Desired Affliction by C.A. Harms Page A

her
sweet smile.
    I needed to get out of here. I pushed up off the couch
and grabbed my keys. I wasn’t sure where I was going I just knew I needed some
air. When I pulled up in front of Lexi’s dorm and saw her car in the lot my
heart raced. Okay so what do I do next?
    I wasn’t exactly sure how I made my way out of my car and
into her building but here I am standing in front of her dorm room trying to
gather the courage to knock. Stop being a pussy Kole…just do it.
    Knock..Knock
     
    I felt like such a fucking girl because when she opened
the door my knees felt weak. She changed her hair but she was still gorgeous
and the way all the layers fell around her face just made her more sexy…I
really didn’t think that was possible but as I stand here in her doorway
looking into her eyes I felt it and yes…definitely sexier.
    “Hey baby, how are you?” Okay Kole way to go what a
pathetic line…that is all I could come up with. “Hi”, she looked so nervous.
She raised her hand up and I noticed what she was holding, “I was um…just
reading your note. I just found the courage to open it…finally.” Did I hear her
right she hadn’t read it until now? All this time I just thought she didn’t
care.
    She stepped aside, “Do you want to come in?” Play it cool
Kole, “Sure…Thanks.” The familiar scent of her engulfed the room. I tried to
take a deep breath in to savor it without being too obvious. She squeezed
passed me and I couldn’t resist I grabbed her waist and pulled her close. She
didn’t object so that was a good sign, “I miss you Lexi…I feel like I can’t
breathe.” I whispered into her ear as I rested my mouth into her neck. I felt
her take a deep breath and I knew she was letting what I said sink in. I just
held her close because I actually felt like I was never going to get another
chance to do it and I wanted it to last.
    She slowly turned and faced me, “Do you still love me or
did you let me go?” I look into Lexi’s beautiful eyes and the question that she
is asking sparks a small hope within me. I rested my forehead against hers,
“There is no way I could let you go Lexi. I am so in love with you and I hate
myself for hurting you baby…I am so sorry.” My lip trembled as I fought the
emotion and then I felt her lips touch mine. I let her control the pace and it
was so sweet and gentle. I felt her tears against my lip as they dripped
between our kiss. She pulled back and I wrapped my arms around her, “I love you
Lexi…so much. I want you back and I will do whatever it takes to make that
happen…whatever you need.” I felt her crying into my chest and I just held her
close.
    “I l-lov-ve y-you too, I m-miss you K-kole”, she cried
into my neck. She loves me…she fucking loves me. She misses me and she loves
me. She pulled back to look at me. I hated to see her red tear stained face
because I caused it. She was still beautiful but it killed me when she cried.
It gutted me to see her scared or sad. Her lower lip trembled and I just wanted
to kiss it but I held back. “You really hurt me Kole. You scared me and the
things you said broke my heart…and when I saw you with Hope…that was horrible.
I hate that she touched you and you touched her.” Her tears ran so heavy, “Shh
baby don’t cry. Please Lexi…I love you. I screwed up so badly and I am so
sorry. I never slept with her…I kicked her out after you walked out. I know
that doesn’t fix anything and the fact that it went as far as did can never be
erased. I can just promise you from this day on that nothing like that will
ever happen again…ever. No matter what is going on I will never hurt you
purposely again.”
    I just wanted to stand there and hold her. I knew it was
going to be rough to get back to where we were I knew that I had to earn her
trust again. I also knew that I was going to do everything I could to make it
happen.

Thirty
Three
    (Lexi)
    Kole and I talked for over an hour and it was hard
because