shouldn't have. She liked the feeling of his hard chest against her breasts and the muscles of his shoulders under her fingertips. The brief touch had made her incredibly aware of everything about him, and she had practically ignited with desire.
Christian had looked uncomfortable with the gesture, too, but not because he wanted her. She was sure of that. He'd said he wanted to be friends. Not have her throw herself at him.
Although the hug was meant in no way to be a come-on. She'd just felt happy that he'd been there tonight. That he didn't seem to believe Mark's hateful words, and he'd felt strongly enough about her to stop them.
A warm hum joined the lingering low burn in her belly. Having a champion was so novel to her. She could defend herself. She'd done so for years, but tonight she hadn't had the energy for Mark's attack. She was sore and tired and emotionally worn out. And Christian had been there.
He started up the path. She noted the sheep, in the distance behind him. They were bleating and running in the opposite direction from them, but she didn't give their behavior much thought. She was far more worried about what Christian was thinking than what the sheep were.
As he approached, she couldn't tell his thoughts. The darkness shadowed his face, but she knew bright sunlight wouldn't have helped. She was sure his poker face was back in place.
Neither spoke as they started down the road toward the trailer park. After a few steps, he changed positions, shifting to her other side so that he was on the outside, near the road. Being protective again, she realized. She didn't want to lose that. Not yet.
But still neither said a word until the silence threatened to suffocate her. She didn't want the night to end this way. She'd had too much stress, too much angst of late to let go of something nice in her life. And Christian's friendship would be nice. Her attraction to him was torture, but she could control that. She wouldn't let it ruin a friendship. She needed a friend more than a lover.
They turned into the trailer park, and she knew she had to say something. Part of her thought she should let the hugging incident go and talk about something completely different. But another part of her wasn't listening. That part appeared to be running her mouth.
"I hope you know that hug was only intended as a thank you."
"I know," he answered, his voice low and a little husky. He didn't look at her.
"Because I realize you just want to be friends. And that's what I want, too."
He didn't respond, which only spurred her on like a nervous, chattering schoolgirl.
"I wouldn't hit on you, because I know that you don't find me attractive and, well, I wouldn't hit on you anyway, because I'm really not like that. So—»
Christian stopped and caught her fingers, tugging her to face him. "I enjoyed your hug. And I know you only meant it to be a gesture of thanks."
Relief calmed the tightness in her chest. "I'm glad. I–I just don't want you to think that anything Mark said was true."
"I don't."
She smiled and suppressed the urge to hug him again. Talk about learning nothing from past mistakes. Instead she squeezed the hand that held hers.
"Good."
They continued on, their hands still linked as they strolled to their places. Neither seemed in a hurry to get there.
"Jolee."
"Hmm?" she responded, glancing at him.
In the light from their trailers, she could see the strange expression on his face. His pale eyes were intense as he pulled her to a stop and searched her face, scrutinizing each of her features.
He reached up and touched her cheek, his fingers cool against her skin. "I don't think you are unattractive."
"You don't?" She knew it was a rather inane response, but she was so distracted by his sudden touch, and what it was doing to her insides, the brief question was the best she could do.
"I don't," he murmured.
As if in slow motion, his head lowered. But not until his mouth met hers did she truly believe he was
Christian had looked uncomfortable with the gesture, too, but not because he wanted her. She was sure of that. He'd said he wanted to be friends. Not have her throw herself at him.
Although the hug was meant in no way to be a come-on. She'd just felt happy that he'd been there tonight. That he didn't seem to believe Mark's hateful words, and he'd felt strongly enough about her to stop them.
A warm hum joined the lingering low burn in her belly. Having a champion was so novel to her. She could defend herself. She'd done so for years, but tonight she hadn't had the energy for Mark's attack. She was sore and tired and emotionally worn out. And Christian had been there.
He started up the path. She noted the sheep, in the distance behind him. They were bleating and running in the opposite direction from them, but she didn't give their behavior much thought. She was far more worried about what Christian was thinking than what the sheep were.
As he approached, she couldn't tell his thoughts. The darkness shadowed his face, but she knew bright sunlight wouldn't have helped. She was sure his poker face was back in place.
Neither spoke as they started down the road toward the trailer park. After a few steps, he changed positions, shifting to her other side so that he was on the outside, near the road. Being protective again, she realized. She didn't want to lose that. Not yet.
But still neither said a word until the silence threatened to suffocate her. She didn't want the night to end this way. She'd had too much stress, too much angst of late to let go of something nice in her life. And Christian's friendship would be nice. Her attraction to him was torture, but she could control that. She wouldn't let it ruin a friendship. She needed a friend more than a lover.
They turned into the trailer park, and she knew she had to say something. Part of her thought she should let the hugging incident go and talk about something completely different. But another part of her wasn't listening. That part appeared to be running her mouth.
"I hope you know that hug was only intended as a thank you."
"I know," he answered, his voice low and a little husky. He didn't look at her.
"Because I realize you just want to be friends. And that's what I want, too."
He didn't respond, which only spurred her on like a nervous, chattering schoolgirl.
"I wouldn't hit on you, because I know that you don't find me attractive and, well, I wouldn't hit on you anyway, because I'm really not like that. So—»
Christian stopped and caught her fingers, tugging her to face him. "I enjoyed your hug. And I know you only meant it to be a gesture of thanks."
Relief calmed the tightness in her chest. "I'm glad. I–I just don't want you to think that anything Mark said was true."
"I don't."
She smiled and suppressed the urge to hug him again. Talk about learning nothing from past mistakes. Instead she squeezed the hand that held hers.
"Good."
They continued on, their hands still linked as they strolled to their places. Neither seemed in a hurry to get there.
"Jolee."
"Hmm?" she responded, glancing at him.
In the light from their trailers, she could see the strange expression on his face. His pale eyes were intense as he pulled her to a stop and searched her face, scrutinizing each of her features.
He reached up and touched her cheek, his fingers cool against her skin. "I don't think you are unattractive."
"You don't?" She knew it was a rather inane response, but she was so distracted by his sudden touch, and what it was doing to her insides, the brief question was the best she could do.
"I don't," he murmured.
As if in slow motion, his head lowered. But not until his mouth met hers did she truly believe he was
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