F*ck Feelings by MD Michael Bennett Page B

it’s not to pursue justice or punish unfairness but to accept the unfairness of the world, bear the humiliation and helplessness that go with it, and then seek to do the most good.
    You need to know when to accept the fact that you’ve been fucked and know when fighting will get you further fucked and the only way to make life fair again is to move forward and treat others fairly yourself.
Defending Your Right to Live in Safety
    There’s a certain kind of person—usually middle class, sometimes conservative, always in Florida—who feels that they have a right to live in safety, free from fear. This is an illusion not shared by less lucky people, many of whom are the very people who end up shot by the safety-entitled, often in Florida.
    The danger of believing in your right to security, especially when faced with danger and lawlessness, is that it can draw you into either slow, unwinnable conflicts, or sudden, regrettable acts of rage. You’re safer knowing, from the beginning, that you can never count on safety, rather than having the illusion that it’s something you’re obligated to fight for. You’ll be much better at knowing when to suck it up, shut up, and/or duck and live for a better day.
    The other risk in believing in your right to safety is that you feel you have a right to blame someone if you’re threatened or harmed. Sometimes, in the course of seeking help against your perceived threat, the called policeman arrives on time, the authorities place responsibility fairly, and you either wind up protected or compensated. Most times, however, the timing is wrong, the facts get distorted, and the process of pinning responsibility and getting restitution is prolonged, expensive, and possibly futile. Such ordeals also may then stimulate your tendency to ruminate over could-haves and should-haves and blame yourself. It’s better to avoid the issue of responsibility, get restitution when it’s available, and think of other things.
    Instead of expecting to be safe, assume that every life can, with sufficient bad luck, turn into a war zone—your new neighbor could turn out to be a nut, you could park your car on a sinkhole, you could have a perfect bill of health and get hit by a rogue bus—and fighting to restore your safety may attract more danger and ruin your life.
    If you can accept the fact that you live in a jungle, however, you may not sleep as well at night, but you’ll be more alert to danger. Then you’ll do what you can to preserve your safety, regardless of whether it requires retreat, humiliation, and victory for your enemies. And you’ll avoid blame, regardless of how frustrating it is to keep it inside, unless you’re really lucky (or at least have an excellent attorney).
    You might like yourself better if you could enforce your safety with your own strength, or at least your own firearm (Florida). You deserve more respect, however, when you recognize things are beyond your control, and make whatever tough, humiliating, weaponless steps are necessary to minimize the danger.
    Here’s the safety you should have as a right, but don’t:
    â€¢Â No fires, burglars, or dangerous intruders after you turn off the lights and lock the door (and set the alarm and motion-sensor lights and land mines)
    â€¢Â Safety from vengeful crazy people once the authorities are on the case
    â€¢Â Freedom from any/all car accidents as long as you drive carefully, change your oil, and obey the speed limit exactly
    â€¢Â Prompt assistance from friendly and professional cops if you’ve done nothing wrong and talk politely
    Among the wishes people express are:
    â€¢Â To figure out why they can’t make themselves safe without fleeing or otherwise putting their life at risk
    â€¢Â To get through to authorities who are either failing to protect them or siding with the person who is threatening them
    â€¢Â To figure out what they