system worked well for us and it didnât undermine my husbandâs original decision either.
We saw so many parents who used their children as pawns when they were fighting, trying to buy their childrenâs affection at the expense of their relationship with the other parent. Al and I never wanted to be like that. No matter how bad things can get in a marriage, itâs never appropriate to pin all the hard calls on your husband just so you can play good cop. Even if you come to hate your spouse, you have to respect that your partner is just as much your kidâs parent as you are.
We were so careful to never disagree that we had a rule: if the kids sprung something on us that we werenât prepared for, weâd tell them weâd let them know later. Weâd meet up in private and discuss it, and weâd deliver our verdict later. To this day, when the kids ask Al about something, his answer will always be, âWhat did your mother say?ââand Iâm beyond proud to say that my husband of thirty years and I have never fought about something to do with our kids.
Overprotective parents
raise underprepared kids.
Kids are kids, not idiots. I keep seeing âexpertsâ on TV talking about how itâs important to shield kids from the harsh realities of the world when theyâre too young to understand. This kind of advice makes me see red. Children have to realize that there is hurt in the real world, and itâs up to the parents to make sure theyâre prepared to deal with it.
You need to raise warriors. Kids canât win every contest or be student of the month every month. They have to be benched on the team and earn their spot to play. They arenât going to be invited to every birthday party, and thatâs OK. Not everyone in the world is going to like them, thatâs the truth. Itâs your job as a parent, especially when your children are very young, to get them ready for the day when youâre not there to defend them. If you keep your children in a protective bubble, they will never survive in the real world.
Iâll never forget when the kids were younger and one of their friendâs parents was shocked by my decision to allow them to watch Rugrats ! This parent told me that she had banned her kids from watching the show because the cartoon characters bickered and called each other âstupidââI was incredulous. I looked this woman straight in the eye. âWhat the hell are you talking about, lady?â I said. Life is not all lollipops and roses. To not prepare your child for the real world is the biggest disservice you could ever do to your children.
Our kids watched Bambi and every single Disney movie ever madeâand when there was a sad part we talked about it. Itâs crazy to me when parents wonât let their kids watch this classic movie. I truly believe theyâre robbing them of an experience that is an integral part of modern childhood. Itâs not a violent bloody portrayalâitâs a sad fact of life, beautifully handled. My kids understood that sometimes sad things happen in life, but life goes on and what matters most is how you handle those unfortunate situations.
From a young age our kids were exposed to many of the harsher realities in life, including the concept of being homeless. On the morning of December 26 each year, we asked the kids to go through their room and pull out anything they didnât want anymore, from clothes to toys to books. They gave me their goods and weâd put their castoffs on a table at The Brownstone during the charity lunch later that day. The homeless kids would throw themselves at the table. Theyâd be so excited to get something that my kids had thrown away. Weâd make them see that something that they had discarded was making another child so happy, that was the lesson we wanted them to learn. We pushed our kids to go and introduce themselves to these
Lauren Henderson
Linda Sole
Kristy Nicolle
Alex Barclay
P. G. Wodehouse
David B. Coe
Jake Mactire
Emme Rollins
C. C. Benison
Skye Turner, Kari Ayasha