times. I will treasure those memories forever.
    Because I understood that my kids’ childhoods were fleeting, and I knew I could not press some button to turn back the clock, it never felt like a chore for me to go and watch a hockey game, a school play, or a dance recital. I didn’t feel obligated to do these things; I wanted to. Every parent knows how tedious a school play can be when your own kid isn’t actually on the stage. But as soon as we would get home, it was always clear that my kids were thrilled that I’d been there for them. We could then talk, laugh, and gossip about their performances. I still remember watching Lauren, wearing some crazy outfit while hip-hop dancing to ’N Sync. She had the biggest smile while she pulled off all these complicated moves.
    I hardly ever missed anything that my kids did, and I still deeply regret the things I did miss. I couldn’t be at one of Lauren’s dance recitals when she was six because my sister had a destination wedding—no kids invited. I felt terrible about it. I went to Lauren’s full dress rehearsal the night before we left and made