meaning. I would get there I made a promise to
myself and I refused to give up.
After my session ended I made a quick stop for gas and
drove back to the dorms. I sat in my car for a few minutes. I let my music
softly play as I sang along with the radio…I reached up flipping down my visor.
I had a picture of Kole stashed there. I refused to admit to anyone how much I
truly missed him. I had allowed myself to fall in love and my heart still ached
daily for him. I knew though that what we had was over. He moved on with Hope
and I hadn’t even heard from him after the day he attempted to give me flowers.
The flowers…I just remembered the card that was on my
desk. I shut my car off and made my way upstairs. Megan was gone and I was
secretly glad. I wouldn’t have to explain why I was ready to read it after
almost three weeks.
It took a few minutes but I found it buried behind all my
biology papers I was using to study for finals. I held it in my hand as I
stared at my name printed in block letters on the front…
LEXI
I slowly slid my finger along the edge opening the sealed
envelope…I pulled it out and flipped it over but kept my eyes forward. A letter
was inside and fell to my lap. After a couple deep breathes…I pick it up and
unfolded it.
Hey
beautiful I screwed up pretty badly didn’t I? I know that no amount of flowers
or apologies will ever make up for what I did. I let my pride get in the way
when I should have just listened to you. I should have waited for you to
explain but that is now a mistake that I will have to live the rest of my life
with. I never meant to hurt you Lexi. You are the last person I
ever wanted to hurt. I never expected to be saying what I
am about to for the first time in a letter to you but I know you can’t really
stand to look at me long enough to hear it in person…hell half days I have a
hard time looking at myself too. Lexi I think I freaked so much because that
day when I showed up at your room and we made love…it finally hit me. It hit me
hard that I was in love with you. I am in love with you and I was so freaked
when you started talking because I was ready to tell you that I loved you and
then I heard your confession. I never should have jumped to conclusions but I
can’t fix that mistake now I just have to live with it. I just wanted you to
know how much you do mean to me and you’ll always be that amazing girl I met in
college and fell in love with…I’m so sorry that I had to screw it all up. I’ll
always love you baby and I will never stop missing you.
I love you always
Kole
I couldn’t swallow passed the
thickness that was in my throat. Was that a letter saying goodbye? Knowing he
hurt me…was he saying that he was just going to let go walk away and not even attempt
to fight for it. Did I want him to fight for it? I had no idea what I should
do…
Thirty
Two
(Kole)
“Hey Kole have you seen Lexi lately? I got to say it dude
the girl is looking fine. She changed her hair…hell I had to look twice before
I figured out it really was her. I just got to say if you don’t fight for that
girl…damn you must be crazy,” there really was not a damn thing I could say to
that. Bradley was right. I should be fighting for Lexi but I can’t face
her. After seeing the way she looked at me when she found me and Hope broke my
heart. I never wanted to be responsible for hurting her like that. She couldn’t
even look at me when I brought her flowers. I don’t have the first clue how to
fix this.
How could I fix her broken heart? My love for her is just
as strong as it was. I miss her like crazy and I wish more than anything that I
could just hold her. I haven’t talked to Hope since the day I kicked her out of
my room. I have no desire to see her or be around her. It isn’t for the lack of
her trying because she does all the time. She has just gotten so much easier to
ignore. I haven’t been with anyone and all I do is think about Lexi and
myself and I refused to give up.
After my session ended I made a quick stop for gas and
drove back to the dorms. I sat in my car for a few minutes. I let my music
softly play as I sang along with the radio…I reached up flipping down my visor.
I had a picture of Kole stashed there. I refused to admit to anyone how much I
truly missed him. I had allowed myself to fall in love and my heart still ached
daily for him. I knew though that what we had was over. He moved on with Hope
and I hadn’t even heard from him after the day he attempted to give me flowers.
The flowers…I just remembered the card that was on my
desk. I shut my car off and made my way upstairs. Megan was gone and I was
secretly glad. I wouldn’t have to explain why I was ready to read it after
almost three weeks.
It took a few minutes but I found it buried behind all my
biology papers I was using to study for finals. I held it in my hand as I
stared at my name printed in block letters on the front…
LEXI
I slowly slid my finger along the edge opening the sealed
envelope…I pulled it out and flipped it over but kept my eyes forward. A letter
was inside and fell to my lap. After a couple deep breathes…I pick it up and
unfolded it.
Hey
beautiful I screwed up pretty badly didn’t I? I know that no amount of flowers
or apologies will ever make up for what I did. I let my pride get in the way
when I should have just listened to you. I should have waited for you to
explain but that is now a mistake that I will have to live the rest of my life
with. I never meant to hurt you Lexi. You are the last person I
ever wanted to hurt. I never expected to be saying what I
am about to for the first time in a letter to you but I know you can’t really
stand to look at me long enough to hear it in person…hell half days I have a
hard time looking at myself too. Lexi I think I freaked so much because that
day when I showed up at your room and we made love…it finally hit me. It hit me
hard that I was in love with you. I am in love with you and I was so freaked
when you started talking because I was ready to tell you that I loved you and
then I heard your confession. I never should have jumped to conclusions but I
can’t fix that mistake now I just have to live with it. I just wanted you to
know how much you do mean to me and you’ll always be that amazing girl I met in
college and fell in love with…I’m so sorry that I had to screw it all up. I’ll
always love you baby and I will never stop missing you.
I love you always
Kole
I couldn’t swallow passed the
thickness that was in my throat. Was that a letter saying goodbye? Knowing he
hurt me…was he saying that he was just going to let go walk away and not even attempt
to fight for it. Did I want him to fight for it? I had no idea what I should
do…
Thirty
Two
(Kole)
“Hey Kole have you seen Lexi lately? I got to say it dude
the girl is looking fine. She changed her hair…hell I had to look twice before
I figured out it really was her. I just got to say if you don’t fight for that
girl…damn you must be crazy,” there really was not a damn thing I could say to
that. Bradley was right. I should be fighting for Lexi but I can’t face
her. After seeing the way she looked at me when she found me and Hope broke my
heart. I never wanted to be responsible for hurting her like that. She couldn’t
even look at me when I brought her flowers. I don’t have the first clue how to
fix this.
How could I fix her broken heart? My love for her is just
as strong as it was. I miss her like crazy and I wish more than anything that I
could just hold her. I haven’t talked to Hope since the day I kicked her out of
my room. I have no desire to see her or be around her. It isn’t for the lack of
her trying because she does all the time. She has just gotten so much easier to
ignore. I haven’t been with anyone and all I do is think about Lexi and
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