way she held her head to the side when she was questioning something he said, the way she put her hand on her hip when she was trying to make a point, and the way every move she made was graceful, like a ballet dancerâs, and smooth like flowing water, and it turned him on. But most of all, he paid attention to her eyes. They were large and expressive, and looking into them he realized that the longing heâd seen earlier was actually sadness. He didnât know what had happened in her life to make her that way, but he hoped she would give him the opportunity to find out, and possibly to change it.
Phillip purposely tried to prolong their shopping adventure because he knew they were nearing the end of his list. Heâd added a few items that his mother didnât need in order to spend more time with Donetta.
âWe should get in separate lines so we can check out faster,â Donetta said as she pushed her cart toward the checkout lanes.
Phillip nodded, reluctantly. âOkay, that makes sense.â
He stood in line and glanced over at Donetta in the next aisle. Sheâd picked up a chocolate candy bar and then put it back down as she shook her head, no doubt talking herself out of the delicious indulgence in favor of watching her slim waistline. He smiled to himself and noted that she had a sweet tooth. He could see that her checkout line was moving much faster than his, and before he knew it sheâd paid the cashier and was pushing her cart full of groceries toward the exit door.
She was walking slowly, and it made him think that maybe she was contemplating whether to stay or go. Slowly, she turned around, smiled, and waved good-bye before walking out of the store.
âDamn it!â Phillip said out loud, drawing a few stares from other customers. Heâd hoped that he and Donetta would finish at the same time so he could get her number, and if he was lucky, continue their conversation later tonight over drinks. While theyâd been browsing the aisles, heâd learned that she didnât have a boyfriend, which had been hard for him to believe, and that she hadnât been on a date in more than six months, which was nearly impossible to imagine. When heâd asked her why, her short response had been, âItâs complicated.â Heâd wanted to know more, but now that she was gone, so was his chance.
Phillipâs thoughts were interrupted when he heard a text alert come through on his phone. Itâs probably Mom wondering how much longer itâs gonna take me to bring home her chicken marsala, he thought. He pulled his phone from his back pocket and frowned when he saw that the message was from Sabrina, an attractive anesthesiologist heâd been seeing on and off since last summer.
Dr. Sabrina Matthews was a cultured woman, and well-known among the whoâs who of DCâs young urban professional sect. She had the right credentials, came from a prominent family, had a lucrative career, and was easy on the eyes. But for all her seemingly great attributes, she couldnât hold Phillipâs attention for long, because everything about her screamed of a life he didnât wantâproper, dull, and devoid of passion. He needed something more than simple window dressing.
He also didnât like the fact that Sabrina was overly concerned with outward appearances and social status, and that she was trying to pressure him into a deeper commitment. Heâd told her from the very beginning that he wasnât interested in a serious relationship, but he could tell she had other plans. Last month sheâd even hinted that she was ready to settle down and start a family, to which heâd told her he wasnât. Phillip knew that Sabrina was the type of woman who was willing to use anything at her disposal, including her body, to get what she wanted, so he had to be careful with her. He had to admit that sex with her was good, but not good enough to
C. J. Cherryh
Learning to Kill: Stories
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