Summer Moonshine

Summer Moonshine by P. G. Wodehouse

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Authors: P. G. Wodehouse
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don't you think it would be as well to see him and tell him that if he's around these parts
tomorrow, you will twist his neck and drop him in the river? It can't do any harm.'
    'Yes, it can. And I'll tell you why. What about Jane biting a piece out of my leg for talking tough to her boy friend. And here's another thought: Suppose Peake went and told Heloise. She's pretty sold on him. No, I'm well out of it, I guess. It would never have done, anyway. . . . Hey!' said Tubby, driving a finger into Joe's ribs. He indicated a stocky figure approaching across the terrace. 'Here comes Sir Buckstone. I'll leave you to it.'

CHAPTER 9
    S IR Buckstone Abbot's weather-beaten face seemed to be wavering between a hospitable smile and the rigidity of embarrassment. In the manner in which he smacked his gaitered leg with his hunting crop there was something almost coy. Joe gathered that he did not, as a rule, conduct these business conferences in person.
    'Mr Vanringham?'
    'How do you do?'
    'How do you do?'
    'I have been admiring your view,' said Joe agreeably.
    Sir Buckstone took a look at it and delivered another onslaught on his leg.
    'Eh? Oh, yes, capital view. The river and all that.'
    'Yes.'
    'On a clear day you can see to – I forget where, but quite a distance.'
    'It's pretty clear this morning.'
    'Oh, very. Yes, nice and clear. Er – your brother tells me, Mr Vanringham – I hear that you – ah—'
    'Yes.'
    'Delighted. We are all very fond of your brother. Tubby, eh? Ha-ha! Tubby.'
    'I hope you will have room for me at the Hall.'
    'Oh, yes, lots of room. Big place. Costs the deuce of a lot to keep up. Er – ha – hr'rmph,' said Sir Buckstone, catching himself a nasty one with the hunting crop.
    Joe felt that the time had come to help him out.
    'When I was chatting with my brother, Sir Buckstone, I rather got the impression that before a fellow entered into residence at Walsingford Hall, there were certain formalities to be observed. Putting it briefly, he hinted that one had got to come across.'
    A look of relief came into the Baronet's face. As Joe had surmised, he seldom appeared at these business chats in person. He eyed Joe with affection, approving of his tact.
    'Well, as a matter of fact,' he said, 'yes. One or two of my guests do pay a sort of – er – nominal sum. Helps to keep things going and all that sort of thing. But I usually leave—That is to say, my secretary, Miss Whittaker, generally attends—In short, I am not quite sure—'
    Once more Joe felt impelled to help out:
    'Perhaps if I had a talk with Miss Whittaker—'
    'Yes, that is what I should suggest.'
    'I shall enjoy meeting Miss Whittaker again.'
    'You've met her?'
    'We have had one short but very agreeable interview. Almost a romp it became at one time. Shall we go and find her, then?'
    'Certainly By all means.' Sir Buckstone coughed. He had taken a great liking to this young man, and benevolence was struggling with the business sense. 'You – er – you mustn't let her overcharge you.'
    'Oh, that's all right.'
    'She sometimes allows her anxiety to help to – er – colour her views on—'
    That's quite all right.' It occurred to Joe that this was an excellent opportunity to give the father of the girl he loved some idea of his financial condition. Fathers like to know these things. 'Money means nothing to me.'
    'It doesn't?' said Sir Buckstone, startled. They had been strolling along the terrace, but he now halted in order to get a better view of this lusus nature.
    'Not a thing. You see, I've so much of it. And pouring in all the time. Take this play of mine that's running in London now.'
    'You're a dramatist, are you?'
    'Yes. Well, as I say, take this play of mine. An enormous success. Suppose we put my royalties for the London run at ten thousand pounds.'
    'Ten thousand?'
    'We want to be conservative.'
    'Of course. Conservative, yes.'
    'Then, on top of that there are the provincial rights, the American rights, the Australian rights, the picture

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