How to Lose Your Virginity ...And How Not To by Shawn Wickens

Rollerblading during the day, and at night I would sneak and wait underneath his bedroom window and he had never snuck out before so I was a bad influence on him. I was never bad either, but he just gave me reason to be a bad girl. We would sneak out to this house being built and fool around; it was like the shell of a house. He was going into the eighth grade and you know, boys at that age are really awkward and stuff but he could tell, he knew I was making the moves on him.
Wesley had a strawberry garden in his backyard and one afternoon he picked and cleaned all these strawberries for me. We’re outside laying in the grass, I had my head on his lap and he’s feeding me these strawberries. He was wearing an unbuttoned long sleeve shirt with the sleeves rolled up and a white t-shirt underneath, real tight Levis jeans with no shoes. It was such a good… everything. He’s feeding me these strawberries and I totally kiss him. Then he led me to his room. He was really cute and I wanted to deflower him, I wanted him to deflower me. He said he’d never done this before. I said, "Me neither." It just happened and it was real nice.
I had a real shaky rapport with men up to that point. My parents were divorced so I didn’t really trust guys. So this was a very positive male experience and it gave me a reason to trust guys but he eventually moved back to Nebraska. His dad was like the Gestapo and wouldn’t let him do anything. He felt really repressed because of it so he moved back with his mom in Omaha.
The song "Omaha" by Counting Crows always made me think of him and I've always really loved that song because of that boy.

I COULD’VE BEEN A STEP DAD
Kyle, 47

New Year’s Eve. I didn’t have any plans so I went to a party with Leonard, one of my older brother’s friends. Her name was Suzanne. I’ll save her last name for myself. Can’t remember the names of the other girls that Leonard brought.
We were drinking. So she thought I was around 17, but I was really 12. I was just with older people and I looked older, big for my age. I weighed about 130 lbs. so I just looked like a skinny 17-year-old. She’d expected me to stay without having to call home and ask my mom if I could spend the night so I obliged. I remember drinking and having a good time. She was a knockout.
Suzanne and I went up to the bedroom. Leonard stayed down there with two of the girls. He got it on with both the girls downstairs. I went upstairs. Got into my thing, whatever I could do at the age of 12. Right in the middle of it all, she asks if I was gay. I had no moves, I was very innocent.
I mean, back in the '70s they didn't have all the stuff they have on TV now, or the Internet. The pornos now. They didn’t have any of that shit when I was a kid. And it’s a little scary and overwhelming seeing a naked body for the first time. My older brother used to have Playboy mags. So the first I got was just like, tit shots. That was as far as I had ever seen. So the whole thing was nerve-wracking.
I really do believe she thought I was 17 and assumed I’d had a couple experiences under my belt. Ended up almost going to Texas with her. She asked me if I knew how to drive. I said, "Sure, I know how to drive." I had already had sex with her, might as well keep the illusion going.
She had an eight or nine-month old child crying in the crib next to her bed, which I felt bad about. Even at that age I was like, "This is not right." She had her own place though so I figured, "OK, she knows what she’s doing." She asked me if I could drive her truck to Texas with her. Split the driving, go down there and start a new life. So I was like, "Yeah, sure. Sounds pretty good." Now the guy I went with, Leonard, the next morning he says, "Kyle, we need to cut out. We need to get you back to your house." I said, "You go. I’m staying here." He said, "Ok, if you want to stay here, suit yourself." About three hours after Leonard left, she told me she had to go shopping for