Dusk (Young Adult Paranormal Romance) by Amy Durham

fact that she would have to take an unpaid day from work tomorrow was completely my fault.
    I said nothing. Just sat at the kitchen table staring at my bare feet.
    “I will call every hour,” she went on. “On the landline. Your cell phone is in my purse, along with the car keys I’ve been keeping for weeks. And I will be back on my lunch hour.”
    Whatever.
    “And at some point, whether you want to or not, you are going to talk to me about this. You don’t get to hide behind your walls for months on end this time.”
    “I told you the truth yesterday.” I whispered, because it was the only way to keep the hurt from showing in my voice. I didn’t want her to know how devastated I’d been when she didn’t believe me.
    “I’d like to believe you, but you’ve made that next to impossible.”
    Right. And now would not be the best time to point out that she’d either forgotten or failed to notice that I really had been starting to come out of my funk.
    Didn’t matter anyway. I was right back in the funk thanks to this latest drama.
    “I have to leave for work now,” she said. “Do some thinking today. And maybe think about someone other than yourself.” And then she was gone.
    For the briefest of moments I thought with longing about the first time I’d gone out drinking with Nikki and Courtney. Not that I missed the two of them. I certainly did not. But I couldn’t help but remember that first hit of alcohol. The burning sensation that I felt all the way down my chest. The way my limbs had begun to feel rubbery and loose. The way that all at once nothing hurt anymore. Memories didn’t stab at me like a dagger.
    A shame that the means to such a blissful end had to be so dangerous. And illegal.
    But no. I would not fall back into that trap. I might be miserable and lonely and all sorts of other unpleasant things for the rest of my life, but I would not be a drunk.
    I at least had a choice in that.
    Pushing up from the kitchen table, I grabbed a back of nacho chips and headed for the couch.
    The rest of my morning consisted of meaningless reruns and junk food. Anything to keep my mind occupied with drivel rather than the mess that was my life. When thoughts of Adrian, Vivian, and my dad threatened to creep in, I slammed them back with chocolate or chips or loud music.
    Mom’s suggestion that I spend the day in reflection was about as effective as trying to dry up a river with a cotton swab. I could reflect all day on Mr. Austin’s stolen items and I still wouldn’t be guilty of stealing them.
    However, I was guilty of plenty, and that’s what coursed through my brain during my hours of thinking of someone other than myself. Namely, all the people I’ve hurt or pushed away.
    I hid the junk food when Mom came home for lunch and pulled out a book assigned by my English teacher. She offered me lunch, in a much nicer voice than the one she berated me with this morning, but I refused and told her I wasn’t hungry. She thought I was being pouty, which was partially true, but she didn’t know about the candy and nacho chips.
    The afternoon was more junk food and music, but I did manage a nap for no other reason than sheer boredom. I waffled back and forth between wishing the time would pass faster and dreading the moment Mom came home. Finally, I popped open my laptop and checked my email, for lack of anything better to do.
    And found a new message from Lea.
    Hello Zoe. I know the start of the school year must be busy. You must be so excited to start your senior year. I’m sure there are dances and ballgames and all sorts of fun things! I just wanted you to know that I’m thinking of you and looking forward to hearing from you again. Our new computers and improved technology at the center have made it much easier to access email and the internet. I’ll be able to respond more quickly to you now. And if you don’t mind, keep a little girl named Ruby in your prayers. She is a regular here at the center. A sweet