Fearless by Chris O'Guinn

kill him!
    Zach, I noticed, had gone on his merry way.
    “He’s straight, or so he says,” Liam remarked as he sat down again.
    “What did you say ?” I demanded. How could he be this casual about these things?
    “I asked him if he was gay or bi, is all. He said he’s straight and asked if I was hitting on him. I said I wasn’t, that I was asking for a friend.”
    I stared at Liam. It was the nicest, bravest thing anyone had ever done for me. He was completely insane and had no respect for the rules of high school, but I couldn’t get past how incredibly sweet it was.
    So I decided to not kill him—yet.
    “You’re nuts.”
    “You’re welcome,” he said with a grin.
    Knowing for sure that Zach was straight didn’t really change my world any, so I wasn’t crushed with disappointment or anything. Fantasies aside, I knew I never had a chance with him, so his orientation didn’t actually matter.
    At practice, I was about twenty percent less nervous than I had been the first time. I had more of an idea what to expect, the coach didn’t seem to regret asking me to join the team and even walking around mostly naked was less scary.
    Of course, letting my guard down was a serious mistake.
    As the guys horsed around while waiting for the coach to come out, I kept the same distance that I had before. I was watching Liam out of the corner of my eye and wondering what he looked for in a shot he chose to take.
    My suit was suddenly yanked down below my ass.
    The guys howled with laughter. I freaked out and reached down to yank it back up, cursing myself for forgetting the drawstring. I couldn’t very well run and hide with my suit pulled down, after all.
    But somewhere in the storm of panic and humiliation, I realized Liam was watching me and I didn’t want to let him down. Isn’t that nuts? I found myself wondering, “What would Liam do?” It was insane, because I was definitely not Liam. I didn’t have his courage or his wit. But that part of me that has trouble with running when I should met up with his words about not living in fear and something inside me just sort of shifted.
    I turned on Jimmy and made myself smile. Slowly and casually, I pulled my suit back up like I didn’t really care. It was the best acting job of my life, since tears of humiliation were only being held back with willpower. Like Liam had said, though, if I couldn’t be brave then I could fake it.
    “If you wanted a look, sweetie, you could have just asked.”
    I was proud of myself for the little sneer I put on my face. And that I managed to not shake in terror.
    The laughter stopped. A chorus of “Ooohs” rang out. Jimmy’s smirk twisted into a furious glare—the ugliest expression I’d yet seen from him. I saw his hands curl into fists. This was no mere boyish banter. I had crossed a line. He was the alpha wolf and I, the stupid lone wolf with no sense, was challenging him in front of the whole pack.
    As scary as it was, it also felt kind of amazing. It sure beat being scared all to pieces. Even if I did get my face broken for it, at least I hadn’t looked like a scared little kid.
    “Okay, boys, let’s gather ‘round, “ Lancaster said, oblivious to the scene he had stumbled into. “Today we’re going to work on the backstroke.”
    “Jimmy would rather work on a different stroke with his new boyfriend,” Chad teased.
    “Fuck you,” Jimmy retorted, rounding on him.
    Mayhem ensued. I rolled my eyes and got away from them, not wanting any part of it. So I think I was the only one who heard that at the end of the week, he would be deciding who stayed and who got cut. I found myself really hoping I made it, which surprised the hell out of me.
    Bailey, who was a short, compact dude with brown curls, sidled over to me. “How many laps did Coach say?”
    “Five,” I replied.
    He thanked me by way of a smile that showed his braces. I smiled back and got to my mark. The backstroke was a weird way to swim, but I did my best